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For poker players you are all so passive-aggressive. Tea bagging and throwing dirty dishes in his room?
i fail to see how putting nuts to his mouth is passive-aggressive. this seems like a pretty confrontational act?
you need to win the arms race of non-household devices. you could build a cigar smoking machine, then have the 3 of you go on a camping trip while it burns through ~100 cigars in one of the bedrooms back to back. ideally, the construction of the machine would involve a lathe.