For some reason, I don't believe any of this....

Lol this guys a character

But probably just

I think you should help him obtain a new identity so he can go back to high school

The "getting face" thing is truly among the funniest things I've seen in any recent thread. I just walked past a hot girl on the sidewalk and made eye contact with her in the process, then suddenly realized that I should be much more excited about this since I got face.

Is this just a character sketch for a creative writing class?

All of it's just too funny. His odd eccentricities, his having no problem with the way he chooses to live his life , your uneasiness with his decision/inability to conform to societies standards.

this is truly incredible .... i feel like someone could follow this guy around secretly and tape him and post the videos on youtube and be a giant hit and then he'll eventually get his own reality show

These stories are so awesome.

If you want to help you should buy him that car.

I have a friend similar to this and he was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
He was living in the past etc etc. Not soooo crazy. When he was on meds he became allright.

Get a documentary film maker to "follow his journey to the NBA."

Please.

Also, I'd throw $100 in for you to buy him a camaro as a surprise gift (need, what, 35 other similar donations?) as long as you record an interview with him or something.

This guy is a cross between the guy from The King of Comedy, and Ignatius from Confederacy of Dunces.

Coolest guy ever.

It's funny because I have a friend a lot like him, except my friend has a gf, is moving towards a career, and is younger. But he's absolutely entertaining and fun as hell to go out with so long as you don't get embarrassed easily and can stand the places he likes.

That said, this guy needs to change a bit because he doesn't have his **** together at all.

then OP is brilliant. 'getting face?' i want to shake the man's hand who came up with that gem.

This guy is a hybrid of three Arrested Development characters. He lives with his mother like Buster, has Gob's over confidence and has Tobias' unrealistic career aspirations.

Fascinating.

Or one of these two guys:

def show him this thread and stop being his friend

Going to the mall and getting face?

I know what I'm doing this weekend!

Hey guys, I'm about to head out to the bars. Will report back with face-getting tr!

You're almost dead on with this - except instead of a headband imagine a big mouth piece. If he lost...after the game he'd be shooting jumpers shouting 'gimme the ball!' making a small scene in the gym. More later

What does the Mom think of this? Does she have a clue and/or occasionally try to convince him to get a life and stop being so lame?

Somehow I kind of see the possibility of her being clueless and somehow buying into his idea of a future NBA career and his tales of "going to practice" and how his game is really coming along and improving.

I have absolutely no advice, but a couple questions.

How good is he at basketball? Obviously the NBA is completely out, but is he at least one of the better guys at the local pickup game or does he suck even there or what? Same with the hot-body thing. Is he at least somewhat cut?

Have you ever talked to him about hot celebrities? I'm curious if he goes for chicks that look extremely young even in his fantasies or if he might go for something old and used like Salma Hayek or the current Ms. OOT Kate Beckinsale.

In conclusion, your friend is a comic genius.

Not sure if that incident was a turning point (i highly doubt it, didn't seem to bother him much after the fact). He's really turned off by alcohol and drinking in general. I recall him saying he does not need alcohol to have a good time and all who do are shallow. Yet, he's never tried a beer or any mixed drink just to see what all the fuss is about (never been drunk or experienced anything to that nature).

In his mind, a college party or the bar scene is full of women who are only looking to get drunk and have sex with random dudes (even though this is never 100% true, some yes, but most no) - this insults him and he clearly wants nothing to do with them. I think the overall interest in younger women stems from the philosophy that once they go off to college or become 21 they are long gone and or corrupted, so the key is to get them while they're pure before they have a chance to corrupt themselves. I've had many conversations with him on this subject and have tried to sway his views (tried to get him not to be so judgmental) but i've always failed - in the end they are 'all still used bar sluts'.

I think the above ideals are followed to a T in his every day life. I think this has significantly contributed to the fact that he has never gone on a real date with a woman. The overly un-realistic views never fade and judgments are made of every woman he sees ultimately realizing she's not good enough for him because of her flaws. He goes on with his daily life without a hitch and because of these views and the general way he chooses to live his life he may be single forever.

I dont think our close nit group of friends (which has began to fade away over time) had ever wronged him. We always supported him and then when it came time to have real talks with him about career choices/women/getting out in the real world he never seemed to care and always pushed his views and continued on living his life. I think a lot of it has to do with a combination his faith, the non-pressure from his immediate family and success stories of ppl who went from zeros to heroes.

Talk more about the non-pressure of his family and how generally tolerant they are of this nut-job. Also talk more about his overall faith. I am assuming he is pretty over the top with his religion and that perhaps his family is too.

thread is A+

How common do you think people like this are? Anecdotal evidence almost certainly understates this, because these people have fewer friends on average (meaning they're less likely to be your friend).

He's a tall lanky guy never could sustain an ideal weight of over 200lbs. I remember a few years back stating once he got to 200lbs it was going to be 'all over' for the competition. Well he got to 200 and nothing really changed. He reached his potential about 12 years ago but has still tried to find ways to improve. He isn't a bad player, he just isn't a really good player - he's been fine tuning his game pretty much for the past 20 years however he never made the cut in Middle school or High School. Was cut 6 years in a row from tryouts. Looking back on this now, i know this affected him in a negative way - always wanting/needing to prove everyone wrong that he was good enough and to prove all those ignorant coaches wrong. But the fact is, he was never a very athletic/coordinated person...not fast, maybe a little clumsy and sluggish (could shoot well and play decent D) but could hardly hit a softball at the batting cages (weird awkward swing, i.e. not very athletic).

I recall back when we were SR's in High School he went to the summer basketball camp that our HS held every summer. Basically, if you wanted to have a chance to make the team that year, you showed up at this camp (100 bucks to register etc). Anyway he went every year including SR year. This camp is mainly for Freshmen/Sophomores who are trying to get noticed by the coaches, no Seniors ever show up because they're already established and on the team. My buddy was the only SR at this camp, mouth piece and all, and basically unleashed the fury on some 14-15 year olds (think of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer joins a kids karate class and kicks their asses). I am surprised the coaches allowed him to stay but i have a feeling they didnt know how to ask him to leave. He was convinced that with his showing he'd make the varsity that year. I recall him being proud of his accomplishments, being the leading scorer etc and not realizing that the reality of it was he just beat up on some little kids.