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Things you can't not do. Things you can't not do.

04-24-2011 , 12:44 PM
When I am told to be careful because something like a dish is hot, I must touch it to find find out how hot it really is.
Things you can't not do. Quote
04-24-2011 , 01:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SnotBoogy
when i am done with one sauce for pasta and open a second one to make the meal, i have to sing:

"meet the new sauce... same as the old sauce!"
wow, nice bump, and totally worth it just for this exchange:

Quote:
Originally Posted by MCB113
Everytime I right click on a Windows taskbar I can't not sing "Lock the taskbar" to the tune of "Rock the Casbah"
Quote:
Originally Posted by 27offsuit
You say it twice obv, right?
Quote:
Originally Posted by MCB113
Obv... and if I'm by myself maybe I'll throw in "He thinks it's not kosher"
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCanoe
Wow I hate you right now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 27offsuit
TheCanoe, he don't like it...
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04-24-2011 , 02:13 PM
first time through this thread, few comments:

i'm in the same boat with setting alarms for times not ending in 5 or 0, those intervals just aren't accurate enough. also for volume on TV/air conditioner setting I always always always go even number. Pro tip: try not to tell anyone irl this tic, because he or she will most likely **** with you.

I'm partial to the ones mentioned where someone can't not say some obscure quote with the proper prompt (NOT "that's what she said" holy **** can people stop saying this yet). It's one of those sorta-jokes that is somewhat funny the first time, not really funny the second third or fourth time, and extremely funny the fifth+ time.

My contributions: whenever I'm playing settlers of catan and someone says "2 brick" I can't not say, "2 brick... Stanley 2brick."

Whenever anyone mentions the movie Memento I can't not say "it wasn't as good the second time"

Last edited by Xkf; 04-24-2011 at 02:15 PM. Reason: tldr
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04-24-2011 , 02:16 PM
My old roommate could never finish a meal, regardless of size. He'd always leave the last bite.
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04-24-2011 , 02:23 PM
whenever id use a microwave id always press stop with 1 second left. eventually i just started adding 1 second to the time. the past few years i havent used a microwave till yesterday and when it was counting down to 5. it popped in my head to turn it off at 1 but i did not.
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04-24-2011 , 02:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by westhoff
whenever i get to a roundabout i always have to go around it an extra time, sometimes 2 or 3 times
Don't go to Milton Keynes.

When I drink a beer I can't not peel the label off.
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04-24-2011 , 04:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by westhoff View Post
whenever i get to a roundabout i always have to go around it an extra time, sometimes 2 or 3 times
This reminded me that whenever I hit one I usually say "Looks Kids, Parliament!"
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04-24-2011 , 05:27 PM
These aren't 100% every single time, but..

When I was 16 or 17 someone told me it was illegal to change lanes in an intersection. I think about this pretty much every time I drive at one point or another.

Joey made some stupid joke about where he last put the soap bar and where Chandler first puts the soap bar and I think of this most times I take a shower.

If I tuck my shirt in I can't not think of my Dad telling me to go inside the pants, but outside the underwear. I must have been 5 or 6 for that one.
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04-24-2011 , 06:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by YouWishFish
I always say WED-NES-DAY in my head when writing wednesday (just did it)
hah, same here.
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04-24-2011 , 06:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phildo
when i was a kid i had a hell of a time learning my right from my left but then i picked up some pretty wicked and distinctive scars on both wrists from putting my hands through a glass door when i was 6 or so. i started using the scars to differentiate right from left. even though i know which is which now i still reflexively look down at my wrists if someone says "to your left/right" or something similar.
I never got how people couldn't tell right from left. I had an ex gf who was a straight A student her senior year of high school but couldn't tell her left from her right still and had to wear a bracelet on her left hand to check.

Heck even a more recent ex would always confuse them when I would tell her to make a left or right handed turn whilst driving.

Women be tarded, yo.
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04-24-2011 , 07:34 PM
I can’t not…
-say “1 m, 2 r’s” when writing “tomorrow”
-check the locks of my car multiple times before leaving it
-push all of the plastic circles in on fast food cups
-leave the house with mascara on
-respond with “no, you’re not” when someone sarcastically says “I’m sorry” about anything
-repeat these sentences over and over again to see if they make sense
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04-24-2011 , 08:42 PM
Have to answer the phone after a whole number of rings.

ie. Will never let it go briiiing-briiiiiing-briiii-"Hello?"
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04-24-2011 , 09:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ineedaride2
Grunch


Feb-ru-ary.
It's Feb-U-ary....what's this "ru" business about?
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04-24-2011 , 09:12 PM
If I am stuck somewhere watching a WNBA game or women's college basketball game, and the end of the game has a dramatic finish where all the girls start jumping on each other and crying, I always mentally say to myself, "Gonna be some pussy eatin' tonight"

Goes double if it is a women's softball game and the field is littered with thick pasty white girls with bad mullets.
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04-24-2011 , 09:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by n0tn0tAbe008
Have to answer the phone after a whole number of rings.

ie. Will never let it go briiiing-briiiiiing-briiii-"Hello?"
I'll always wait until after the second ring to pick up. Otherwise it might seem like I was waiting expectantly by the phone and I can't have that, even if I was. Less applicable now with cell phones though.
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04-24-2011 , 09:35 PM
When defecating in a public toilet I can't not wait until someone uses the hand dryer so no-one hears my farts....
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04-24-2011 , 09:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dann10
When defecating in a public toilet I can't not wait until someone uses the hand dryer so no-one hears my farts....
Over 1 year for this genius post
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04-24-2011 , 10:02 PM
When in a car and stopped for whatever with another vehicle in front of me, I add up the 4 numbers on the license plate in my head. If the total comes to 13 then I deem that car to be unlucky and the owner will be involved in a horrfic accident some time in the near future.

Last edited by n0tn0tAbe008; 04-24-2011 at 10:02 PM. Reason: not supersticious though
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04-24-2011 , 10:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by quirkasaurus
i can't not have a delicious pizza occasionally....
i can't not scream in agony and turn the channel whenever:

idiot metal music is playing underneat the sports highlights.
they have another idiot MONTAGE.
when the sports-announcer starts spewing some idiotic ( think Stuart Scott ) stat like: "Boob Gooberson has the best slugging percentage with 2 strikes against left-handers since Goob Booberson in 1889. In fact, it's the 32nd all time for right-handers with more than 300 plate appearances in the modern era!!!"
I feel ya... ESPN is is worthless since Disney bought it out.
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04-24-2011 , 10:06 PM
When playing pool I can't not say 'seen them missed' in relation to the potting of the black ball (8 ball) regardless of how easy the actual pot is...
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04-24-2011 , 10:39 PM
I can't not mutter "$46 per hour" under my breath any time anyone uses the phrase "at any rate".

I can't ever get a straw that is sheathed in paper without tearing off one end, and blowing on it to make the paper sheath fly off and hit whoever I'm eating with.
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04-24-2011 , 11:46 PM
whenever somebody explains to me some prank that happened to them or some **** that went down, i say "that old gag"
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04-25-2011 , 05:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sig3000
I cannot get out of my truck/leave the house without tapping my pockets and saying in my head " keys, wallet, phone,:" Used to be. "smokes, lighter, keys , wallet , phone." ...quit smoking brag. 2 years now.. took me longer to change my sing song saying.
Wow, I do EXACTLY this, wording and all, and sometimes even say it aloud!
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04-25-2011 , 08:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCanoe
I have to hit Esc every time I see AKSpartan posting in a thread to see what I get.

Spikey shell this time
You just changed my life, and I'm not sure it's for the better.
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04-25-2011 , 09:20 AM
Whenever I have a joke that misses, I'll say "quantity over quality" - it's become a running joke with my friends. I tend to be the cut-up. It started a few years ago on a date when I had this chick laughing a bunch and then missed on a joke, so I explained to her (jokingly) that people only think I'm funny because I make a LOT of jokes, not good ones.

If I let my stubble grow out, I pick at the chin hairs. Yuck.

I can't finish a cup of coffee.

I always listen to "First of the Month" by Bone Thugz every first of the month.

When I hear the name Craig, I always say "Crehhhg" like in Friday
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