LL,

I'm always happy when someone else outkicks their coverage.

I blame this on when they started making salsa out of stuff that wasn't salsa.

Congrats, LL!

Great follow-up.

oops! I was unaware of Steve350's talent until yesterday.

Larry,

Congrats! Not bad for a stupid small-dicked sales guy!

Congrats Larry, looks like you had fun.

Larry had the wisdom to rope her into a commitment before she discovered the truth!

Congrats Larry!!

Well played Larry.

On the flip side, I'm pretty sure the hooker is leaving today which is great because it's also my birthday!

She's currently just cleaning up the broken glass and ceramic that she smashed last night which is nice. I'm pretty sure I have at least 2 broken ribs and def a black eye/split lip which is still bleeding ughh. Last night was not fun.

She should be going to her Dad's house in a few hours which is a great place for her to go.

The downside is I have a meeting with a lobbyist on Tuesday and would rather not walk in with a black eye and not be able to smile without bleeding everywhere.

Vill,

Happy birthday!

1.) Happy birthday!
2.) Assuming the hooker gave you the injuries, please tell us why.
3.) Makeup, specifically concealer, can camouflage your faded black eye on Tuesday.

Give us details on why she beat you up! (and if she's really leaving. girl ain't cleaning up just to leave bro!)

She got angry because my mom and her don't see eye to eye. They got off on a bad foot by the hooker being TOO honest with my mom who is a psychologist and my mom can be a sneaky ***** at times and used all the info given against her.

My mom was going to come down for my birthday but the hooker and her can't be in the same room. They really don't like each other. I told the hooker my mom was coming and I'd drive her to the methadone clinic and drop her off at her Dad's house so she could hang out with her kids and we'd go out to dinner afterwards. I thought it was a win-win.

Well, I went to this nearby watering hole while she was asleep (I did tell her I was going but I guess she forgot) and she happened to walk in while they were singing "happy birthday" to me in their native language and she got upset.

We left and I got beat up by a girl. I refuse to hit girls.

Edit... I probably said some dumb **** along the way. I've never called her a junkie whore even though technically that is what she is.

Your mom isn't making life easy for you and accepting your choice and she's wrong in that.

However, more wrong is the physical abuse. Hooker sounds like such a train wreck that is not fixable. Sometimes getting laid just isn't worth it.

I hope you still get to see your mom. gl gl gl

Villian,

Also, does she look like a zombie with her eyes glazed over and slow slurred speech after going to the methadone clinic? I'm about to hit Dunkin Donuts, which happens to be next to a methadone clinic and there are always zombie like people wandering in and out of dunks after getting their meds. Ugh, wish me luck! I TRY to make it through without buying anyone a coffee or donut, which is not easy.

She actually looks a heck of a lot better than most in the methadone clinic. I'd say well over 50% are still using heroin and use the meth as a safety net if they are broke. Those are the walking zombies. They generally wear pajama pants and look sick/zonked out.

The heroin addicts I've encountered generally survive off of coffee and sweets. You couldn't pay me enough to work at a dunkin donuts located next to a methadone clinic. Pretty sweet set up though.

I'd be more inclined to buy them a coffee than a donut. From my sample size of one, they eat sweets when they are still using (along with coffee) but she just drinks coffee now and rarely eats sweets.

If it weren't for the violence, she'd be a great person but god damn. I can't even get out of bed. I'd post a pic but I'm embarrassed/anonymity.

All,

Thanks for the well wishes!

Also, maybe her being a small-clitted sales woman helped my cause!

If I'm ever told by a doctor that I have only a few months to live, heroin is on my bucket list. That first time doing it sounds like a lot of fun.

poker,

Me too.

Congrats Larry! What beach/jetty is that?

What exactly is a small-clitted sales woman? Is it what I'm thinking or is there more to it?

Edit... I'll be posting a lot today. Please forgive me.

Villl,

It's your birthday, this thread is all about you today!

Did you ever find your laptop? Anyway, it sound like at the end of the day, if you look past all of the bs she is really a good person.
Smart. I recently started rewatching Breaking Bad and just saw the episode where the guy calls his meth-head whore wife a skank once too often and she crushes his skull with an ATM.

Kennebunkport Maine