Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterRodriguez
what a ****ing loser
correct
people are always confused - "no one knows what it's like to be the sad man, to be the bad man behind blue eyes"
I have a baby face. I'm pleasant enough in person. I seem kind. I'm quite book smart and quick with a smile. People often forget I'm really an almost intolerable ass. I grew up profoundly unhappy. I spent a large portion of my formative years drinking/drugging with few apologies. I've frequently mentioned Local H "As Good As Dead" as my favorite album; anyone read the lyrics? Just listen to "Fritz's Corner" for the cliffs. "Siamese Dream" and "The Bends" also hit home (2 of 3 of those album creators grew up within miles of me just a few years older -- so I'm not even unique) along with reading Kafka, Twain, and Pynchon.
Regardless, I wish there were adults I respected who would've shook my silly notions when I went off to be an advantage gambler for a career. Sadly, I was familiar enough myself with the psychology lit at the time to know it was a hollow life for someone of my belief structure. By all appearances, it looks like a success as I'm going to put a 6 figure amount on line 38(?) of my 1040 again with a happy marriage and kids I love. It is top 5% of possible outcome space but it doesn't mean I don't wish it was better.