Chiming in, I've been what some COULD classify as alcoholic, definitely had a few moments where it looked worse than others.

I have an 18 month old son, and a brand new business me and my partner started last year...

Alcohol does not help me look after my son or make good decisions, and it doesn't help me stay sharp and motivated at work... As well, I'm on medication that doesn't combine with alcohol well at all (Bipolar Manic) for an extra reason to quit.

I quit smoking weed back in 2011 or so cold turkey, and now I've quit drinking alcohol.

As of today, I've probably had 8-12 beers (total) since August in moments of weakness, but every single time I drank them I regretted it after, and did not enjoy the experience anymore.

I think that's what can make quitting almost anything easy, is to actually, literally, not enjoy it anymore. If you still enjoy it, it'll be so damn hard to quit.


So, being New Years Eve, I am going to make a Resolution to not drink at all until my birthday (April 7), which I will make the decision then if I want to continue 100% sober, or just stay 98% sober.

I curious what makes you think drinking on April 7 will be any different than the above experiences?

That's a very good point... (I'm obv still early in my 'quitting' process mentally)

Perhaps I don't regret the one or two beers... My 'problem' that I forgot to mention is that I love the taste of most craft beers... I can easily not drink Budweiser or Kokanee, but saying no to a good craft IPA or Pale Ale is a bit harder. The regret I feel is more likely just caused by my mentally wanting to quit 100% and I feel like I fail when I have a beer, which in literal terms is true, but realistically it doesn't mean I'm going to go start drinking heavy again.

Just for clarification, the 'oh ****' moment that really starts my look at how I abused alcohol was crashing the family car after going to McDonalds.. I learned from that day, high cost of education, to finally destroy my invincibility.

lol nah

he is pathetic like that

woat poster

Pretty sure some massively disproportionate amount of bipolar people abuse substances (very often alcohol). Case in point me, you, and I think HiFi if my memory is correct (sorry if I'm not remembering correctly hifi) have all posted in the last week ITT.

Pretty sure trying to deal with that issue will help with the alcohol issue more than anything else for anyone in that boat. I am gonna go out on a limb and guess that your ability/desire to not drink is tied in with how well you are staying on your meds. Good job staying on them!

Happy New Year everybody! My three years came on 12/27. People make a big deal out of birthdays, but I'm always slightly uncomfortable with it because I feel like it makes it sound like "Oh thank God I was able to grind out another year." Which is not how I feel about sobriety at all. Also, everybody acts like this is something that I personally accomplished, while I very much believe that this is something that happened to me. In general I feel like I deserve all the congratulations you'd give to a man who ran out of a burning house. When you talk to someone who narrowly avoided disaster we usually stay stuff like "I am so happy you survived" or "Thank God you made it", which seems more appropriate to me in this situation.

But, it's important to acknowledge this stuff for so that other people can see it. A newcomer who has heard my story might get the inkling that it's possible to go from where they are to where I am. An old-timer might be reminded of what it was like to be where I am now and how far they've come. I think this thread is pretty cool for that reason, you can go back and read where I was and where I am now. And so can I!

When I was a year sober if you had said that I was new I would've probably been annoyed. At three years if you call me a newcomer my response is "Hell yes!" I've learned and changed more in the past year than I did in the first year, when I don't think my head ever stopped spinning. Based on that I fully expect the trend to continue. I know I have a lot more changing to do but am confident it can really happen. It's not always fun, but it always moves me forward.

Happy New Year!

LFS

Happy New Year!

Good work staying the course, that's how I see it

LFS, do you still go to AA meetings? I decided to go to as many different ones as I could as my DUI requirement, including some NAs, to at least get exposure to what's out there.

I found most of the AAs filled with people I would generally classify as social nerds. Not that I'm not a nerd for the most part, but for a lot of these people I got the feeling this was their first real social group. Well obviously it was their first real social group that didn't revolve around alcohol or drugs. But the point is most of them were kind of off-putting like that. I got the feeling a lot of people get clean and move on, while the people who don't have much life outside of AA, and really like to hear themselves talk, stick around for life. Thoughts on that?

Anyway there was one big exception, which probably not coincidentally also happened to be by far the largest group I went to - the Denver group in Redondo Beach. They were kind of new agey and into meditation. Literally at any given time 10-20% of the room of 60 or so would have their eyes closed during the meeting. But I really got into everything they said and the speakers were generally amazing. If I ever feel the need to go full cold turkey and go to AA that's the one I'm heading to. The only downside was they would go around the whole room of 60 ppl and everyone would say "(their name), alcoholic" - when I would just say my name there was this endless pregnant pause as they waited for me to say alcoholic. I dreaded that so much. Maybe it's by design.

For pure entertainment value nothing beats the NAs. Those people have been to the bowels of hell and back. But 1.5 hours is rough.

Huh, that's interesting. I generally go to the same 2-3 meetings a week and don't think that's the case, but who knows maybe you'd come to them and tell me "Nope, these people are weirdos too." I know the type of person you're talking about, and there might be a higher percentage of them in AA (which would stand to reason I think). It's also possible that my regular meetings are my regular meetings exactly because they're mostly "normal" people. I do know that there are all kinds of meetings, I've been to some I'd never return to and some people hate the ones I love.

The difference between those who stay and those who "get clean and move on" is pretty fundamental, I think. I think with some people you take away the alcohol and drugs and their problems go away. Other people you take away the alcohol and drugs and that's when the REAL problems begin/really show themselves.

My "home" group/the first meeting I ever went to and the way we work the steps there comes from the Denver Group. The guy who started my meeting had been sober for 20+ years and was going crazy and met some of the original Denver guys, they took him through the steps, and he started our meeting. I've never been to that one in Redondo but I know people who go all the time. In LA there's our group, a couple in Santa Monica, and one in South Pasadena that do things that way. Some people love it and some people are like "I don't have any ****ing idea what you guys are talking about, how the **** is this supposed to help me quit drinking?" If you have to get sober LA is the place to do it, there are SO many meetings, there's bound to be one for everyone.

I've never been to an NA meeting and had a real aversion to it, in my mind when I got clean I was like "nobody there will regard benzos as real drugs, I have nothing in common with crystal addicts". I've still never been and still feel that way! The only non-AA 12-step meetings I've been to are Al Anon, which I should really be going to regularly; and a Pills Anonymous meeting that I loved.

15 years today

I'm celebrating by posting in a thread I said I was finished with and circumventing the profanity filter.



Might get my first infraction since 2013 for doing this but unless I get permabanned it'll be worth it.

Celebrating irl tonight. Getting my chip. Think my sponsor got me a custom one this year. I hope it's purple. Another sober poker player is speaking for me. Then we're going to dinner somewhere awesome. ****ing yay, man.

Congrats LFS and HiFi. Good to hear you're doing (seemingly) better again HiFi, good luck to you both.

My brother is an alcohol addict. He's been fired from 5 jobs because of his alcoholism. His family is left struggling. His wife is a work-at-home mum who can't pay the bills with her meager earnings. We thought of sending him to a rehab center Edgewood Canada. But he is adamant on not going. What should we do to so that he goes?Can't see him ruining his life like this anymore.

My name is Riverman and I'm an alcoholic.

I grew up with a silver spoon in my mouth. Spoiled rotten, never wanted for anything. Constantly told I was the best at everything. Loving parents, plenty of friends, no trauma.

My drinking career started in earnest in college. By sophomore year, it was 3-4 nights a week. The last two years, I was drinking every night and blacking out a dozen times a month. My grades suffered, I stopped communicating with my family, I almost lost the love of my life. I told myself it would pass when I got into the real world.

Nope. Got some Mickey Mouse job at a law firm and drank my way through. Awful hangovers every morning, close to zero productivity. Constant fighting with my loved ones. This time, I told myself I'd quit when law school started - that would be the time to get serious.

Nope again. Hammered more or less continuously for three years of law school. After the first year, I checked out completely. I was married now, and things were not smooth. By now the wife realized there was a problem. If she challenged me, I would insult her and drink even more only to apologize and promise changes when the booze wore off. I kept exactly zero of those promises. This was the beginning of at least 100 sincere promises to quit - I simply couldn't do it. But since I was checking all the external boxes for what a successful person looks like, I wasn't ready for help. I convinced myself that if we moved away, I would change.

Nope. Three years in California were filled with the now familiar routine. Look functional and successful to the outside world during the day, retreat to the bottle at night. Of course keeping up appearances was exhausting and I neglected my wife and family. The promises to stop continued to no avail. Now I convinced myself that things would get better if only we moved yet again, this time back home.

Nope. Four more years of the same. Even a second child didn't inspire me to change. Drunk every single night, I would put the kids to bed earlier and earlier so I could drink while still being a "good" dad. Then I gave up and started drinking as soon as I got home, every single night. I would rush through story time and bed time, irritated my drinking time was being interrupted. If they woke up with nightmares, I told the to go back to bed and poured a stiff one.

Six months ago, I was admitted to the hospital for depression. Of course, while I was indeed depressed, it was all due to alcoholism. There was no dopamine left. I was drinking 2/3 a liter a night just to feel semi-normal. The euphoric reaction was long gone.

More recently, having been kicked out of the house by my long suffering wife, I hiked myself up in an apartment and went on a four day bender. I didn't eat. If I wasn't sleeping, I was drinking. When I wouldn't answer the door or my phone, my wife thought I was dead.

Now I'm a few weeks into rehab and for the first time in 15 years I am hopeful for the future. I now understand that I have a horrible disease. Will power had nothing to do with it. Guilt, Shame and Genes got me here. I'm finally being 100% honest with myself and my loved ones, and it is an awesome, liberating feeling. There is a long way to go, but I am truly excited about a sober life. I have a chance to save my family - lots of alcoholics don't. If I start drinking again, I will die. But my kids aren't growing up without a dad and my wife has suffered enough.

Go to an Al Anon meeting. Bring your parents, bring your sister-in-law, volunteer to watch their kids so she can go to meetings on her own.

Does he acknowledge he has a problem and just doesn't want to go to rehab? I get that, I was like that. If so, call AA. If he'll agree to talk to someone in AA they'll send someone.

If he's refusing to acknowledge the problem there's nothing you can do to make him. Take care of yourselves, your sister-in-law, their kids, whatever that looks like.

Feel free to post more questions here - I don't think you have enough posts to PM. Or if you have a "real" account feel free to PM me from that, it will remain confidential.

Wow man. Thank you for posting this. We sound so much alike. I'm so happy for you that it sounds like the time has arrived. This thing is very real, but so is the opportunity for change. Life is SO much more than the way we were living it.

There's a quote in one of the stories that came up in a meeting lately that I love and keep repeating - normal people adjust their behavior to match their goals, but alcoholics adjust their goals to match their behavior. Ring any bells?

Hit me up anytime.

Good luck Riverman. Stick out the rehab man. It was the best decision I ever made. Nearly two years sober now. Was drinking/drugging for 18 years up until rehab.

Miley, basically what LFS says. Good luck man..

Hang in there, Riverman!

All the best Riverman.

Has anyone had any experience with Naltrexone (opioid blocker) and/or The Sinclair Method?

Put very simply, it's the idea of reprogramming your brain to remove the 'addictive bit'.

There's a really interesting little documentary about it called One Little Pill. It's narrated by Claudia Christian, from Babylon 5, who's very positive about it.

I share this trailer's expressed suspicion of the rehab industry, it is shaaaaady. But probably not as shady as the pharmaceutical industry, so I don't know where that leaves me.

I don't have any personal experience with Naltrexone. If it's helping people, great. And I'm sure it is recommended to be taken in conjunction with a therapeutic program of some kind, whether it's 12-step or otherwise. I hope so at least. Because I am sure there are effective ways of training my brain not to go towards drugs and alcohol for relief. But that doesn't necessarily do anything about the state of affairs from which I am seeking that relief. As I've said before, in my perception alcohol and drugs were not my problem, they were my solution to my problem. Take them away, and the problem persists, or even gets worse because I don't have my solution anymore.

I'd give the documentary a watch if you have the chance, it's pretty thought-provoking. They are very critical of the pharmaceutical industry too.

I'm curious about it as I've just been prescribed it, but on a daily dose (which supposedly isn't very helpful), and the shrink didn't mention anything about the Sinclair Method.

I was sceptical of a 'magic pill', but the film made a lot of sense to me. It's not just some kooky Herbalife style thing.

Yeh this is a great point. The pill is only effectively removing our solution but in a lot easier way, compared to straight abstinence.

Damn Riverman - I'm really happy for you dude. I could tell you were really unhappy and there didn't seem to be any reason for it considering you seemed to have a pretty good life. Your Vegas TR comes to mind. Tragic comedy.

Is there a recent one you are referring to? The last one I see started on 8/3/13

So I have been pondering writing this for a long time. It's just to get some stuff off my chest as I see there are many more like me.

I like to drink. I really enjoy yapping it up with my pals and boozing it up. I am a definition binge drinker. When I binge I get very sensitive and get easily offended. I don't end up in physical fights out at the bar or anything but I usually get into confrontations with my family. I say nasty things and rage really bad. This is not a common occlurance but definitely every couple of months.

One of the things I like about drinking is that it makes me more "fun" and I am more outgoing with the ladies. This is only true in the initial buzzed stages. Once I am in full blown binge I really am sensitive about the rejection. I will usually rage and shout and basically go off. I can't even imagine how I look.

I am also a cryer when I get blasted. I will rage and get mad then cry. I usually wake up not completely sure of the details of the night before but I know it's not good. I will then self loathe for a good week and apologize to everyone involved.

Thankfully with my job I am forced to abstain from alcohol when I am on my shift which is usually at least a week at a time. During this time I do not crave drinking. I feel good, go to the gym, get things done. As soon as I get a couple days off I get together with my buddies and get a poker game going. Oh and drink a lot. Mainly wine and Makers. My buddies are pretty good with booze. They get blasted as well. I haven't seen them rage like I do though.

The problem is that alcohol is part of all of my friends lives and my family. Everyone drinks. I like to drink but am thinking I may not be the type that can "social drink". Is it possible to "cut back"? Or am I too far gone and total abstinence is my only answer?

Each person's different, but if it's something you are thinking/worrying about, then maybe i's worth looking into a bit more.

Have you tried cutting back before? Either drinking 'normally' or quitting for a bit?

This is the kind of thing that nobody can answer for you, in my opinion. I mean, sure we can tell you what we think, but it won't matter a whit if you don't fully believe it in your heart of hearts.

So, if this is something you are concerned about and want to pursue, I'd suggest you do some research. One thing to do is experiment with controlled drinking. There's a saying in AA that when we controlled our drinking we couldn't enjoy it, and when we enjoyed it we couldn't control it. So try controlling it and see how that goes. My personal experience was that attempting to "have a few" was considerably more difficult than not drinking at all (like you during the work week).

Most of us previously lead lives that revolved around alcohol, or at least that featured alcohol in a lead role. So getting sober did have a big impact beyond our own sobriety. My experience is that I like what my life has become a lot more than what it was before (and was becoming). But these definitely aren't the kinds of changes anybody can realistically be expected to make when they still believe they have other choices. I sure wouldn't have.