Yeah, what this guy needs is advice on how to better his chances of making the NBA.

Honestly, he needs to see a psychiatrist. Sounds like he has aspergers or something. Could you convince him to get an evaluation?

I don't have to pay you anything if I use this guy in my book do I?

At least he had a skiing accident.

this guy sounds awesomely hilarious. Call up some tv networks and try to get him a tv show. People love watching stuff that makes them feel better about themselves.

grunching. i would get him a hooker. proly send him hookers every couple days.

is this normal? or is it everyone 25 and over that isnt allowed in based on id?

because if its specifically him then i would be worried

btw solution seems to me to be:

- he wants to be a well known hero
- he wants to do something in basketball

....

sports journalism?

get in to a journalism course, start working, and have those delusions about nbc?

+1

OP, moar stories plz

Another story that comes to mind:

Out on a spring break vacation Texas (same as one in previous post) there was a Hot Body contest for dudes (sort of like a wet t-shirt contest but for dudes - it's for the chicks). Anyway, my friend decides he is going to enter this competition because he believes he has the best body there. Little did he know that the competition was full of dudes that are completely ripped and or look like they are on roids (had he known he still would have joined). So there is my friend standing on this stage infront of over a thousand ppl looking completely 100% confident (I kid you not). They call his name out first or 2nd (cant remember) and he does some dance and takes his shirt off, twirls it around in the air and tosses it into the crowd. Crowd full of women and some dudes basically laughing and booing hardcore at my friend and the MC makes a few dumb jokes and they move onto the next guy.

So for the next 5-10 minutes of this competition my friend now looking pretty uncomfortable/shirtless/embarrassed just sticks it out and stays on stage while these other roided out dudes take their shirts off and get cheers. We're just in awe and shock, utter disbelief that he had the courage to go on stage, get booed hardcore, and stay up there. At the end they did a recap of all the ppl and once again he got booed and laughed at....came off stage when it was over and was shocked/pissed off at all the haters. And we were all like, man we told you not to go up there, big mistake. Later on i think he was talking to a few random girls on the beach telling them he was in the hot body competition, they recognized who he was and i think the convo's ended rather quickly.

The thing here is i believe he truly believed he could win the competition and or get the most cheers - even though we all knew he was not going to win/get cheers. Some ppl would enter it as a joke to make their friends laugh for looking like a dumbass but my friend was doing it for other reasons i.e. to impress girls but was too oblivious to realize this was not a good idea. It's like being drunk and doing something that seems like a great idea (when youre drunk) but in reality is really a dumb, dumb idea.

To be fair your friend has some ****ing cojones.

Big time bro

friend has total lacking of self-awareness it seems. really strange. not convinced he's as smart as you think he is. Psych help seems warranted.

Also, I don't understand why you haven't yelled at him about his life in general and lack of job, etc. When he babbles about the Camaro stuff I wouldn't be able to just NOT say something about how ridiculous he's being.

Heart-to-heart talk where you tell him he's a good friend but you are concerned about his life direction (or something similarly emo like that)? I guess it's just ANOTHER intervention and you've already tried that before. But I'm at a loss here. Think you should keep pounding away on how lame he's being and that he shouldn't be striving for a Camaro (right now...with no money) nor an NBA career.

It sounds like your friend is ballin' outta control

It really is truly weird how he can still rationalize this NBA career at age 30. Seriously. Stories like Kurt Warner going from bagging groceries to winning the Super Bowl are probably working against him.

Of course, Kurt's grocery-bagging job was still more respectable than what your friend is doing...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhah ahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahhahahahahahahhaahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahhahahahaha

so true

bonque

This is so awesome

lol

i don't think these stories make any difference. he's deluded. whether or not there's any quasi-logical reason for his delusion is irrelevant.

re: 'getting face' - this is just the same as his NBA dream - he's working on something that's totally irrelevant.

lol omg this guy is epic. Not sure if he had a tv show and you made an episode out of the spring break thing, it would even be believable.

this

Look the dude is obviously autie/Aspie as a mother****er and has a big thick shield of extremely nonstandard priorities / ideas about the world between him and everybody else. Discarding that at the age of 30 is going to be incredibly painful and anxiety-inducing. I almost want to say it might not even be worth it, but what's the alternative? Sounds like a total implosion of his inner life and a trip to a padded cell in the not too distant future, either way.

Yah I mean that spring break thing just seems sooo out of character for someone like that. I wonder if that incident secretly scars him to this day into not going out and stuff.

Anyone else picturing the guy like he is 17?

Whenever I try to imagine some of the stories, I think of a high school guy.

why would you want to change someone who is the coolest ****ing person ever to live?

but seriously, i think that's the problem. he clearly doesn't think rationally (see spring break story, basically all the points about him). sounds like a situation where a professional is needed (therapist obv), but it's tough (as it likely always is in this type of situation) bc the guy clearly doesn't think anything is wrong with him.

anyways, the way i'm picturing the guy is hilarious, but likely far different from reality - i imagine him wearing an orange headband and a uniform like will ferrel's in his bball movie, dribbling the ball in his living room in front of the TV in the style of the white guys from the 1950s while his mom sits on the couch smoking a cigarette with curlers in her hair. i picture him going to the gym and playing pick-up SO serious - being really focused on boxing out and setting screens, and demanding the ball in the "clutch" moments. after the game, while everyone is sitting around shooting the ****, he's either running endlines or working on defensive slides or something. i don't mean to be a dickhead cuz i get OP is trying to help, but surely i can't be the only one to picture this?

Well, with that kind of WIM, how do you not get a ten day contract, really.