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View Poll Results: What to do
Say nothing 24 33.80%
Say something 32 45.07%
lol fats 15 21.13%
jfc chop 0 0%
Voters: 71. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 09-12-2017, 01:08 PM   #51
Didace
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

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Originally Posted by Chippa58 View Post
I would bring it up, but not make it directly about him. Like for example, you could say "I decided to stop sugary drinks last week and I've already lost four pounds". Or "working out isn't helping me lose that much weight, I gotta fix my diet." See how he reacts to the general topic of weight loss, and this will help you know whether to move forward.
I forget, you're a woman, right?
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Old 09-12-2017, 01:10 PM   #52
Tom Ames
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

"Don't expect me to be a pallbearer unless there are going to be eight of us!"
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Old 09-12-2017, 01:15 PM   #53
Chippa58
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

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I forget, you're a woman, right?
Hahaha. No. But I must think like one from time to time. I guess.
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Old 09-12-2017, 03:30 PM   #54
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

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Originally Posted by El Diablo View Post
Phat, mag:

Of course totally fine for chop to say something (I wouldn't in the type of casual friendship level he's described), but if he doesn't say anything it's nbd imo. I don't get the idea of torment and regret if he dies. If only I would have told him he's turned into a huge 400lb fatass and that's unhealthy, if only someone would have let him know that!
The problem is that in today's PC world some fat people come to believe that it's "just how they are" and if you fat-shame someone you are being insensitive by attacking someone's nature and the health aspect of it is ignored. So if this guy lives alone and doesn't get much feedback, he could build up this delusional self-image.
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Old 09-12-2017, 04:42 PM   #55
mitsi
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

Fat shame him

Last edited by mitsi; 09-12-2017 at 04:43 PM. Reason: Obesity is a disease lol
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Old 09-12-2017, 04:57 PM   #56
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

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Originally Posted by Rexx14 View Post
What realistic chance do you think that after you speaking to him he will suddenly decide to lose weight? Do you think he has had family members/doctors in the past speak to him about his weight?
1. Any non-zero increase in that chance is fine by me. Even if I only bump it from 1% to 2%, that's still a 100% increase.
2. Definitely, assuming he had a physical in the last year.


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Originally Posted by goofball View Post
I think if he agrees then you suggest specific actions right then before he has a chance to let time go by without him doing anything.
Yeah my default is going to be mfp unless I come up with something better. He's not the type to go for a prop bet.


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Originally Posted by amead View Post
Do you honestly think a 400+ pound guy is so close to starting an unbelievably difficult change to his entire lifestyle that a casual mention of being fat by a friend is going to jump start him into action
I don't know where he is. I do know he's succeeded once before, so he has it in him to solve this. Getting a little push from someone he knows cares about him may be useless, but it may also help. I don't think it's likely to hurt much, if any. He might be right on the edge and just needs a small bit of encouragement. What if I could be that encouragement but I don't say anything?


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Originally Posted by revots33 View Post
Guy is in his 40s - any wife/kids?
No kids, long term gf he lives with. She's normal weight.
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Old 09-12-2017, 05:20 PM   #57
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

he knows hes obese, he knows all the risk that come with it, its not like telling him is going to make him realize it. Its like being a drug addict, hes got to be the one who wants to lose the weight.

You can offer to exercise with him, at least maybe get the ball rolling.....but unless you are willing to do that kind of commitment (dunno if you are able to, like if hes even near you location wise) then there isnt much point.
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Old 09-12-2017, 08:40 PM   #58
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

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Originally Posted by THAY3R View Post
The answer to "I'm concerned about my friend, should I say something?" is almost always "YES. Absolutely."
You love your friend. You are worried about your friend. Tell him that, then offer your help.
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Old 09-13-2017, 12:17 AM   #59
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

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You love your friend. You are worried about your friend. Tell him that, then offer your help.
Ppppffffffffffttttttt

Like it could ever be that simple
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Old 09-13-2017, 04:06 AM   #60
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

"You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC."
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Old 09-13-2017, 06:31 AM   #61
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

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40 too long?
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Old 09-13-2017, 08:22 AM   #62
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

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"You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC."
You're so fat the fire department gets a call when you burn calories
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Old 09-13-2017, 08:39 AM   #63
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

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Old 09-13-2017, 11:18 AM   #64
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

On the other side of the equation, and I've had friends mention it to me, and not irregularly.

Part of the question's answer comes down to what motivates your friend - my friends mentioning it does nothing because I don't respond to peer pressure, but others this would have significant impact on. I'd be much more likely to respond well to a friend saying "let's go out and do physical activity X" than "you should hit the gym more".

If you're really concerned, find the trigger that causes him to eat so poorly and help him resolve it.

In the end, saying something off the cuff or trying to resolve this in a conversation isn't going to accomplish anything - not moving from 1% to 2%, nothing, except maybe making you feel a little better about yourself if he does keel over.
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Old 09-13-2017, 12:00 PM   #65
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

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Originally Posted by chopstick View Post
If I say something, what do I say?
One day when he seems to be having a good day ask him, "Did you lose some weight? You look good."

Maybe it will plant a thought in his head.
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Old 09-13-2017, 12:31 PM   #66
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

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Originally Posted by Alobar View Post
he knows hes obese, he knows all the risk that come with it, its not like telling him is going to make him realize it. Its like being a drug addict, hes got to be the one who wants to lose the weight.

You can offer to exercise with him, at least maybe get the ball rolling.....but unless you are willing to do that kind of commitment (dunno if you are able to, like if hes even near you location wise) then there isnt much point.
Have you considered how often addicts of all types are lonely destroying themselves and could really use a friend letting them know that they care
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Old 09-13-2017, 12:37 PM   #67
amead
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

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Originally Posted by businessdude View Post
The problem is that in today's PC world some fat people come to believe that it's "just how they are" and if you fat-shame someone you are being insensitive by attacking someone's nature and the health aspect of it is ignored. So if this guy lives alone and doesn't get much feedback, he could build up this delusional self-image.
There is literally zero chance that a 400 pound morbidly obese dude has been deluded by "today's PC world" such that they don't realize it is very, very bad.
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Old 09-13-2017, 01:08 PM   #68
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

"No one's going to want to blow you at that weight."

Then wink and downplay the awkward silence. Don't make it weird. Next time you see him, if he's dropped a hundred pounds, you'll finally know what he's been hiding all these years.
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Old 09-13-2017, 06:40 PM   #69
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

today i told my wife she's fat and she got mad. not exactly, but i said, "i wanna titty-**** you before you get thin, your boobs are gonna shrink." which i would argue is not exactly the same thing but i get her point.

i'll report back and let you guys know if this episode causes her to lose weight.
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Old 09-13-2017, 06:55 PM   #70
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

If you are close, why can't you say anything?

My best friend and I keep each other in check all the time if we notice the other drinking too much or gaining a lot of weight. Take him out and be like "Dude, what's going on? You are gaining weight and that's not normally like you." or some BS like that. You don't have to make it an intervention or act all solemn about it.
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Old 09-13-2017, 09:16 PM   #71
golddog
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

First, I read the last poll answer as "jfc chop (as in the blinds)", not "jfc chop<stick>". I was trying to figure out what a chop is in this situation.

Anyway, my older brother was very much like that, except a very heavy smoker as well. When visiting him once, I tried to get him off his ass. "Let's walk down to the mailbox and back. Maybe tomorrow we'll go to the end of the block."

He just wasn't interested/claimed he wasn't able to, and got worse until the inevitable at 41.

I kind of felt as if he was living the life he wanted to, and would've changed had he really wanted to. So I tried, but ultimately the work has to be on him.

I don't know if you have any way to try to get him motivated to start doing some light exercise, but maybe that's an approach?

Agree with the other posters who've said you should say something. Best of luck to your friend.
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Old 09-13-2017, 11:14 PM   #72
p2 dog, p2
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

Quote:
Originally Posted by augie_ View Post
today i told my wife she's fat and she got mad. not exactly, but i said, "i wanna titty-**** you before you get thin, your boobs are gonna shrink." which i would argue is not exactly the same thing but i get her point.

i'll report back and let you guys know if this episode causes her to lose weight.
pics or it didnt happen
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Old 09-14-2017, 12:52 AM   #73
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

The truth is the only way to get somoene in a situation like this to change would be extreme actions, that are contingent on his personality.

For example if he has a weak personality and is dependent on your friendship and the thought of losing you as a friend is devastating, then you could take an extremely aggressive approach with him.

It all depends on two things,

1) What kind of person is he

2) How much does this really matter to you and how far would you be willing to go if it meant him getting into better shape?
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Old 09-14-2017, 01:56 AM   #74
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

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Originally Posted by Didace View Post
This is a great strategy - Hey fatty. I just spent money entering you in a bike race. Better get to work!
Send him my way. I'll get him fighting fit!
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Old 09-14-2017, 02:41 AM   #75
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Re: What (if anything) do you say to your morbidly obese friend?

Make a friendly wager on weight loss after busting his chops a little.
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