when i go to the chive i can't not open all new posts in tabs before i start looking at one

I say "Lefty" in my head and usually out loud when I first notice a TV/movie character writing left-handed.

Cant eat pizza without turning it over and squashing it down into the plate/box

Get laughed at alot but all good

being a lefty myself, i always do this...cant help it. i notice if someone is left handed irl or on tv very quickly...its gets on some peoples nerves..

When driving I can't not chomp down my teeth in between divisor lines or guardrail posts.

I can't not fix things. My girlfriend hassles me about it. If We sit down in a restaurant and the table is wiggly, I'll adjust the legs. If I am at your house and the screws in your bathroom doorknob are loose, I'll tighten them. The drink case doors don't close properly in the convenience store, I realign them. I don't ask permission, I just do it, whether I know the owner or not.

Just little things, but it's the entire world, ALL THE TIME. I'm also designing and building things in my head non-stop. I'll see something that can be improved on and I'll mentally rebuild every little aspect of it until it's perfect. I lose sleep over it. I can't help it. I must have redesigned literally millions of parts/devices/structures in my lifetime.

I can't stop laughing. Feel assured I will think of you next time I see something like this. It'll be a while though because I can't not change the channel when I realize it's women playing sports.

Lol, I do these.

Is that to get rid of some of the pizza grease? Sometimes I dab a paper towel on the top of it if it's too greasy.

I can't not act like I have imaginary brakes when I'm on the passenger side of a car.

I can't not bitch and moan about how everyone on the road are terrible and selfish drivers.

together I spell out TO GET HER

Can't not put my ring, middle, and index finger on WASD when sitting at the comp...probably super standard for all FPS players.

I do this exact thing except only with windshield wipers. Its like a giant laser beam but it must not hit pylons! Only between.

Its weird seeing several people say they also do this. I actually would have thought I might be quite literally the only person in the world who always did this. Shows what I know about people.

This is like the time I found out I didn't invent the game the floor is made of lava. At school we had a discussion turned out everyone, not one exception played it. I thought I was a damn genius.

I can't not put some toilet paper down pre-dump. This is to cushion the blow of the turd landing in the bowl so a significant plop is not heard. Standard or weird?

Took me years to stop doing this.

When looking at the windows screen etc I have to drag little selection boxes around icons constantly.

I must set my alarm on anything that is divisible by 5.

Everytime I scratch my balls I smell my hand afterwards

I can't not...

Look at a mirror every time I put a hat on out of some fear that it will be crooked even though it's fine pre-mirror-look 100% of the time.

Say to myself "my pee bubbles look like an afro" every time I urinate.

Can't not have my hand down my pants when I'm alone at my computer.

lolllllllllllll

It is verbally impossible for me to order a "Chicken Snack Wrap" at McDonald's. It ALWAYS comes out "Chicken Snap Rack" and I've just embraced it to either be funny, or for no one to notice.

wat?

It'll only make sense under the following circumstances:

1. You're standing up.
2. You're shooting into a standard toilet.
3. You're not power washing the sides.

If you aim towards the middle/back middle of the bowl your pee bubbles will form an afro that starts in the top middle and grows outward mid stream.

look at 27offsuit's avatar for 3+ seconds whenever he posts in a thread. and mimic the line, sometimes aloud sometimes not.

When showering I have to say out loud, "did all my front, all my back, neck, face, ears, feet, back, hair." If I don't I feel like I missed something.

When coming home from the grocery store I have to count all the items I bought, then count the number of prices on the receipt to confirm they match. Just looking at the "Number of items sold" on the receipt isn't good enough.

lolllllll wtf