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Old 07-12-2005, 04:56 PM   #1
Phil Galfond
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For your reading pleasure...

Conversation that ensued after I sat down at a Step 5 Higher table. I fixed it to make it more readable. It starts out a little slow, but I'm just reeling him in. I spice it up towards the end....

Dealer: skinsftbl has joined the table.
Dealer: Waiting for 9 more players to start the game.
BB0UJA: skinsftbl wats up
skinsftbl: sup
BB0UJA: not doing to well man
skinsftbl: sorry to hear
BB0UJA: dropped 5k today at the steps and 2k nl tables
BB0UJA: hows it going for you
skinsftbl: medium.. havent played today yet
BB0UJA: ohh
BB0UJA: do you remember me
BB0UJA: do you recognize my name?
skinsftbl: nope
BB0UJA: weve played a few times before
BB0UJA: im the guy from the leaderboard
skinsftbl: k
BB0UJA: this your first 5k tableha?
skinsftbl: yeah, it is
BB0UJA: yeah ive never seen you here
BB0UJA: ive seen you at the steps a few times i think
BB0UJA: the 1k step
skinsftbl: yeah, true
BB0UJA: anyway skins
skinsftbl: anyways
BB0UJA: i came to ask you for a big favor if you can
skinsftbl: k
BB0UJA: i came to see if you can loan me 400 until tommarow evening
BB0UJA: reason being i do western union and my cash wontbe in until tommarow
BB0UJA: i mean if you can do it i will pay you back with interest
BB0UJA: what you think skins
BB0UJA: can you float me?
skinsftbl: how do you not have $400?
skinsftbl: I'm confused
BB0UJA: i do western union thats why
BB0UJA: i dont do bank transfer
BB0UJA: on a bad day like this id probably make party players rich lol
skinsftbl: i mean in your account though
BB0UJA: i do western union to control myself
BB0UJA: i dropped a bundle today
skinsftbl: oh.. I feel ya. good idea about the western union to cool down
BB0UJA: yeah
BB0UJA: i do western union to control myself
BB0UJA: i just went right now
skinsftbl: how much did you have before your bad run?
BB0UJA: i usually have like 7k in account minimum
BB0UJA: but ive been cashing out all month
skinsftbl: that's a little low for the steps, don't you think? Or is that for self control?
BB0UJA: just opened me a wholesale bussiness in michigan
skinsftbl: nice
BB0UJA: 7k i play alot more 200s though
BB0UJA: maybe 1 1k step
BB0UJA: a day
BB0UJA: but yeah thats it
skinsftbl: oh, ok. sound about right
BB0UJA: or i would qualify from the lower steps
skinsftbl: dude, I dunno. I've been where you're at before and I wish I had thought to wait a couple days
skinsftbl: hard to turn around when the cards aren'y hittin you
BB0UJA: true but thing is
BB0UJA: i want to play a multi special tonight
BB0UJA: i mean if you can float me skins
BB0UJA: i will pay you back 450
BB0UJA: 50 interest for a day
BB0UJA: 25k here is not bad
BB0UJA: are you there?
skinsftbl: hey man, from one poker player to another, I think you gotta sit today out
skinsftbl: I'm not gonna let you do this to yourself
BB0UJA: i have to qualify for a tournament thats why
BB0UJA: yeah i know but thing is i need to qualify for a multi tables tourney
BB0UJA: if i dont qualify today i dont get it
skinsftbl: man, i dunno
skinsftbl: what tourney?
BB0UJA: ppm
BB0UJA: sup satelite
skinsftbl: yeah.. I mean, do you think you can play right? or will you be off your game?
BB0UJA: yeah i think i can play right
BB0UJA: i mean im up overall
BB0UJA: im sure ill get it back tommarow
BB0UJA: when i go to the 200 games
BB0UJA: i mostly a 200 sng player
skinsftbl: you said it yourself man, western union. I don't wanna lose another player to tilt
BB0UJA: do really well in the 200s
skinsftbl: I mean, I'm trying to think about your well-being
BB0UJA: naw man
BB0UJA: skins i understand you feel me but i need to get three packages for the ppm thats why
skinsftbl: BB.. you have a gambling problem
skinsftbl: you need to get help
skinsftbl: It happens to the best of us
BB0UJA: trust me i dont
BB0UJA: honestly
BB0UJA: im up 800k on party man
BB0UJA: i play alot of poker
skinsftbl: that's what an addict would say man
BB0UJA: 800k
BB0UJA: check my stats on prophecy
skinsftbl: I was there one time... listen to this story
skinsftbl: I was playing way too high for my bankroll
BB0UJA: ok
skinsftbl: and I lost it all in one day.
skinsftbl: I borrowed 10k from a good friend, who was pretty wealthy
BB0UJA: k
BB0UJA: wow
skinsftbl: lost it within 3 hours.
BB0UJA: wow
skinsftbl: since the money didnt mean that much to him, I tried to see if there was anything I could do
skinsftbl: like, instead of paying him back
BB0UJA: ohh
skinsftbl: cuz he's the type of guy that likes to see people do stupid stuff for money
BB0UJA: lol
skinsftbl: so, he told me to eat 1/2 lb of my own poop
skinsftbl: no joke
BB0UJA: ok and what did you do?
BB0UJA: dam
BB0UJA: XXXX that
skinsftbl: and I did it. but thats not all
skinsftbl: he made fun of me like, all the time
skinsftbl: from that day on
skinsftbl: and one time he was gonna tell my girl about it
BB0UJA: wow'
skinsftbl: and, i really didnt want her to know
BB0UJA: yeah
skinsftbl: I stabbed him dude.
skinsftbl: i XXXXing stabbed my friend
skinsftbl: he's alive tho... but he can't walk
BB0UJA: get the fuc out of here
skinsftbl: and he sued me hard
BB0UJA: and?
skinsftbl: I played poker for 5 years and paid the settlement
skinsftbl: spent 2 years in jail first tho
BB0UJA: how much was it?
skinsftbl: 500k
BB0UJA: dam
BB0UJA: but the guy cant walk
skinsftbl: so dude, don't play today. You might eat poop and stab a dude
BB0UJA: aand hes a millionaire probably
BB0UJA: comon man
BB0UJA: for 400 dollars
BB0UJA: i have my own established bussiness bro
skinsftbl: is $400 worth eating poop and stabbing your best XXXXing friend!
skinsftbl: ?
BB0UJA: but thing is my cash wont be in until tommarow
BB0UJA: naw man
BB0UJA: i will pay you tommarow bro
skinsftbl: no. I won't let you face what I face.
BB0UJA: honestly
BB0UJA: lol
BB0UJA: how am i going to face what you did
skinsftbl: learn from my mistakes
BB0UJA: lol
skinsftbl: also...
BB0UJA: what you make me eat my XXXX for 400 dollars
BB0UJA: would
skinsftbl: stop this stupid scam
skinsftbl: moran
(long pause)
BB0UJA: ]skings
BB0UJA: you think im scamming you'
BB0UJA: thats the dumest story ive ever hurd by the way
(he left)
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Old 07-12-2005, 05:19 PM   #2
MagnoliasFM
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

lol. good read.
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Old 07-12-2005, 05:24 PM   #3
Slim Pickens
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

Quote:
[would] you make me eat my XXXX for 400 dollars
Dude... if you have to ask, you won't like the answer.

Hilarious.
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Old 07-12-2005, 05:34 PM   #4
Matt R.
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

Quote:
skinsftbl: so, he told me to eat 1/2 lb of my own poop
I've never actually laughed out loud from a 2+2 post until I got to this line.
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Old 07-12-2005, 05:35 PM   #5
pokerlaw
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

Quote:
skinsftbl: [/b] so dude, don't play today. You might eat poop and stab a dude
words to live by, haha.
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Old 07-12-2005, 05:47 PM   #6
future
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

This is the most random thing I've ever read in my life. I had no idea it was going where it was...
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Old 07-12-2005, 05:50 PM   #7
GreekHouse
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

Hilarious...good work.
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Old 07-12-2005, 05:53 PM   #8
Jay36489
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

lol, gg Jman
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Old 07-12-2005, 06:11 PM   #9
Gildwulf
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

I'm in tears...tears of joy.
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Old 07-12-2005, 06:12 PM   #10
Geordie Ramone
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

Quote:
skinsftbl: [/b] so dude, don't play today. You might eat poop and stab a dude
magnificent
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Old 07-12-2005, 06:26 PM   #11
trdi
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

Thanks for posting it.
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Old 07-12-2005, 06:59 PM   #12
YourFoxyGrandma
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

Quote:
skinsftbl: and one time he was gonna tell my girl about it
BB0UJA: wow'
skinsftbl: and, i really didnt want her to know
BB0UJA: yeah
skinsftbl: I stabbed him dude.
skinsftbl: i XXXXing stabbed my friend
skinsftbl: he's alive tho... but he can't walk
Brilliant. Nice work, Skins.
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Old 07-12-2005, 09:35 PM   #13
Phil Galfond
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

Quote:
Quote:
[would] you make me eat my XXXX for 400 dollars
Dude... if you have to ask, you won't like the answer.


You think if I asked him to, and told him to send me a picture, he would've tried to find a pic of a guy eating poop and send it to me?
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Old 07-12-2005, 09:49 PM   #14
iMsoLucky0
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

That is a piece of art. Seriously,
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Old 07-12-2005, 10:48 PM   #15
SlackerMcFly
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

Quote:
so dude, don't play today. You might eat poop and stab a dude
This will become the standard reply to "variance" posts from here on out... Hilarious!

Thanks for the best laugh since I heard what JohnnyBeef paid for those silly pants! Great post.
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Old 07-13-2005, 12:12 AM   #16
microbet
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

Bravo!
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Old 07-13-2005, 12:24 AM   #17
Mr_J
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

Quote:
skinsftbl: so, he told me to eat 1/2 lb of my own poop
Did nothing for me...

Quote:
I stabbed him dude.
But that was gold

These guys all seriously hang around begging for scraps?? So sad.
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Old 07-13-2005, 12:25 AM   #18
eastbay
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

Quote:

These guys all seriously hang around begging for scraps?? So sad.
I don't know where these guys heads' are at who can go to the high stakes tables and go "hey dude if you win this can you transfer me $N?"

But I really hope I never get there. I think I'd eat a shotgun first.

eastbay
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Old 07-13-2005, 12:38 AM   #19
4T25Q85
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

OMG!! Im in tears as well, i havent laughed so hard in about a year. What a doomass, it actually sounded like he believed you,lol, thats what made it so funny.

LOL(still), oh boy...my cheeks hurt
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Old 07-13-2005, 12:40 AM   #20
Newt_Buggs
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

hahahaha, very nice work.

Back when I played the $11s I once had a player look me up and ask for $3, but somehow I don't think that that's as impressive.
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Old 07-13-2005, 12:50 AM   #21
Mr_J
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

Nice avatar
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Old 07-13-2005, 01:01 AM   #22
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

that was beyond amazing. it really was.
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Old 07-13-2005, 01:13 AM   #23
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

Quote:
Quote:
skinsftbl: [/b] so dude, don't play today. You might eat poop and stab a dude
magnificent
I think I'm crying right now over this. Wow that's good [censored]

ZIPPPY
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Old 07-13-2005, 01:51 AM   #24
MSUcougar
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

That same guy started trying to talk to me in a SNG tonight...

Started off just the same
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Old 07-13-2005, 05:37 AM   #25
Phil Galfond
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Re: For your reading pleasure...

Quote:
That same guy started trying to talk to me in a SNG tonight...

Started off just the same
We should all do the exact same bit when he talks to us.

You have my permission to recreate the story.
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