Quote:
Originally Posted by revots33
I'd say not consenting to a guy giving you oral sex... and then not consenting to give that same guy oral sex... twice... is a good starting point to avoiding unpleasant sexual situations.
Sometimes I think we forget simple human decency though. Why can't she righteously feel bad even assuming she's sent mixed signals, consented, wanted to engage in oral sex but not **** him, etc.? Or got cajoled into oral sex but wasn't really interested in it? If she simply thought the night would go differently?
Forget sex. People consent to things all the time they later regret. Since when are all regrets only justifiably felt if the thing was done with coercion? I've freely consented to all sorts of things that later I regretted, then was pissed about. That's a natural human emotion.
I mean assume a possible scenario: the girl was starstruck, thought she would be able to turn him into a long-term dating partner or boyfriend -- how fun to date a celebrity, someone notable, think about how good she'd feel about herself, etc. And Ansari sort of realized the same and thought he could use it to his advantage, to get some relatively low-effort sex and move along. Seems plausible given the reported story.
But then most of the way through the date, halfway through their sexual encounter, whatever, she'd determined he was simply going to use her for sex then send her home in a cab. Her hopes were dashed. She thought she was going to be able to go home and tell her friends they had a cute, fun date, and instead he just tried to rush back to his apartment to bang her quick and get back to watching Seinfeld repeats.
Isn't that something you could regret? Feel cheated and manipulated by? Hold against someone, rightfully?
Maybe her own naivete is to blame. And so? When people take advantage of my naivete, or I let my guard down and someone takes advantage (work, family, time, money, whatever), I get pissed and revenge is in the range of stuff I want to seek out. Why is this woman supposed to become dispassionate and cold and just be like "oh Aziz, you cad, well played sir, you got me."
I really have little sympathy for Aziz here. I obviously wasn't there, I have no idea, but assuming a likely scenario where he recognized she was infatuated with his celebrity persona, that could be manipulated for sex, and he intended simply to **** her and not really move beyond that --
treating people like that is going to lead to predictable outcomes. What does he expect to happen? This is what happens when you treat people like ****. Happens all the time outside of human sexual relations.
As I said in my last post: the Golden Rule would seem to solve a decent amount of sexual misconduct. Don't use people for selfish ends and only proceed trying to **** people if you're sure it's in their best interests. If you suspect they are expecting something more or different, or if you were trying to leverage whatever circumstances were available to you (your celebrity, your position at work, circumstances like inebriation, etc.) into plying sex out of someone -- expect regret. Expect heartache. Expect a harsh aftermath. Even if she consents.
Last edited by DVaut1; 01-15-2018 at 01:21 PM.