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Old 11-15-2013, 07:18 PM   #76
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 909
Re: October, a story about poker and my life.

Originally Posted by jDiDo View Post
To everyone hating on him saying "what have you learned though?" And "you need help, your never going to be a successful poker pro" are completely wrong. Times like this is when a man decides if he is going to succumb to his depression and basically lay down and die or fight. Nirwanda chose to fight and made it out. He crawled out of hell( or at least his hell) I have been to my own personal hell and that is why I can vow for Nirwanda. Weird I know, but my freshman year of high school and sophomore were the worst days of my life and I was severely depressed. I remember just wanting a apocalypse to happen and never wanted to wake up every night I went to sleep. My depression was caused by a severe amount of tragic things happening to me at once. I was a sheltered small town star baseball player but in dreams of becoming a pro baseball player me and my family decided it was best to go to a high school a town an hour away that was big and had a much better program/ exposure. I knew nobody at this school coming into my freshman year of high school (which is hard in itself) I lost almost every friend I had in my small town because they were busy with their new high school and etc. I thought it would be okay and I would make friends from baseball and always thought " it's okay jake you still have baseball" Well everything was good at first. I made varsity as a freshman and was doing great in the pre season games. However that Fall I suffered an injury most pitchers can never come back from. A torn labrum in the shoulder. I did not want to complain about my injury being a Freshman and all I tried to still pitch. My teammates(all much older) would pick on me as my velocity decreased and I was getting the **** hit out of me. The coaches told me what a disappointment I was and "expected much better things from me" so after finally my arm feeling like it was going to fall off I told them I can't pitch anymore( not like it mattered because I was benched by then and just came in some relief spots). At the same time I was going through puberty and got some acne, shaved my head( to this day I don't know why but honestly think it was a way of my own pride just deflating and my own way of saying I was nobody) I felt ugly and was picked on quite a bit (no girl to save the day). While losing baseball the only thing I thought I had left I still had a great family and at least I could fall back on them for comfort. Well, around the same time my injury happened my dad was diagnosed with MG- a muscle weakening dies ease with no known cure. I watched my once strong buff dad who I looked up to slowly start dying. He could not get out of bed most days, could not eat much, and literally was just dying. I was losing everything around me at 14 and had no reason or understanding of how to deal with it. But in these moments I fought and did not give in. I kept going through "hell" until there was no more. My dad had a surgery done as a desperation it might cure him but was only a presumed 15% chance it would work. Well, it did. My role model was back and working out again being the big strong dad I always knew. This gave me a drive back a nudge saying " get up jake". I began searching ways to cure my arm with rehab methods. Well, I did it and my senior year I was all state and pitcher of the year. Almost got drafted too( had Yankees call me, Clemson, UNLV and other big colleges wanted me). This for me was the biggest learning experience in my life. I became my own bestfriend and learned that I can achieve anything. Now whenever I am depressed I almost laugh and like the "pain" because I know it will never defeat me. So if Nirwanda is anything like me that is what these moments teach you.
Inspiring story.
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