I was at a suite at the Wynn with a call girl who was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. After we finished, she snuggled up to me and said "that was the best I've ever had, I'd like to see you again."
"I'm sure you say that to everyone," I laughed.
She, convincingly, "I'm serious." Damn. She's good. If I ever have to build a sales organization again, she will be my first hire.
We had breakfast in the room and she told me that she could spend time with me between appointments if I was willing, but that no one could know that we were together. I told her that my kid and his wife had the day planned with me, but maybe some other time.
She said, "we can be together in public, but no one can know it is me." She winked and walked into the bathroom and came back out a moment later in the absolute best Telly Savalas disguise possible and said, "let's go hang out with the kids." Like, she looked exactly like Telly Savalas circa 1978 and sounded exactly like him too! Flabbergasted, I just followed her into the hallway and we met my kid and his wife by the elevator.
She said "not this elevator" (again, in Telly's voice) and took us though a doorway to a set of parallel rail-pipes that spiraled downwards, grabbed one of the cafeteria trays from a nearby rack and rode the tray on the rails down. My kid and his wife followed on individual cafeteria trays. I complained about safety and followed.
We emerged by a sports car and everyone jumped in. Disguised-as-Telly call girl said that not many people know about the secret race track or alternative escape route at the Wynn.
We drove around for a bit and bid the kids adeau and returned to the room. She emerged from the bathroom to stand next to who turned out to be actually Telly and said, "so, Telly always wanted to meet you. Sorry about the ruse" and I woke up.
Last night, I caught my brother running an Ethernet cable from a local department store to his house so he can steal their internet connection. Apparently his WiFi signal was too weak to cover his whole house so he thought this was a solution.
I bought him a WiFi amplifier and as I walked to his house at night, I was tackled by a pack of baby skunks. I covered my head so they couldn’t bite me and had to cautiously get up and get away in such a manner that they wouldn’t spray me.
By the time I got to my brother, the police had been called so he took two people hostage and I hid with him in a closed-in security kiosk at Disneyland. I was the voice of reason as I negotiated his peaceful surrender to the police.
the single best thing about not smoking weed every day anymore is that i now dream and dreams are better than weed
craziest thing is i hadn't even noticed i stopped dreaming for years until i quit and all the dreams came back
it's often where i'm in a relationship with - but it's not sexual
when i was in a bad relationship it was about being single
in highschool and college i had a recurring dream where i would be swinging hundreds of feet up in the air like spiderman when he travels fast with his webs but instead it'd be these vines/ropes that would just appear - it was always over a lake which was nearby the house i grew up - and every time it'd be going really well, i'd really hit a groove and be going faster and faster and then there'd be no more vines/rope to grab and i'd plummet to the ground, at which point i'd be waking up
last night dreamed i was in some sort of jurassic park type lab that was underground and we head down to the bottom to investigate and of course the dinosaurs all break out
first team heads up while the team i'm on holds tight at level 9
eventually they report back they made it and things look clear
we head to the elevator, there's very obese raptor in there but he's trapped by some debris against the wall (this is why we had to go up in separate teams, because the fat raptor prevented entire group from entering the elevator and stairs felt too dangerous
we hug the wall and keep our distance, take the elevator up
was a big nothing burger, that obese raptor was the only dino i saw the entire time
but after escaping there was a ton of concern about the dinos escaping, especially the flying ones and even considering the possibility some already had escaped, but i woke up before we came up with a solution
would not watch if it were a new jurassic park film
last night dreamed i was in some sort of jurassic park type lab that was underground and we head down to the bottom to investigate and of course the dinosaurs all break out
first team heads up while the team i'm on holds tight at level 9
eventually they report back they made it and things look clear
we head to the elevator, there's very obese raptor in there but he's trapped by some debris against the wall (this is why we had to go up in separate teams, because the fat raptor prevented entire group from entering the elevator and stairs felt too dangerous
we hug the wall and keep our distance, take the elevator up
was a big nothing burger, that obese raptor was the only dino i saw the entire time
but after escaping there was a ton of concern about the dinos escaping, especially the flying ones and even considering the possibility some already had escaped, but i woke up before we came up with a solution
would not watch if it were a new jurassic park film
I love Jurassic Park and would watch it just to see an obese raptor.
the single best thing about not smoking weed every day anymore is that i now dream and dreams are better than weed
craziest thing is i hadn't even noticed i stopped dreaming for years until i quit and all the dreams came back
it's often where i'm in a relationship with - but it's not sexual
when i was in a bad relationship it was about being single
in highschool and college i had a recurring dream where i would be swinging hundreds of feet up in the air like spiderman when he travels fast with his webs but instead it'd be these vines/ropes that would just appear - it was always over a lake which was nearby the house i grew up - and every time it'd be going really well, i'd really hit a groove and be going faster and faster and then there'd be no more vines/rope to grab and i'd plummet to the ground, at which point i'd be waking up
My son was drafted as the kicker for the New York Giants. Only PATs, not field goals. Because asking a 7 year old to kick field goals would be ridiculous.
I always have dreams about VERY FILTHY bathrooms...
Ive had dreams like this but the strangest dream i ever had was one where it explained why certain words are spelled differently even though they sound the same but i forgot..
My son was drafted as the kicker for the New York Giants. Only PATs, not field goals. Because asking a 7 year old to kick field goals would be ridiculous.