Johnny,

Was the hatch that was open sticking out of the garage door opening, leading to the garage door hitting it? Here is an ms paint that you should have already provided, but woteva:

Hence my question.

I didn't realize van woman was doing some kind of Richard Simmons home workout at the time of the incident.

That's Johnny's wife dumass.

Well then where's van woman? And is she hotter than Johnny's wife?

Van woman has a gunt and back boobs and those don't translate well to ms paint.

Hey give her a break, she has a prescription opioid addiction and her psychopath husband beat her up just because there was a tiny scratch on their van.

my neighbor leaves their garage door open a lot, sometimes even overnight in winter. makes me feel good because if anyone decides to rob in my neighborhood it'll probably be them before me

hnnnnnnnnnng

God damn it! That ms paint post (first-rate btw) prompted more questions from me to Mrs. T including a re-enactment in our garage, and none of the answers look good for her.

Me-Does this picture look accurate?
Mrs.T-Yes.

Me-You mean the ass end of the van was sticking out and would have been hit even if the gate was down?!?
Mrs.T- No, when the gate is down the door closed.

Me-Um...then the picture is not accurate. What part of the garage door hit the gate, the bottom or some hinge?
Her-IDK

We went and looked in our garage and there is no way what she is saying makes sense unless their door is entirely different than ours. She says it is, it is like one she has never seen before that is a much flatter kind, whatever the **** that means.

I abandoned all hope of getting a usable information for a more accurate MS paint at that point and moved onto the other important factors.

Me-They want to know if she is hotter than you.
Her- IDK

Me-CAN IT! You know. is she hot or not!?!?
Her-I think she's a beautiful lady.

Me...........
Her-she looks like me. She's a little Vietnamese lady.

Me-....well who is stronger?
Her-I am for sure.

Me-DSEL?
Her-No, not anymore

Me-Who would win in a fight?
Her-IDK!

Me-What, do you like her or something??
Her-I think she's a nice sweet lady...

Me-God damn it!! If you had to fight her would you kick her ass or not!?!?
Her-She was in the military, so IDK...I'll show you her picture on FB

Shows me a picture of basically her stunt double, who BTW it turns out I have ****ing met before and she is a nice, sweet and yes, beautiful lady, ffs.

Me-Well what about her husband, is he a nice fella too or something?!?!
Her-Yeah, he seems nice and funny.

Me-Funny?!!? ****. Who would win in a fight, me or him?
Her-He was in the military, and he is taller than you (everyone in this city is taller than me except her and vanwife, but the implication of this answer is clear af) *shows me picture of dude who could pretty clearly kick my ass.

So there you have it. We are the beta couple who damages other's property through neglect, never served our country, and have no respect for our own belongings so are unable to appreciate people who do. I'll get the checkbook.

I was thoroughly mystified by a lot until now, but this explains everything.

JT please do an MS Paint of the other couple and of y'all if you have time. After writing the check of course.

Make sure to toss in an extra $500 to avoid any awkwardness down the road.

Also forgot, I asked her about the height of the garage door button and she said it was actually pretty high up. The thing about my wife is she is athletic. She has an impressive verticle leap by percentage of height, so she can jump higher than Shaq.

That seems like a stretch.

Garage door difference: maybe one solid piece of wood/metal vs door made of a number of segmented "slats"? If so, it could very well move at a different angle.

Mad skillz, 27!

Yeah, my parents have a single panel that closes at an angle that comes deeper into the garage then the standard multi panel door.

Same. Had a 2-car side and a 1-car side. Always felt when one of the springs let go, it could kill hundreds

Great writeup! Lol'ed irl multiple times. Perfect amount of self-deprecation at the end.

Also, great mspaint that inspired it.

*that it inspired.

Crazy tale otherwise.

No biggie, and yes, the OP inspired the mspaint, but the mspaint is what inspired the most recent JT writeup, which is what I was referring to.

/nit

being a single panel wouldnt effect where the bottom of the door is tho. it MIGHT let part of the door come in lower, but if the bottom hit it, it'd be the same. if the hatch were up, it shouldnt matter

FTR the intent was to show the minivan completely in the garage and the open hatch extending outside the opening. I got sidetracked finding an appropriate Mrs. T.

I have a feeling you better be prepared to show your work in an MSpaint.


This is what I thought the situation was from Johnny's description. Had the van actually been parked as shown in your MSpaint, where the door would have hit it even with the hatch closed, it would be 100% the van owner's fault. Discuss