No way did that ruin the night--by us, SB sunday is prop bet central, so there is never a dull moment--great tradition.

It was more of an eye-rolling moment. I only noticed b/c I went into the kitchen to get more ice and saw a HUGE plate of food in there, when every1 else was in the dining room/living room. My first thought was how cheap that was, which reminded me of this thread.

Next year you should have a prop bet on how much she puts on the set-aside plate (or which combo of foods).

Once she does it, you can announce the winner of the prop bet and embarrass her.

That is an amazing idea.

You are a genius.

So what did you to say her about this?

I didn't say anything to her, related to the food or otherwise.
I was entertaining guests, she left, the plate was gone, a few jokes were made about it.

Thanks.

I guess the best way to do it is "try to guess the weight of the plate" of food. When she sets it aside, you can go up and weigh it right in front of everyone. She will have no idea what's going on as the prop bettors will be cheering for their number, etc.

That is already booked for next year. Can't wait for the next Super Bowl!!

No need to wait, just do it at the next available party.

Are you really going to do this?

Assuming you and your guests are adults it sounds like a pretty bad idea. Those sort of mean spirited passive-aggressive public humiliation stunts are best left to teenagers.

yeah, i think nutsacking her dish and keeping it to yourself is the play

We are not going to do it in a way that will humiliate her.

A few of us will wager on the weight of the plate, whoever gets closest will win the $$. She won't know.

I don't advocate humiliating anyone, but there is potential for fun here.

We have a good group of friends, one hosts New Year's, one hosts July 4th, we host SB, etc. So not sure when she will be by us for a party next.

I suppose my daughter's birthday party, but I will have no interest in doing anything on that day that will take away from her party.

Besides, the "plate weight" prop fits right in with the SB theme.

I seriously HATE cheap bastards!

I think its pretty straight forward agressive tbh

.

Nah, straightforward aggressive would be letting her know directly that you didn't appreciate her dropping by empty handed and staying just long enough to fill her belly and pile up a plate of food that you bought for your guests to bring back to her husband who was not in attendance.

Making a game about it behind her back where her and her inconsiderate behavior are the center of attention is not what I would call straightforward.

Yes, berating someone about taking home a plate of finger food is exactly how most adults I know would act. If you would actually confront someone about that instead of just not inviting them you are a nit.

Gotta love the internet, mock something that is completely different than what the person you are attacking ever said. Bonus points for being as condescending as possible.

I never said that he should do that, I said that is what I would describe as "straightforward aggressive". Simply giving an example of a particular type of response does not mean that I endorse it.

Unfortunately the only play here is probably to just suck it up and deal with it, since its not really his friend but his wife's. Both confronting her directly and trying to shame her through prop betting* are both bad options for most grown ups.


*I realize gs37 said she wouldn't know about it but it still sounds like he'd be tempting fate by actually trying to inconspicuously pull this off.

The idea for a prop bet on this wasn't even my idea, but it is creative. I suppose since there is a year until the next Super Bowl, it's very likely that this will all be forgotten by then.

She is my wife's friend, so not inviting her isn't an option. Nor is saying anything, which would be wrong.

Being that this thread is about stingy things, I thought it was appropriate.

I can't really understand these people - are they totally clueless that this behavior has such negative connoations in society - or, do they realize this - but the "free something rush" makes the humilation worth it?

Telling someone that you don't appreciate them taking food to go for someone who isn't there without them even asking doesn't fall under berating them. Whether or not it is berating is in the tone that you communicate this to them. And for you to automatically think that talking to someone about this= berating them shows that you must be a very thin skinned individual, and it therefore doesn't surprise me in the slightest that your obvious fear of being honest with someone for something unpleasant because of the discomfort it may cause would lead you to take the passive aggressive approach and just not invite someone the next time.

I have many friends who through the course of our relationships, they have been guilty of some kind of social faux pas and I have told them afterwards. The same thing has happened to me on occasion (where I've committed a party foul). I have been grateful every single time they brought it to my attention, because it has made me a better person and has saved me the potential embarrassment and other consequences at future events.

If it's the wife's friend and she's any kind of close friend, tell her to sack up and talk to her about it.

The "guess the plate weight" game is awesome too, though.

wtf so tilted that I saw the last post was DD and got no dad.

Just playing, but you've really created something of a monster expectation.

You might just be a stingy person.

Not condoning the wife's friends actions obv, but if you let it run your party that's pretty neurotic imo. I would just make sure there's always plenty of food and enjoy making fun of her behind her back about it.

That same friend I have who wouldn't turn on the AC is like this. We traveled together with him and his wife in Thailand, where you could get a really good meal for $3/person. One time we accidentally sat down at a stupid resorty place and the meal cost us like twice that much. He was absolutely beside himself when he saw the menu, and was in a bad mood the rest of the day about it. It was a big relief whenever me and my gf could split away and eat lunch wherever we wanted - w/o worrying about getting the best possible deal on earth.

Why would you travel with someone like that? I couldn't think of a worse traveling partner.