Quote:
Originally Posted by DudeImBetter
As a side note, I'm not buying the "Don't date at work" heuristic. We spend 60+ hours per week with our colleagues, it's only natural that you'd find yourself getting to know and having romantic interests in a select few. Follow the heuristic if you're socially inept, but otherwise proceeding slowly and with caution is GTO.
Still think it's a bad idea. All of these opinions sound shortsighted, like how to avoid harassment. Sure, yeah, proceed slowly and cautiously is a good way not to creep people out.
Again, though: presume I am talking about a normal career-track job for adults, not a job you don't give a **** about. If it's a job you don't care about, this might not apply.
But assume you want to work in your job, advance in your company, have a solid work network, build relationships with clients, whatever.
Then aren't there only three eventual outcomes here? The end game is either:
1. you marry the person, so you go from seeing them 40-60 hours a week at work to all the time. This may work for some people but I'm confident this is not a good life choice for everyone -- even socially well adjusted people
2. you are (eventually) working with an ex, which has the potential for all sorts of awkward and uncomfortable situations -- even socially well adjusted people
3. one of you leaves the company
I don't see it as a good idea. I've been married for a long time now so I'm not a young horny dude desperate to get laid so it's easy to be a little more cold, a little more rational about this. I think the biggest risk is #2 and has the chance to derail a career; it's the kind of thing that would make someone leave a job sort of unwittingly just to get away from the person. You have to trust that the person isn't going to gossip about you when you're gone or you might become subject of office gossip. Again, some people might not care, but for some people that can have an impact on their career or at least be embarrassing.
It seems like almost all outcomes that arise from "dating at work" are bad or suboptimal aside from people who either thrive working with their spouse or can break up with someone without too much emotional baggage.
I can anticipate we'll eventually get to the whole "well I'm a free spirit, I'll just find a new job" objections which, OK, whatever, can't argue with that. Or perhaps a "I just **** em and leave em high and dry, no skin off my back." Basically I can't object to "I don't really give a **** bout nothing but getting my dick wet" and its variants. But if you care about your career and you don't want your job muddied with a bunch of personal concerns, I'm pretty confident it's a bad idea to date at work except in the "we fell head over heels and I love spending all my professional and free time around one person" type people.
Last edited by DVaut1; 10-20-2017 at 11:14 AM.