Chop,

What realistic chance do you think that after you speaking to him he will suddenly decide to lose weight? Do you think he has had family members/doctors in the past speak to him about his weight? Is there someone in your group who used to be big and lost a lot of weight because they would probably be better received than you would be as long as they weren't totally socially inept.

This is an area I am quite intrigued about. Are there studies which evaluate whether it is considered productive speaking to people about their weight? I do have a few friends of Asian background who would never dare get overweight due to the ridicule they would be subject to if they did.

The answer to "I'm concerned about my friend, should I say something?" is almost always "YES. Absolutely."

For the record my ears are burning, you dick.

I really think mentioning this between two good male friends shouldn't be a problem at all.

Say nothing but do something.


I recommend force feeding him canned spaghetti until he keels over. At that point kick him in the stomach until he bursts. Problem solved.

Friend,
I want to help. Is there anything I/we can do? Is there anything you want to talk about?
If you don't want help, fine. I'm not going to bring it up again. If you change your mind, all you have to do is ask.

Now where is my beer.

Sounds like your friend has a slow metabolism, so it's not his fault he got fat.

Chop,

I think if he agrees then you suggest specific actions right then before he has a chance to let time go by without him doing anything. e.g. you can suggest logging on mfp together or setting up a wager or working out or whatever you're up for.

Buy some of those awful fat girl porn magazines and show them to him. Have a good laugh with him while you're doing it but then finish it off by saying, "By the way, these are the only types of chicks that you'll ever be able to get, you fat piece of crap."

On a slightly more serious note, you can never get someone to do something for themselves. The individual has to decide for themselves and usually only after they've hit rock bottom. But what you can do in this situation is to not ignore what's going on. Ignoring the situation enables them to keep avoiding it themselves. The more socially comfortable you make it for them, the less likely they are to wake up one morning and say enough is enough.

So yeah, every time you see the guy you give him grief for being a giant tub of lard. You want to slowly kill yourself by becoming morbidly obese? Fine, but don't expect me to walk around whistling Dixie and ignoring the literal elephant in the room.

sux to have a friend get lost in the fold.

Bolt down a lathe in front of his fridge

Do you honestly think a 400+ pound guy is so close to starting an unbelievably difficult change to his entire lifestyle that a casual mention of being fat by a friend is going to jump start him into action?

My guess is that he isn't one instance of getting called out by a friend for being fat away from picking up the baby carrots.

If he really is a close friend, I'm sure he'll get very uncomfortable, agree that he should really do something about it (because like he certainly knows that being obese isn't good without you dropping that knowledge bomb), and mostly carry on as usual.

Some good advice here https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/s...php?p=52830873

Guy is in his 40s - any wife/kids? I'm guessing no, but if so the "do it for your family, they need you" guilt angle might be effective.

But if you only see him once or twice a year, and you doubt he will get mad, I can't see the harm in saying something. Just pose it in terms of your concern for his health, we're not getting any younger, gotta take care of ourselves, etc. Make sure it's not about his appearance but strictly concern for his health.

Have you tried hitting him?

You don't be a pussy and tell him the truth. I have a friend that is a degen drinker, I tell him he's going to die from it. I have a friend that is a pack a day smoker, I tell him he's going to die from it. I have a friend that is obese, I tell him he's gonna die from it.



You tell you friend the truth, that he's just another ultra consumer and he needs to rewire his brain for better habits with meditation and affirmations. If you don't tell you friend.... you don't really care about them imo. This is the 21st century slaver in 1st world countries, get a kid hooked young and you have someone that is dependent on you product till their body falls apart from it.



DON'T BE ANOTHER CONSUMER SLAVE.... honestly if you want some real opinions on health this aint the forum, this is degen central

Say something

I think you have to be careful, but if you truly care about the person you have to do what you feel is best. I think a lot of people that pic Say nothing are because they are thinking more about self preservation. What if he gets angry? What if he doesn't want to be my friend?

In these situations, I try to put myself in the other person's shoes. What I want other people to do? If I was being cheated on or if someone knew that I was going to get fired from my job or some other bad news that is not nice to hear, would I want a friend to tell me? The answer for me is always yes.

Was going to post this. I think there is a decent chance it helps though.

Phat, mag:

Of course totally fine for chop to say something (I wouldn't in the type of casual friendship level he's described), but if he doesn't say anything it's nbd imo. I don't get the idea of torment and regret if he dies. If only I would have told him he's turned into a huge 400lb fatass and that's unhealthy, if only someone would have let him know that!

I would absolutely say something in the nicest way possible. I don't see the major issue. If he takes it to heart, great. If not, at least you tried.

Make jokes about his weight until he sheds it off.

One of the important features of having friends is that you can say to them what you wouldn't to strangers.

I would bring it up, but not make it directly about him. Like for example, you could say "I decided to stop sugary drinks last week and I've already lost four pounds". Or "working out isn't helping me lose that much weight, I gotta fix my diet." See how he reacts to the general topic of weight loss, and this will help you know whether to move forward.

I just don't get what the confront camp thinks the point of their message is. If the dude is legitimately 400 pounds, I imagine that he thinks about his weight several times every waking hour of his life.

I think we can rest assured that he realizes he is super fat and having that pointed out to him by a friend isn't going to illuminate the light bulb of knowledge that morbid obesity is bad.

Sure, if he laments not being able to get some weight off, by all means be supportive and help keep him motivated and all that jazz.