+1. You said MN? As in the University of Minnesota? Did you tutor that one guy who was Muslim and now plays for the Palestinian National Team and is white?

I can't even tell you what a time segment in either basketball or football is called.

More than one school in the state.

Wasn't trying to imply otherwise. Only 1 D1 school in the state tho.

When people "can't" eat food that has touched other food on their plates. What the **** is that?!

When people are proud of their weird, baseless fears. ("Omg I'm terrified of clowns!")

When adults watch children's shows.

I believe those are called "seconds".

When people 1-up a story. Especially if it's not in any way as interesting a story as the original.

Example guy A: "Man I played golf yesterday and made my first ever eagle from the fairway but it was so ugly. I hit it thin and it skipped through the greenside bunker and rolled up onto the green and slammed into the pin for my first eagle ever. If it doesn't hit the flagstick it probably rolls into the bunker behind the green and I'm making bogey. I got really lucky but it counts."

guy B: "Ha - cool. Two months ago I made two eagles brah. One was a putt from 11 feet on a par 5 and the other was a putt from the fringe of a reachable par 4."

guy A: "Awesome."

Bonus points if guy B is doing that up-nod thing while he begins his story. The "dude, listen to this tale" nod.

The brah really elevates the obnoxiousness of guy B a lot more than brah usually does.

everyone's ****ing 'allergies'. you give people with real life-threatening allergies a bad name. f. u.

thats exactly what I said in the other thread, 95% of people claiming to have allergies just ****in suck .

I'm allergic to pollen.

Another thing that pisses me off that shouldn't is local eateries giving me a god damn credit card sized "rewards" card to lug around. HAY THANKS. 1 free meal after 10 is kinda nice. Carrying a punch card around is barely worth it in that case. But for the love of god why are you giving me a giant plastic swipeable card now!?

DIE BULLRITOS. It's enough to make me stop patronizing some place as my wallet already has too much bull**** in it. The gall of these ****ers thinking they deserve for people to carry a plastic card around for the foreseeable future.

if it cant kill you then you arent allergic imo

exactly. pollen allergies are the only acceptable allergy for joe blow to complain about. then take a claratin and move on.


i'm currently in the stfuparents years, so i get a lot of:

'oh mychayla is allergic to red dye#5 and bananas'.
no.

'garrett is allergic to milk."
what?! i just gave him a glass of milk 30 minutes ago.
'oh it's ok, he just gets a tummy ache'
oh. f. u.

but i also know someone who i almost watched die because someone walk by her holding a cake with almonds in it. her epi-pen saved her, which reminds me of a good rule of thumb: if you need to carry around an epi-pen, you've got ****ing allergies.

The term bottle service. Not even bottle service itself--just the string of words.

every single word of this post seconded. it's even worse with compulsive liars. you know when they pause for a second to make up the story as they go or feign laughter to buy a few extra seconds asdasfasfasfasfasf.

Not having a friend or acquaintance who is a compulsive liar

I am unhappy about this because I would enjoy sitting back and listening to their bs, then pick the best moment to call them out. Seems so easy in theory

You probably have a such a friend and just haven't figured it out yet.

Yeah, Clue, that reminds me--the other day, when we were hanging out, I caught Robert De Niro in a lie. You're missing out.

seriously though I would enjoy this. I'd want to join in on the feign laughter, and just as he starts talking cut him off, say something like "whoa whoa whoa are you sure you've got it all ready??"

totally but you know what's even worse..?

the worst form of that is when the stories involve how much people can drink. it typically ends with a guy who once killed a whole keg by himself during halftime just to warm up for taking shots.

There's a guy at work known for doing this and we all laugh regularly about it.

He told a story about how he went skydiving, but his shoot didn't open and he grabbed a couple geese on the way down to break his fall, and then later barbecued the geese.

Man I knew this bro Derrick, he was in our frat for 3 semesters before they kicked him out for grades - anyway my boy Derrick could out-drink anyone. I got so many stories but you wouldn't believe them if I told you. Anyway he drinks more than anyone you've ever seen - guaranteed. So, yeah. I just wanted you to know that. I've met someone who drinks more than anyone you've probably ever met. Isn't that cool?

Another irritating incarnate of that habit is when people have to one-up celebrity sightings/casual acquaintances. Even more annoying when the original mention was actually on topic, and the reply is just some random name-drop that pulls the conversation in a completely different direction.

These two posts.

So bogus. Swelling up painfully, or developing a nasty rash, from exposure is more than sufficient reason for me to claim allergies and excuse myself from situations.

F. U.