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Old 12-08-2018, 11:57 AM   #76
krunic
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

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Originally Posted by ElSapo View Post
Unfortunately, one thing I've realized is you can't really shortcut any of this stuff. The stuff you figure out as you get older, that was really the only way.
No, it's not at all the only way. Some people had ****ty parents and teachers who filled their heads with complete garbage and they have to spend their adulthood unlearning tons of **** before they can figure out what they should have learned in school or at home from their parents.
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Old 12-08-2018, 12:12 PM   #77
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

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This. Also I've been going to a great psychologist for 2+ years and wish I'd started sooner. Psychiatrists are very often quacks who just want to prescribe as much meds as possible, and have no formal training in talk therapy. Pyschologists have a wide range of techniques and styles, so the only problem with finding a good one is you might have to see a lot of different ones to figure out who's good for you.
Any advice on how to find a good one? Any particular styles you think are most effective? In theory the idea of seeing a psychologist regularly sounds awesome to me, but in practice I agree finding a good one is really difficult.
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Old 12-08-2018, 12:12 PM   #78
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Best thread ever
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Old 12-08-2018, 01:27 PM   #79
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

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Any advice on how to find a good one? Any particular styles you think are most effective? In theory the idea of seeing a psychologist regularly sounds awesome to me, but in practice I agree finding a good one is really difficult.
The most effective style is the one that's most effective for you. If you have a specific thing you need help with like OCD or PTSD then I would suggest looking for a therapist who specializes in that thing.

In general, the signs to look for in a good therapist are:

1. Someone you're completely comfortable saying anything to. You can tell them all of your deepest darkest secrets and thoughts and they'll react with nothing but compassion, non-judgement, and helpfulness and will adhere to the confidentiality agreement.

2. Someone who will not make you so comfortable as to never challenge you or call you out on your bull****. A good therapist won't waste their time with a client who doesn't make any effort to change. A good therapist won't just sit there and nod their head and make you feel special.

3. As with any person you're paying to do anything, look for general signs of professionalism. I once went to a therapist whose office was a complete mess. Tons of books and papers stacked up all over her desk and the floor. I've heard of therapists who bring their dogs to work with them and allow the dogs to run around during sessions. I've heard of therapists who develop personal relationships with clients and then want to hang out with them outside of sessions.

4. Look for a therapist who is focused on you and what you need and won't project their own **** onto you. Some therapists get into the profession for all the wrong reasons. They're trying to give themselves treatment by talking to other people and getting paid doing it. It's a huge red flag if your therapist tells a lot of personal stories or details about their own life.
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Old 12-08-2018, 03:52 PM   #80
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

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The most effective style is the one that's most effective for you. If you have a specific thing you need help with like OCD or PTSD then I would suggest looking for a therapist who specializes in that thing.



In general, the signs to look for in a good therapist are:



1. Someone you're completely comfortable saying anything to. You can tell them all of your deepest darkest secrets and thoughts and they'll react with nothing but compassion, non-judgement, and helpfulness and will adhere to the confidentiality agreement.



2. Someone who will not make you so comfortable as to never challenge you or call you out on your bull****. A good therapist won't waste their time with a client who doesn't make any effort to change. A good therapist won't just sit there and nod their head and make you feel special.



3. As with any person you're paying to do anything, look for general signs of professionalism. I once went to a therapist whose office was a complete mess. Tons of books and papers stacked up all over her desk and the floor. I've heard of therapists who bring their dogs to work with them and allow the dogs to run around during sessions. I've heard of therapists who develop personal relationships with clients and then want to hang out with them outside of sessions.



4. Look for a therapist who is focused on you and what you need and won't project their own **** onto you. Some therapists get into the profession for all the wrong reasons. They're trying to give themselves treatment by talking to other people and getting paid doing it. It's a huge red flag if your therapist tells a lot of personal stories or details about their own life.


This is a grate poast and you should feel grate. Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life
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Old 12-08-2018, 06:48 PM   #81
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Toilet paper < bidet < butt hose. Thailand figured this out long ago. I'm eternally thankful to have discovered this, especially after spicy food.
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Old 12-08-2018, 06:52 PM   #82
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Today I learned that some people are too frail to eat crackers without hurting themselves.
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Old 12-08-2018, 08:17 PM   #83
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

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I wish in my early 20s someone hard warned me "You are going to spend the next decade+ CONSTANTLY going to weddings. You better learn to get used to it". Because I never envisioned thats what was going to happen, and I ****ing hate weddings.
The #1 reason I had kids:
"Sorry, I really wish I could make it to your wedding but we don't have anyone to watch the kids. Hope we can make your next one!"
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Old 12-08-2018, 08:36 PM   #84
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

oh god, I wish I had thought of that, I totally would have knocked someone up!
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Old 12-08-2018, 08:37 PM   #85
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

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Toilet paper < bidet < butt hose. Thailand figured this out long ago. I'm eternally thankful to have discovered this, especially after spicy food.
wow, I thought butt hose was made up, so I had to google it. I had never heard of this thing
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Old 12-08-2018, 08:47 PM   #86
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

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The #1 reason I had kids:
"Sorry, I really wish I could make it to your wedding but we don't have anyone to watch the kids. Hope we can make your next one!"
lol, reminds me when my parents told me my super angry bipolar uncle was getting married for the 2nd time and I was invited. I said no thanks it would be kind of a waste of time because the over/under on that marriage is 2 years. They both looked at me like I was a terrible person. I don't remember how long it lasted, but he's currently on marriage #3.
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Old 12-08-2018, 09:09 PM   #87
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

When your daughter spend the night at Diane´s, it´s really the D-squad.
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Old 12-08-2018, 10:31 PM   #88
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

not to open this thread.

get with waaaaaay more girls in hs/college. give up sports 1 year sooner. dont quit a solid career cause you're used to people making more.
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Old 12-08-2018, 10:43 PM   #89
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

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Today I learned that some people are too frail to eat crackers without hurting themselves.
Legitimately made me laugh

I also find it both interesting and humorous that the top two topics of discussion in this thread appear to be money....and the best way to clean yourself after taking a dump.

On an unrelated note: I wish I had figured out sooner in life that that success vary rarely requires any kind of natural ability or higher than average intelligence. More often than not it simply comes down to practice and persistence. If you stick with it, eventually you'll succeed.
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Old 12-08-2018, 11:07 PM   #90
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Two things I really wish I would have realized sooner and had the wisdom/courage to follow through on:

Conquer your fears when you're young.

For many of life's big decisions, whatever it is that you don't want to do is what you should do. More often than not, the hard choice is the right choice.
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Old 12-09-2018, 01:23 AM   #91
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Two good ones in this thread despite all the nonsense:

Don't waste time with a ****ty job if it's making you hate your life (still learning this one)

If you want to figure something out, just try it. Failing is OK, not a reason to be shunned. Thanks dad!
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Old 12-09-2018, 01:24 AM   #92
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Also, you're going to make the decisions you want to make, don't beat yourself up over it if you're wrong. People will give you good advice, and bad advice...choose to follow it or don't. IT'S YOUR LIFE.

I believe we are here to learn
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Old 12-09-2018, 01:46 AM   #93
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

I was just about to post about lifelong learning Vincent! I think the desire to learn and be open to new things is actually something you need to embrace more as you get older. It's so easy to get complacent with life and get in a rut. Challenge yourself, keep trying and don't be too hard on yourself. Going to make that my new motto!
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Old 12-09-2018, 02:01 AM   #94
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Take an hour each day to work on yourself physically- weights, yoga, meditation - doent not matter.
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Old 12-09-2018, 02:07 AM   #95
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

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This. Also I've been going to a great psychologist for 2+ years and wish I'd started sooner. Psychiatrists are very often quacks who just want to prescribe as much meds as possible, and have no formal training in talk therapy. Pyschologists have a wide range of techniques and styles, so the only problem with finding a good one is you might have to see a lot of different ones to figure out who's good for you.

suzzer,

This triangle origami multi-wipe TP technique is the most insane thing I've ever heard since that thread where people talked about standing up to wipe as if it were normal.
I'm glad that you've found a therapist that works for you, but bolded is horse****. It's so obviously wrong, that even knowing nothing and just thinking about it for a couple of minutes should convince you of how absurd it is.

I'm pretty sure than any board certified psychiatrist has formal training in psychotherapy. Maybe they're mostly terrible at it (which is also quite unlikely, but I can see how your experiences may have biased you). But that's a different discussion.

I think there is at least one dude around here who posts who is a psychiatrist. Maybe he will happen upon this thread and set you straight. Or if you want to convince yourself can go to the certifying board's website and look around. I'm sure you'll find the info there.

Once again, I am legitimately glad that you've found a therapist that works for you.

Last edited by Melkerson; 12-09-2018 at 02:17 AM.
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Old 12-09-2018, 05:40 AM   #96
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

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Lol at your wiping history Suzzer. Never considered that anyone doesnt drop it straight into the toilet after the first swipe. Theres more paper just a reach away.
I know some people have dry rabbit poops. But some of us have nutella ****s sometimes - which require tons of wipes.

I think maybe I got in the habit of folding at work, where you don't want to be the guy pulling the squeaky TP reel infinitely. Or maybe at national parks and stuff where there's very little TP.

Btw if the first swipe is big and messy I don't fold. Same with that goopy Charmin paper. It's too thick. I like the thinner Scotts paper and folding works pretty well.
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Old 12-09-2018, 05:42 AM   #97
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

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Toilet paper < bidet < butt hose. Thailand figured this out long ago. I'm eternally thankful to have discovered this, especially after spicy food.
Most of the bathrooms I went to in Thailand had a buck of water and a dipper on a stick. I didn't even try to figure out how to use it.
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Old 12-09-2018, 05:44 AM   #98
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Thumbs up Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

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Originally Posted by VincentVega View Post
Two good ones in this thread despite all the nonsense:

Don't waste time with a ****ty job if it's making you hate your life (still learning this one)

If you want to figure something out, just try it. Failing is OK, not a reason to be shunned. Thanks dad!
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Old 12-09-2018, 05:55 AM   #99
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

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I'm glad that you've found a therapist that works for you, but bolded is horse****. It's so obviously wrong, that even knowing nothing and just thinking about it for a couple of minutes should convince you of how absurd it is.

I'm pretty sure than any board certified psychiatrist has formal training in psychotherapy. Maybe they're mostly terrible at it (which is also quite unlikely, but I can see how your experiences may have biased you). But that's a different discussion.

I think there is at least one dude around here who posts who is a psychiatrist. Maybe he will happen upon this thread and set you straight. Or if you want to convince yourself can go to the certifying board's website and look around. I'm sure you'll find the info there.

Once again, I am legitimately glad that you've found a therapist that works for you.
Getting my masters in psychology to be a therapist. Doesn't make me an expert tho. I know a few of each and he is right. A lot of psychiatrist have only had a couple classes related to psychotherapy and are not that qualified to "talk therapy". I'm not saying they are only good for prescribing meds, but if you are looking for someone to guide you through life troubles, is start with a somebody who is a psychologist, not psychiatrist.
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Old 12-09-2018, 05:56 AM   #100
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

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Most of the bathrooms I went to in Thailand had a buck of water and a dipper on a stick. I didn't even try to figure out how to use it.


Lol. Dude. You use that to flush.
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