In the 1990's I used to occasionally go to a dog track about 30 miles away. There was hard core dog bettor there through the years....overweight...sunken eyes....dirty greasy hair.....took it way too seriously....and almost always broke and penniless.
In December of 1999, a friend of his was rumored to have gotten a hold of forty thousand dollars, presumably, to gamble. In any event, the hard core dog bettor caught wind of this. So, he decides to bring it up to his group of friends sitting around the table. He said: "Did you hear about Charlie? He got a hold of forty thousand dollars, from his Y2K"! His friends immediately jumped on him in friendly laughter and mockery, telling him that they already knew about it, and that it wasn't from Y2K, but from his 401K. To which the degenerate dog player then responded: "Damn, I wish I had me one of them".
Another time at the dog track, there was a guy, who I had known as a horse player, but who, like others, liked to go down to the dog track once in a while, as betting dogs is more fun, and is usually taken less seriously by hard core horse players....a way to get some action and let off some steam.
The guy was firing pretty good, boxing 4 or 5 dogs per race, which costs either 48 or 60 bucks to do. So, early enough in the evening he strikes a big ticket....he was getting about $1,200 back from his bet. So, he let out a celebretory Woooo brag, kind of like Rick Flair, and shoved the ticket in everyone's face, but in a friendly way. We were all happy for him, and celebrated with him. Understand that this was a Saturday night, and the next day there was a Sunday doubleheader, and that he had played his bet from a self serve betting machine.
Well, the player goes up to get cash his ticket with a teller, and many in the group, being busted themselves, were probably dreaming of getting thrown a 10 or a 20, or at worst, getting a hotdog and coke out of it. The excitement was in the air. Shortly thereafter, the guy comes back from the window with a dazed look on his face....also know that his guy was at the time in his late 30's to early 40's, had a receding hairline, and may have been on drugs, as he was a bit keyed up that night....until he explained what happened.
His ticket was NOT A WINNER. When he went to the self service machine to make his bet, the machine mistakenly gave him the ticket for the same numbered race, but for the next day, the Sunday afternoon Matinee. How this happened nobody knows. Needless to say, the wind was yanked from everyone's sails, and he proceeded to lose the rest of his money in short order.
I happened to be sitting pretty good in life at the time, so I figured I would make some plays, have him go make the plays (at a live teller, of course), and then give him a free shot if we cashed....spend maybe 50 on a race, and if we hit for 500, throw him 100.
So, I handicap a race, write down my play, hand him 50, and tell him to go play the ticket. His response was classic. In a bit of defeated sarcasm, while still trying to find a bit of humor in his earlier situation, and with a straight face he said: "Do you want this for today or tomorrow"? Picture a dejected Bill Murray while bowling in the movie Kingpin.
