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09-14-2017 , 02:27 PM

#326

gregorio

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 39,313

Happy Birthday. Maybe Josie will bake you cake You sure deserve it. Look at some of her recent work.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Very Josie

Below is an example of bad carbs that I baked last week. This is a dark chocolate s'mores cheesecake.

Good ole chocolate cake, dark chocolate frosting, toasted coconut crumbles on top.

Or maybe fuluck will order one for you.

09-14-2017 , 02:29 PM

#327

Very Josie

I'm a Goddamned Artist

Join Date: Jul 2015 Posts: 4,656

Quote:

Originally Posted by Villian1

If it weren't for the violence, she'd be a great person but god damn. I can't even get out of bed. I'd post a pic but I'm embarrassed/anonymity.

You just slip out the back, Jack.
Make a new plan, Stan.
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hope on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just get yourself free

There must be 50 ways to leave your abusive hooker.

09-14-2017 , 02:30 PM

#328

gregorio

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 39,313

Larry, congrats, and hope you're having a great honeymoon.

09-14-2017 , 02:52 PM

#329

Steve350

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 2,039

Nice smooth, non-pointy elbows on your wife. Good eye! Congrats.

09-14-2017 , 03:04 PM

#330

chopstick

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 9,158

Quote:

Originally Posted by El Diablo

Chop and other guac lovers,

We may have our differences, but let's all cry together at this:

What is there to cry about? It's not like that is even guac. I guess we have to mourn the loss of an avocado to that monstrosity, but it's not even remotely close to being guac so no tears need be shed.

Guacamole day is 2 days away btw let us go go go

Quote:

Originally Posted by Larry Legend

Got married this last weekend:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Villian1

On the flip side, I'm pretty sure the hooker is leaving today which is great because it's also my birthday!

happy birthday Villian1!

Quote:

Originally Posted by pokeraz

If I'm ever told by a doctor that I have only a few months to live, heroin is on my bucket list. That first time doing it sounds like a lot of fun.

same same

Went to the hospital for kidney stones once (had no idea what it was at the time) and after they confirmed I wasn't faking, they put me on a Dilaudid (hydromorphone) IV. Went from the worst pain in my life to feeling groovy in about the time it takes to flip a light switch.

09-14-2017 , 03:13 PM

#331

27offsuit

actions have consequences!

Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 38,535

haha that poster

what happened to dropping off the key, Josiee...

09-14-2017 , 03:22 PM

#332

anonla

Cause and effect

Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 5,487

Quote:

Originally Posted by Larry Legend

Got married this last weekend:

(Posted this in the SE fack, but also figured I should post here as well)

Congrats LL. You look happy.

09-14-2017 , 03:24 PM

#333

Very Josie

I'm a Goddamned Artist

Join Date: Jul 2015 Posts: 4,656

Quote:

Originally Posted by 27offsuit

haha that poster

what happened to dropping off the key, Josiee...

Drop off the key, Lee and set yourself free! I'd forgotten that part. (I'm old)

09-14-2017 , 03:29 PM

#334

Very Josie

I'm a Goddamned Artist

Join Date: Jul 2015 Posts: 4,656

Quote:

Originally Posted by gregorio

Happy Birthday. Maybe Josie will bake you cake You sure deserve it. Look at some of her recent work. Or maybe fuluck will order one for you.

I'd totally bake you a cake if I could.
For your birthday of course, if that's not understood.
Because of location, I don't think I can.
But enjoy your birthday with that hooker, my man.

09-14-2017 , 03:32 PM

#335

offTopic

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 19,511

Is there a website based around guys who didn't outkick their coverage? I mean, it's 100% standard, is it not? (In before people of wal-mart wedding photos)

09-14-2017 , 03:34 PM

#336

anonla

Cause and effect

Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 5,487

Quote:

Originally Posted by Villian1

She got angry because my mom and her don't see eye to eye. They got off on a bad foot by the hooker being TOO honest with my mom who is a psychologist and my mom can be a sneaky ***** at times and used all the info given against her.

My mom was going to come down for my birthday but the hooker and her can't be in the same room. They really don't like each other. I told the hooker my mom was coming and I'd drive her to the methadone clinic and drop her off at her Dad's house so she could hang out with her kids and we'd go out to dinner afterwards. I thought it was a win-win.

Well, I went to this nearby watering hole while she was asleep (I did tell her I was going but I guess she forgot) and she happened to walk in while they were singing "happy birthday" to me in their native language and she got upset.

We left and I got beat up by a girl. I refuse to hit girls.

Edit... I probably said some dumb **** along the way. I've never called her a junkie whore even though technically that is what she is.

That sounds really bad. I mean..... You sound like a really really really nice guy, but ..... I don't know..... I would run for the hills really fast. I would call police on the junkie and do everything to never ever again cross her path. I mean it is unpredictable what she is gonna do to you whilst you sleep. And think what your mom feels when she sees that.

I don't know...... If you really need this emotional boiling, adrenaline and so on there are ways to get it without being beat-up by your girl.

09-14-2017 , 03:37 PM

#337

offTopic

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 19,511

The beatings will likely diminish in frequency and severity once Villian learns to make her a priority

09-14-2017 , 03:39 PM

#338

GMLAW

veteran

Join Date: Sep 2013 Posts: 2,642

Congratulations Larry!

Seems big-clitted too me.

09-14-2017 , 03:42 PM

#339

Bighurt52235

I was born to eat hamburgers

Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 24,218

Quote:

Originally Posted by Villian1

On the flip side, I'm pretty sure the hooker is leaving today which is great because it's also my birthday!

She's currently just cleaning up the broken glass and ceramic that she smashed last night which is nice. I'm pretty sure I have at least 2 broken ribs and def a black eye/split lip which is still bleeding ughh. Last night was not fun.

She should be going to her Dad's house in a few hours which is a great place for her to go.

The downside is I have a meeting with a lobbyist on Tuesday and would rather not walk in with a black eye and not be able to smile without bleeding everywhere.

JFC

Quote:

Originally Posted by El Diablo

Vill,

Happy birthday!

09-14-2017 , 03:44 PM

#340

Tom Ames

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 45,789

Happy Birthday, Villian.

Quote:

Originally Posted by offTopic

The beatings will likely diminish in frequency and severity once Villian learns to make her a priority

09-14-2017 , 03:46 PM

#341

Bighurt52235

I was born to eat hamburgers

Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 24,218

Quote:

Originally Posted by Villian1

If it weren't for the violence, she'd be a great person but god damn. I can't even get out of bed. I'd post a pic but I'm embarrassed/anonymity.

Dude, come the **** on! Several times you've ignored the question about why she is a good person. She's not, she's a ****ing bag of AIDS.

Your situation tilts me more than any I've read on this site, including MLYLT, WVU/Michele...

09-14-2017 , 03:48 PM

#342

Bighurt52235

I was born to eat hamburgers

Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 24,218

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve350

Nice smooth, non-pointy elbows on your wife. Good eye! Congrats.

We don't know this. Arm is twisted to deliberately hide elbow.

09-14-2017 , 03:55 PM

#343

Rapini

ragging

Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 13,096

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bighurt52235

She's not, she's a ****ing bag of AIDS.

Shouldn't be a problem according to HB.

09-14-2017 , 03:58 PM

#344

econophile

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 11,319

Quote:

Originally Posted by offTopic

Is there a website based around guys who didn't outkick their coverage? I mean, it's 100% standard, is it not? (In before people of wal-mart wedding photos)

Chris Pratt until recently

09-14-2017 , 03:59 PM

#345

econophile

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 11,319

Congrats, LL!

09-14-2017 , 04:10 PM

#346

Howard Treesong

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 14,681

@El D: that guac is an abomination, and it is only a matter of time until some numbnuts makes poke that looks similar. We are headed towards a universe in which guac and poke become unified. It is a scary thought.

@LL: you guys look really happy, many happy returns, sir!

@Vill: I'm all about freedom of choice and I'll support you pretty much no matter what, but this situation has "bad mojo" written all over it.

Heroin has long seemed to me to be a solid deathbed option, and I've expressly told my children this. But maybe the day before that, I'll ask my hospice workers to find .3 grams of MDMA and crank up the electronic house music for me.

@chop: and here I thought you were ignoring national guacamole day!

Last edited by Howard Treesong; 09-14-2017 at 04:29 PM.

09-14-2017 , 04:16 PM

#347

Steve350

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 2,039

Quote:

Originally Posted by offTopic

The beatings will likely diminish in frequency and severity once Code3 learns to make her a priority

Posted in wrong thread, I think.

09-14-2017 , 06:09 PM

#348

econophile

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 11,319

from early reviews, it sounds like mother! is totally bat****

could be a good month for horror

09-14-2017 , 06:52 PM

#349

RunDownHouse.

veteran

Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 2,605

Quote:

Originally Posted by offTopic

Is there a website based around guys who didn't outkick their coverage? I mean, it's 100% standard, is it not? (In before people of wal-mart wedding photos)

Roger Federer