WAIT WAT?

Is that guy magic or something?

I do the exact same thing.

im sure this is +EV

I know roughly what you're saying, but can you give an example? I can't quite follow what you mean.

When I was little I would try to make an equation out of the time. e.g. 12:39 is (1+2)*3=9. Obviously only certain times can work.

at some point in my internets I started thinking "lol" when I see some random funny thing, pronouncing "lol" in my head.

whenever a naked female has her back to me I insta slap-ass at least once.
this has obviously happened with only girlfriends/"short-term" girlfriends, but I've noticed some years ago I can't help myself.

I am like 1.85 and strong, my gf is ~1.65 and skinny/kinda sensitive. she complains about it non stop and tells me it physically hurts, I still do it every single time.
the girlfriend before this one developed a reflex of 'jumping' whenever she was naked and turned back to me because she knew the slap was coming.

I find myself wondering what would happen if I was in the proctology business.


presumed relative in some biking contest:

when i eat oreos im literally unable to eat it as a whole. i must twist it apart.

I think I just found one. I absolutely had to convert that 1.85 and 1.65 so I knew what he meant. And I now realize that I do it every time I run into metric measurements, even if it's something I don't care about at all.

but you did care about my post, right?

Enough that I tried to figure out if I did that too, but not to the degree where precise heights were somehow required.

keep it real

I do this with microwave times. It's always 77 seconds, or 3:33, or whatever.

And I try to open the door exactly when the timer hits 0. If too early, there's still time left that has to be cleared, and if too late, the buzzer goes off, and I can't stand either of these things.

I can't not flush the toilet before I'm actually done pissing. I try to time it so that all my piss gets flushed but this has become surprisingly difficult and I usually end up flushing my toilet twice.

I also do the weird alarm clock/tv thing. I enjoy setting the alarm for weird times like 7:56 or something or 8:03. I think it has something to do with 8:03 feeling like 8 O'clock still yet being 3 more minutes to sleep. Or 7:56 makes it feel like I'm getting up early.

On the TV when I adjust the volume it HAS to be either a multiple of 5 or an even number.

So it could be 15, 16, 18, 20, 22, 24, 25, etc. I'll never set the sound at 17 or 23 or some crazy ****, even if it sounds like the most audibly optimal level. It's unsettling. I realize this is completely irrational as these numerical values are completely arbitrary and have nothing to do with sound level being "even" or not.

When watching televised golf:

- Whenever they show Jimmy Walker, I think, "DY-NO-MITE!"

- Whenever John Merrick makes a nice shot, I think, "He IS an animal!"

****ing animated gifs, how do they work

what amount?
i do this too. although i rarely microwave any of my food anymore so its not really a problem.
awesome.

whenever i see a license plate i will make the letters into an acronym and think of a phrase that fits it. it kind of excites me when its already a commonly used acronym like FTW or something.

i also count things, steps, noises, etc. this often leads to me saying things like "ya right that gun would be empty 6 shots ago" when watching movies.

always do the OCD pocket check whenever i go anywhere, get out of a car, etc. this has saved my ass many times on not losing my **** though.

whenever someone says a phrase that is a part of a song i have to sing that song. sometimes just a word can set me off.

Ya i do this too. Started after I lost my keys like 3 times in a year in middle school.

you had keys in middle school? for what?

latchkey kid obv.

Smashed the lightening bolt on AKSpartan.

Running hot!

I do the first one, and now I can't not do the second one!

When I come home from work, my work pants must come off immediately and I must change into shorts or sweat pants, depending on the season.

When I sit down to eat (especially dinner), I must have the TV on and a program that I am genuinely interested in playing (Tivo has made this obsession bearable).

+1 to both

This really wasn't a joke.