Share your weird sex thoughts/feelings/experiences ITT. I'll start.

1. Lately during sex I've fantasized about how I'm being used by terrorist women, or aliens, who've been tasked with forcing me to cum in order to analyze my sperm or use it for their own purposes. I don't know why but this has really been turning me on.

2. I've never told anybody about this. Ten years ago I was studying abroad in Florence. Got totally smashed one night and was making the 90 minute walk back to the place I was living at, throwing up once or twice on the way. I was solo as my buddy went home w/ another female student. Young guy my age pulls up on a Vespa and alludes to how he'd give me a ride back to my place if I let him fool around w/ me. I agreed to it, which was very OOC for me. I can hardly stay on the scooter, leaning hard and almost falling off repeatedly.

We get to an ally and he starts touching me, which is made awkwarder by the convo. He tells me he has a female friend who is deaf and that he has taken guys back to perform acts on them for her enjoyment. He asks if I'm willing. I think the situation sobered me up enough to realize I was way, way out of my element. I tell the guy I'm done, but that I'd appreciate a ride. He immediately stops and drives me to my host family.

what the **** is wrong with you?

I've seen what getting jizzed on by a group of people does to a man, it is not pretty. I wasn't a part of it but when I was 12 or 13 I went to a sleep away summer camp and this is like when we were starting to discover porn and jacking off. Some kid brought some playboys and naked playing cards, sh*t like that with him. Anyway, one kid in our cabin was a huge tool, stole stuff like food and money from other people in our cabin. So half a dozen kids decided one night to wake up in the middle of the night at like 3 a.m and take turns jacking off in the bathroom, running out before they finished and blowing their load on the kid when he was sleeping. Literally 6-8 kids did this, all over his face, sheets, upper body, and hands, one kid also did it in his shoes. So everyone else wakes up the next morning and we all knew what had happened but this kid couldn't figure out why he was all sticky for like 15 minutes until a counselor forced it out of a kid. When the kid found out he went absolutely nuts, like certifiably crazy mental breakdown. He had to leave the camp for psychiatric treatment, worst part was after he took a shower and went to leave he stepped in the jizz shoes and also like 6 of my friends I never saw again because they got kicked out.

So Italian. Although I usually imagine the target is a woman.

Mnn: D- trolling attempt.

Well, this has taken an interesting turn.

You almost certainly would have woken up in a bathtub full of ice with your kidneys missing. Lucky for you and unlucky for us that you wussed out.

Putting you in a bathtub of ice is an urban legend I believe. It's the organ that needs to be kept on ice, not you.

Just be glad he doesn't want to rape Katy Perry.

The ice part is an urban legend but the rest is all true?

I think it has happened (not in Italy) although extremely rarely. If you think about the practicalities for a few seconds why becomes clear.

I dunno, doesn't seem that hard. Seems like you just need to be able to identify a suitably stupid target (this group is obviously very good at this part), have appropriate bait (the promise of mutual masturbation in front of a deaf girl seems fine), and then it's just a matter of acquiring some ice.

Like stealing jewelry, the problems start to mount when it comes time to sell. Except that organs are perishable.

OP has paved a stark-lit road for the depraved to shed light upon

Don't you mean a weird turn?

I had an ex who is into simulated rape.

A lot of women in fact are into rapish kind of fantasies.

Is THAT what you tell the judge?

I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole.

My first ex did her part in maintaining the population. She had two by me and four by her current husband. She became catholic when she married him and would have probably had more, but she had issues with the last pregnancy that made it the last pregnancy.

I'm pretty smashed at the moment. This thread has provided some laughs already so I'll share.

The first time I had sex was one of the worst things I've ever experienced. Not because of the typical **** like being to nervous and jizzing early. I had a condition known as frenulum breve which is when the tendon under your knob that attaches to the shaft is way shorter than normal. I'd never had a problem jacking it but sex was some sort of pain out of this world, like someone was trying to rip the head off my penis. Despite my anguish I just kept thrusting because I was so happy to be doing it and I didn't want to let the girl down. Thankfully I was really drunk and was able to blame my poor performance on that. Unfortunately I woke up and my dick was all kinds of purple and yellow. So much pain and no morning sex.

But worth a lot.





Don't ask how I know this.

~standard

+1

Katy Perry jacked me off as I rode my Vespa, and it caused my junk to turn purple. Or was that my kidney that she stole?

Here's how sex is weird for me. Ten years ago twice a day was pretty normal. Every now and then like 4-5 times in a 36 hour period where you feel so exhausted and have actual dick exhaustion... that sort of thing.

Now I'm in my early 30s and I want it like three times a week at most. I'm in a healthy relationship with a good looking, sexual partner, and more often than not I find myself more interested in cooking something or watching a good movie than having sex. I still initiate, more out of habit than anything, but I have like next to no desire a lot of the time.

Normally I would say this is an example of stale relationship sex which is so standard, but I was feeling this way for a while even before my current relationship, in which I've been monogamous. Such is life I guess. But I find it weird how hormonal changes seem to arrive before you even notice they'd started morphing your feelings.