Quote:
Originally Posted by markksman
This is the long and short of it. He admits he retains a memory of a version of events that differ from hers. If this memory does not involve any wrong doing, than a flat out “This never happened” snap response would have been the only appropriate response. It is the ONLY appropriate response for any of these allegations are targeted at an innocent person.
By not clearly denying it happened he is absolutely admitting something unacceptable did happen. There is simply no way to read his response. If a woman makes an accusation with no evidence or proof and the alleged attacker quickly and clearly denies it, then we can have a discussion about nuance and investigations. That is wholly inappropriate here.
Nobody who is accused of such things while innocent should do anything but fully and clearly deny it quickly. If you are not sure that is on you. If you want to spin a “well maybe I was a little guilty” defense that is on you.
This whole issue with sexual harassment and sexual assault is extremly complex so there is absolutely no room for guys who know they are completely innocent to be mucking things up. You don’t have to belittle or accuse the accuser. Just flatly deny it. If you can’t because your conscious will not allow you, or you know evidence exists or evidence has already become public then those are the breaks.
It's amazing how confident you are in so many terrible views.
For the entire forum: It's really important to understand that a lot of sexual assault cases occur without intent. It's very common for men to have no understanding of how their interactions with women can be perceived as creepy and threatening. Failure to understand this perpetuates the problem. When you do understand this, not only will you be more likely to pick up on cues that the woman you're talking to is uncomfortable, but you're more likely to respect a woman's point of view when she flat out tells you that you're making her uncomfortable. That last part is really important for promoting an environment where women feel safe speaking out when they're harassed.
Without making any assumptions about what actually happened between Franken and Tweeden (in regards to the rehearsal, we know what's happening in the picture), we know at least that Tweeden felt harassed.
The only correct response when confronted with this fact is to apologize and correct your behavior. That is not the time or place to get into an argument about what actually happened. You're not going to change how she felt about it. And it's not a debate to have in public.
Franken's apology makes his position pretty clear for anyone who understands sexual harassment in this context. He admits the picture is exactly what it is and acknowledges that it was inappropriate. He admits at a minimum that his actions at the rehearsal could have been perceived as inappropriate and apologized for it. That's not a cop out by the way, the way Tweeden perceived the rehearsal is what matters most. By not admitting that everything happened exactly as described he's implying that either some details are wrong or the intent that she accused him of was not there. Whether that's because it's the truth or because it's his best case scenario given the evidence can be debated (or you know, investigated and kept at the most private level possible). Whether we've already reached the point where he should resign or if that depends on the details of what happened can be debated. It is
not OK to debate that he should have either admitted to everything or denied it more forcefully. To take this position means you don't understand the range of behaviors that lead to women feeling harassed, and your misunderstanding on the issue is toxic to improving the situation.
