edit: jokes too long, no pole

The first one. Let's get it over with.

I like abortion humor so I'll go with that joke about trying it out and knocking the baby out of you. Moves the overton window to the left. People have this weird tip-toe stance with abortion where they have to support it, but personally not like it. Screw that.

It's a highly effective form of birth control and perfectly legal. Don't like it? Don't get one.

I liked "Mike Pence is what happens when Anderson Cooper isn't gay"

Incredible

Well yea, hence Pro-Choice.

No one goes "Hey, let's have sex and you get me pregnant so I can get an abortion just for fun!"

Thought of a good concept for a WHCD joke:

[Michelle Wolf voice]

So print media isn't a thing anymore. I guess most of you are just writing clickbait now? Hey, one of you should write about trying this one simple trick to revitalize your democracy: journalism. You know those videos where they show like Irish people trying Texas barbecue for the first time? You do one with Wolf Blitzer. "Watch this middle aged white guy try journalism for the first time"...(wait for groans to land)...Wolf, Wolf, I'm just kidding...

No a better joke would be like "Hey remember when Trump bragged about grabbing women by the pussy?" Why the **** didn't any of you hold him to that?

punch line needs work

That's the joke.

i liked the one about gay cowboys eating pudding

The Rachel Maddow one

Something like: "I haven't had a MeToo moment, but I did work at Bear Stearns in '08. I wasn't sexually harrassed there, but I was ****ed. That place went down on me without my consent."

Yeah, that's pretty well understood, but I think people should stop finding these weird ass ways to begrudgingly defend it. Either you support birth control or you don't. Abortion is birth control.

Liberals always seem to have these half-cocked reasons for supporting something while the other side speaks in absolutes. "Abortion is murder! No exceptions!" vs "I don't like abortion and would have to think long and hard about getting one, but I support a woman's right to choose".

Anyways, I'll stop derailing here.

I don't think she meant this as a "joke" but more as a keen observation. It was her comment to the effect that a lot of journalists publicly profess their dislike (or even hatred) of Donald Trump while secretly they actually love him. Her point was that Trump has been great for their careers - and their wallets. Think of the two journalists - one from the New York Times and the other from the Washington Post - who have just won Pulitzer Prizes for their articles on Trump. Winning a Pulitzer Prize is the journalism world's equivalent of the Heisman Trophy.

Les Moonves, the top dog at CBS, admitted the terrible truth during the Presidential debates back in 2016. Paraphrasing slightly, Mr. Moonves commented: "Trump may not be good for the country, but he's been great for CBS." Mr. Moonves was referring to his network's ratings.

well life is complex and nuanced and living by absolutes will get you into trouble

you have politicians who go full absolute saying things like 'if a 42 year old man rapes his 12 year old daughter and she gets pregnant, she shouldn't be able to get an abortion because it was god's will', which is uh problematic

mike pence/cooper joke is v good

Conservatives always seem to have these half-cocked reasons for supporting something while the other side speaks in absolutes. "Abortion is a woman's choice! No exceptions!" vs "I don't like abortion and would have to think long and hard about getting one for the girl I knocked up, but I'm a good Christian and am pro life because I want to be reelected.

I thought the following line made that one even better. Something like "and the men that did that still haven't been held responsible"

https://twitter.com/VicBergerIV/stat...43525030006785

I also really liked "You Democrats act like you're going to take back the house and Senate, but we all know you're going to end up losing by 12 points to some guy named Jeff Pedophile Nazi Doctor (oh, he's a doctor!)"

so abortion and slavery are equivalent, hmmm good to know

And it’s more effective at reducing abortions than conservative policies. Seems like the anti-abortion party should be the one that has policies which reduce abortions, right? Not in our stupid country.

Yeah, I definitely laughed out loud at that one.

I think my favorite was how Mika and Joe getting engaged is like a MeToo working out.

Even though the delivery could have been better, the one about huckabee sanders being an uncle tom for white woman was fire

And as far as Michelle's delivery being not great I think that folks need to realize what a hard think it is to work the WHCD, especially if the crowd is hostile. Like she was bombing -- intentionally -- which I think throws her timing off a bit as she can't rely on audience cues like she normally would. So, a lot of her jokes felt rushed, probably because I think that's then natural instinct when the crowd is hostile. I noticed the same thing with Wilmore's set, he rushed quite a few of his jokes when they needed another beat or two to land fully.

This was pretty savage. Liked this, the abortion joke, and the comment that Sanders is like an Uncle Tom for white women.

I think she could have done a lot better going after Trump, who is like the biggest target in the history of comedy, but this stuff was good.