5 years ago, I wrote something on facebook about how having a child (who was 1 at the time) helped me empathize with the parents of the children shot and killed at Sandy Hook, and how heartbreaking that was.
5 years later...
- My oldest is nearly the same age as many of the children who were shot and killed at Sandy Hook.
- My two kids go to a school like Sandy Hook. Filled with happy innocent children and dedicated teachers. I trust that it's a safe place for them, much like the parents of the children who were killed 5 years ago today.
- When I hear the story of a kid saying "help me, I don't want to be here" to the killer, I can imagine my kids (6 and 4), panicked, saying that to this grown-up as a last effort to try and get help
- I see my kids' amazing sister relationship. Watching them interact fills my heart with joy. I hear stories of younger siblings hugging their older sibling goodbye, for what turned out to be the last time.
- I remember one of my friends, buying an AR-15 shortly after this massacre and laughing as they told me
- I remember gun owners, and the gun lobby, doing everything they can do deny, obfuscate, and redirect the discussion from the role guns play in this country's epidemic of gun deaths
- I heard that no gun control would stop every shooting (as if reducing gun deaths weren't an admirable goal)
- I heard that mental illness was the real problem, and then I watched Republicans in congress vote to slash access to mental health care and make it easier for mentally ill people to access guns
- I heard that what we needed was for teachers to have guns (studies show untrained people are more likely to kill innocent people or die themselves then stop a shooter). Then I saw a someone kill 59 people and wound 500+ at a country music concert where plenty of the innocent people were armed.
- I heard that I was politicizing a tragedy by wanting to talk about how it happened and how we can make it less likely in the future.
5 years later, I've lost a child I barely knew. It was the worst thing I can imagine. These parents lost children they knew. They lost children who they had relationships with, who knew what was happening and felt scared.
5 years later I can empathize with the stories of these parents and children so much more, and it makes my heart cry.