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Old 12-07-2018, 03:00 AM   #1
suzzer99
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Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Title says it all.

I just discovered that if I put meat on one side of my cracker, and cheese on the other, the cracker is a lot less likely to scratch the inside of my mouth.

I've learned there are times I actually want to use my turn signal when jostling to get into an adjacent lane in LA freeway traffic. Sometimes the turn signal actually convinces the other driver to let me in. Who knew? But also if the driver is obviously being aggressive, the turn signal will make them speed up so I can then slow down abruptly and get in behind them. And when people are spacing out, I just fall back to the LA standard of no signal + sneak in when they slack off. It's nuanced.

I recently figured out that if I fold my toilet paper at a diagonal angle after the first wipe, I get a lot more surface area for the second wipe, and much less chance of the dreaded direct finger to inner-ass contact. Sometimes I can even get three wipes with this method. The necessity of hiking and camping with dwindling TP supplies forced this invention.

Somehow I never discovered until this year that white rice with good salty butter is just about the most delicious thing on earth. (Actually I'm glad I didn't discover that until recently - or I'd be even fatter than I already am.)

What else is out there I don't know?
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Old 12-07-2018, 03:06 AM   #2
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Howard you've already reached your one thread limit this week wtf?
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Old 12-07-2018, 03:07 AM   #3
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

And we're off!
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Old 12-07-2018, 03:08 AM   #4
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Oop sorry suzzah!
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Old 12-07-2018, 03:16 AM   #5
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Effective diet/exercise routines.

Not tolerating ****ty people.

Oneitis.

That I'm not fit to be a homeowner.

How much pilots make (I took an aptitude test in high school that suggested it as a career, but I thought I could do better)
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Old 12-07-2018, 03:17 AM   #6
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Oneitis?

FWIW I'm buddies with some pilots. I don't think they make a ton (like $200k-ish?), But the perk of flying anywhere in the world for free, and being able to specify two (wife, mistress?) people who fly basically as you - is pretty amazing.
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Old 12-07-2018, 03:22 AM   #7
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Getting fixated on one woman/generally taking an entirely wrong approach to dating altogether.

Also add "how awesome international travel is". I sadly didn't leave the continent until my late 30s.
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Old 12-07-2018, 03:24 AM   #8
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

I didn't travel much I was 30. Then made up for it big time.

It's kind of hard to do a lot of international travel when you grow up broke in the midwest.
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Old 12-07-2018, 03:31 AM   #9
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Quote:
Originally Posted by suzzer99 View Post
Title says it all.

I just discovered that if I put meat on one side of my cracker, and cheese on the other, the cracker is a lot less likely to scratch the inside of my mouth.
So you make a sandwich with the cracker as the patty and the meat and cheese as the buns? And you touch the meat and cheese with your fingers?
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Old 12-07-2018, 03:32 AM   #10
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Quote:
Originally Posted by suzzer99 View Post
I don't think they make a ton
Quote:
(like $200k-ish?)


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Old 12-07-2018, 03:38 AM   #11
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Quote:
Originally Posted by LieutenantBroccoli View Post
So you make a sandwich with the cracker as the patty and the meat and cheese as the buns? And you touch the meat and cheese with your fingers?
Yes - specifically with these things, but it works with others:

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Old 12-07-2018, 03:39 AM   #12
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Quote:
Originally Posted by suzzer99 View Post
It's kind of hard to do a lot of international travel when you grow up broke in the midwest.
I grew up broke in the South, so pretty much the same thing.

I don't think it's an economic issue though (I met plenty of broke people in SA)... more to do with the fact that you grow up surrounded by people who are content to be mired in a provincial hellhole, and have little desire to venture out that far, because kidnappings/drug wars/brown people/etc.
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Old 12-07-2018, 03:40 AM   #13
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alobar View Post
My comment was in response to the Guy's comment that he didn't realize they made so much.

$200k was actually lower then I expected. I'd have put them in doctor or lawyer category - probably just from growing up watching 70s sitcoms and thinking pilots were gods.
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Old 12-07-2018, 03:49 AM   #14
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Most Doctors and Layers don't make $200K
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Old 12-07-2018, 03:57 AM   #15
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Right doctors make much more than $200k. I'm not sure what Layers make - probably depends on the layers below and above.
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Old 12-07-2018, 04:04 AM   #16
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Most everyone feels exactly the same as you do in common situations, so knowing how to act is actually really easy

squatting is the correct way to take a ****

There isnt anything you can't get better at with practice
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Old 12-07-2018, 04:06 AM   #17
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Quote:
Originally Posted by suzzer99 View Post
Right doctors make much more than $200k. I'm not sure what Layers make - probably depends on the layers below and above.
The average salary for a docter is under $200K, the average salary for a lawyer is well under $200K
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Old 12-07-2018, 04:08 AM   #18
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

How drunk are you right now?
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Old 12-07-2018, 04:18 AM   #19
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

well I can use google, so I guess not that drunk. How bout you?
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Old 12-07-2018, 04:22 AM   #20
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

The only thing you need to make money is KNOWLEDGE. Not some ****ty Robert Kiosaki books. Become expert in something you like or see potential in, then it's about time money come flowing to your pockets
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Old 12-07-2018, 04:25 AM   #21
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Yeah get a PhD in humanities and sit back and get rich on all your KNOWLEDGE
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Old 12-07-2018, 04:30 AM   #22
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Suzz you're sounding really dumb and out of touch right now in regards to what people *really* make on average.
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Old 12-07-2018, 04:33 AM   #23
suzzer99
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

https://thedo.osteopathic.org/2018/0...aking-in-2018/

Quote:
For the seventh straight year, average physician compensation has increased, rising from just over $200,000 in 2011 to about $300,000 in 2018, reports Medscape in its 2018 Physician Compensation Report.
Also these pilots I know who make $200k-ish, all have 15 to 20 years seniority and work for major airlines.

Now do the average of successful doctors or lawyers with 15-20 years experience. I'd be willing to bet it's a lot higher than $200k.

You realize that decent Facebook engineers with 5+ years of experience make like $400k right?
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Old 12-07-2018, 04:34 AM   #24
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Also, puddle-jumper pilots often make jack diddlesquat to the tune of $18-20 and hour and many commercial pilots make <$50k, which I found surprising when I first heard it.
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Old 12-07-2018, 04:38 AM   #25
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Re: Stuff you wish you figured out sooner in life

Goddammit - another salary thread.

Just try the diagonal toilet paper fold and tell me it doesn't change your life.
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