I don't get it. You thought it was normal to stumble over a trash can until you found out it was considered laughable? Also, was the guy who showed children porn your High School principal's brother, or was this your dad's brother?

Also, is mentioning that you grew 8 inches in one summer, then saying it was the reason you tripped over a trashcan a HumbleBrag?

I thought it was normal for every family in America to celebrate T-giving until I found out my Mexican friend did not. He kept calling me on Thanksgiving wanting to go do something "Everything's closed man I'm bored as ****" I was like "It's Thanksgiving - aren't you eating?" "Nah man we're Mexican, why would we celebrate Thanksgiving?" Good point, Ricardo. You're only living here. Why celebrate it?

Meh, this one is pretty standard. I thought the Capitals played in Washington state for years. There's really no way to know. It's not like you can tell by shots from inside the arena, and you rarely hear any mention of the District of Columbia.

I burst out laughing

When I was probably about 11 or 12 years old, I saw the movie "Father of the Bride". In that movie, Franc is talking about the wedding arrangement and he says "I'd like to start with the cake." Except instead of cake he says "****".

I had no freaking clue what that word meant at that time (yes, super sheltered), but I thought it was really funny. So I would say it instead of "cake". I was at a friend's birthday party and said "Can I please have some ****", thinking I was really funny, and the mom scolded me and called my mom, and after getting laid into they realized I seriously had no idea.

I used to put paper down on my own toilet when I was a teenager. The only other person who used that toilet was my younger brother, as it was between our two bedrooms. One day he walked in on me as I was about to sit down and he's like "Dude, you put paper down on our own toilet?!" I immediately realized that, yeah, this was kind of absurd. I stopped doing it after that moment.

when i was really young like 8 or 9, all these signs popped up around the neighborhood saying "Fill Wanted"

i was over a friends house and decided fill must have been a really bad guy and asked the friends mother what fill did to be wanted all over town. it took like ten minutes for everyone to figure out wtf i was talking about.

in this same neighborhood every old person i ever knew used the term "zipper head" extensively. it wasn't considered offensive in any way and was usually an alternative to saying any swear words or whatever. i'm pretty sure even teachers at my high school would call kids it when they did something dumb. i didn't learn it was a racist term until college, when i felt it would be a good time to call my beirut partner a zipper head while we were playing against two asian chicks. fml.

Do you like fish sticks in your mouth?

Foreskin.

Well I guess it's sort of normal? I guess I still really don't know.

Growing up I thought that all babies were born by C-section (obviously because I was). Until that fateful day in 8th grade health class when the topic came up and I said, "wait, I thought babies got cut out of the mom's stomachs"....The looks on peoples faces was awesome because they learned that there's a thing called C-sections...

I thought walking down a hall and seeing trashcans in my path was normal until I started growing taller than the cans and they left my line of sight and i realized life changed and this was no longer normal. Kind of meta, I know.

And it's the former. My Ph.D. mother's retired Navy salty sea dog brother tried to make up for some of my sheltered living.

When i was asked by a teacher at age 7 some question related to the alphabet i quickly discovered i was the only person in the class who didnt know the order of letters, yet was reading at the age of a 10 year old and was one of the smartest in the class in other subjects. For some reason i just entirely skipped that stage at around 3 where kids learn the alphabet.

Also when i was really young, around 4, i asked my Aunt what it was like when everything was black and white.

They tell that to all the tards.

That was the point i decided to look up how to actually spell hindsight.

When I was really young I thought Anne Frank was my "Ant Frank." The kids in my Hebrew school class really laughed at me when I tried to brag about her.

Wow you must not have funny conversations, or tell your mother stories that are funny. Because this would have been a good one. She probably ordered soup before for breakfast if she was out with friends and she may have gotten the same thing as OP.

Did we just discover another one for you?

Ha, knew that was coming. Two parents from nyc, ant seemed fairly standard there with the accent.

Edit: Data to back it up! http://www4.uwm.edu/FLL/linguistics/...cmaps/q_1.html

I went to a predominantly jewish high school in LA, like 60-70% jewish. not many people were very serious about any religion, I was confused as **** the first year of college on Ash Wednesday.

I swear I thought there was a cult or something on campus. I guess I'd heard about it but didn't think anyone actually walked around with ash on their forehead so it took me a while to figure out what the hell everyone was doing.


also for some reason I pronounce rather as "rawther". absolutely no one in my family says this and I have no idea why I do. I was totally unaware that it was strange until someone pointed it out in high school.

I learned this too, when I was about....oh yeah, when I read your post. Jesus this is ****ing embarrassing.

Always pronounced 'omnipotent' incorrectly until last year when I was corrected in a sales mtg.

In high school our team traveled often to seek out better competition than was offered in Anchorage Ak. On our trips we had to stay one night with the corresponding player on the opposing team. I will never forget the night that this guys little sister puts her fork down, looks up at me, and asks the stupidest question I have EVER heard.

quote: 'so what I dont get is why Hawaii is so warm and tropical, Alaska is so cold, and Mexico is so warm?' Long silence at the table until I asked her to explain. Her reasoning was that they were all right next to each other so the climate difference was an anomaly.

At this point I was completely lost so she showed me her big laminated map from her bedroom. And sure enough, due to cutouts, Hawaii, Alaska, and Mexico were in a perfect row with Alaska being a floating Southern Pacific island.

I imagine this was her 'fateful, embarrassing' day.

PW

Not me but a friend of mine came over for dinner in high school. We had fried shrimp for the meal and my family all had the tails on their plates at the end, except for my friend, his plate was clean. We asked him where his tails were and he said that he ate them. He had no idea that people didn't eat them. In fact, he thought we were weird for not eating the tails.

I eat the tails on the very rare occasions I order fried shrimp. I also know several other people that do it.

i had a korean girlfriend in college who converted me to eating shrimp tails. when i first saw her do it i thought she was insane. they're actually pretty tasty, especially if fried. i'm pretty sure eating the tails (sometimes the entire shell/head too) is totally standard in most parts of asia.

Ah, much less interesting, I thought you were making out with a chick or something and her tits let out a fart noise, and you were like wtf, did you just queef?

How the hell do they get trapped air down there in the first place?