The amazing thing to me is that even though you know from experience how it will turn out, you do it anyway. It's not a knock on you, it's how powerful alcohol can be that it basically forces you to make the clearly worse of two decisions.

It's been said that Strawberry and Gooden didn't have a drug problem as much as a drinking problem...but the drinking always led to the coke. If they didn't drink...no coke.

I remember one time I was sitting at a sports bar playing trivia and basically minding my business when I overheard 3-4 people at the next table talk about their glory days of coke partying some years prior. While what they were saying was "man so glad we aren't caught up in that scene anymore", the tone of their voice clearly suggested "I wish one of you would suggest buying a gram or two because I totally want to do some right now". They were paying lip service but their heart wasn't in it.

Most of the time I can drink w/o coke. It's just that one group of friends now that is the big trouble spot. And combined with me under a lot of pressure from losing weight and having a ton of **** to do and running bad at poker. But also me being in a really good mood leading up to Sat. night, which is always a big danger spot for me. It's like a car wreck, it takes 3 or 4 factors all going wrong together. I just have to stay away from that group, for a long time. I don't know how they keep doing it.

I made it 3 months with no major episodes. Which is a pretty good amount of time for me. But the bad part was I had 2 times in between there where I did a few lines and either passed out, or there wasn't any more to be had so I was content. I knew I was playing with fire but I thought it was a sign I could control myself and had passed into a new zone where I could just do a little to wake up and get with the party. lol - like you said the capacity of the mind to lie to itself to get what it wants is pretty impressive. No those times really just whetted my whistle, and I over-indulged the first chance I got.

Still damn near suicidal. I had an anxiety attack at Starbucks this morning while reading a book about the financial crisis - which is usually an enjoyable subject for me. I still had a lot of time to kill in the Valley so I wound up going hiking. I ended up having a phone therapy session from the trail since I had missed my normal appt. on Monday due to extreme cracked-outedness (just a term, I didn't smoke crack). I'd like to think I'm the only person to ever have a phone therapy session on that trail.

The amazing thing is I knew I had a big project that was due this Friday that I've basically ****ed up now. It may or may not matter. But still.

Anyway thanks for letting me vent.

I managed to quit for a little over a month but relapsed big time. Need to quit again, probably forever. I'm fortunate I never got mixed up with any other drugs, I hope those of you who have can work it out. As much as I struggle with only alcohol, I cannot even imagine what you are going through.

suzzer, sorry to hear that. what kind of feelings do you get the days following your use? is it just constant withdrawl or the drug is so hard it takes a week to flush it out of your system?

hobbies, hobbies, hobbies, thats what I have replaced most of my degeneracy with. I think I am manic or something along those lines, as I got into a pattern of sober mon-thurs, while Im sober my energy levels skyrocketed so on fridays I was bouncing off the walls, in a great mood etc....so naturally, to calm down a little bit I would get tanked/do some blow/smoke 3 cigs at a time etc/fight some douche bags/and have some strippers over to take a bath (yes, happened) , then be depressed/feel like ****/anxiety attacks/hyperventilate/worry about wall street stealing all our money/how our govt is facist etc Saturdays into sundays night/monday morning and start all over again as the week went on. Finally one friday like 3 months ago, I just decided to spend Friday night in the gym, got there at 5 and worked out until I started throwing up at about 7:30 (I typically workout for an hour 3 days a week, and run 20 minutes 3 days a week). completely took the fight out of me, and Saturday, I was sore etc, and could go out and just have a drink or two and not have tons off excess energy. Keeping the mind occupied, poker and computers mainly during the week, helps me to fall asleep (when I used to try to fall asleep, I could "hear" my eyes bouncing around in my head, and had restless body syndrome for hours)

did you own/run a nightclub guids? i think that would contribute a ton to degeneracy, basically unlimited alcohol at all times and late nights.

i did, but it didnt (other than the women aspect), I literally worked 14 - 16 hour (physically taxing) days 6 or 7 days a week and was exhausted most of the time, dealing with drunks @ night, also makes you not want to drink. For me, being idle is what gets me into trouble. That isnt to say I didnt pull a few 48+ hour weekends w/o sleep, but compared to my previous life, it wasnt a big deal.

I recommend avoiding the politards forum on this site during these times.

I think mostly it's just chemical depression caused by the big seratonin drain of doing it + guilt depression from falling off the wagon + maybe some residual effects of flushing the drug through your system. The chemical depression (which I'm assuming is seratonin depletion - I get it if I do E now too) thing has really kicked in in the last 5 years or so. Getting old + too much usage I'm guessing.

Think I'm finally taking the plunge too. I just started a prescription that strongly warns against mixing with alcohol (I assume most do but this seemed more serious). My current level of intake is absurd; this is as good a time as any.

I was always a "normal drinker" in college and for the first few years after graduation. Bingeing on weekends fairly often, but rarely during the week and never during the day. I discovered that a drink before I do something during the day helped with some minor but normal anxiety problems, but I unfortunately now know that just makes the problems worse in the long run and fuels the need for more alcohol. So, the drinking was steadily increasing, and then I moved to St. Thomas for awhile to live amongst a community of sailors where drinking during the day was encouraged, and I loved it! Rum was cheap, everyone was always drunk, and it really was a great time, but I'm finding this to be less tolerated now that I'm back in US proper. (Aside: Didn't you live in St. Thomas, suzzer? Guess there's something in the Cruzan.)

I'm clearly not saying this in a LOOK HOW MUCH I CAN DRINK way--I'm mainly curious if other serious drinkers are/were at or above this level--but I've been buying a new handle of rum or vodka probably on average every three days, sometimes two. The drinks are spread out from afternoon to night, and I'm still pretty highly functioning (was even getting a little chubby and I managed to lose about 20 lbs while continuing this intake), but when all I have to function highly at is golf during the day, and poker/bars at night it's not too hard. Recently I spent all day at the course, bought a fifth before I got there, finished it later that night and at no point during the day was drunk--seemed worrisome.

First 24 hour period in a very long time that I haven't had a drink. Not entirely sure I should even be completely abstaining now. Is that dangerous? My doctor thought I'd be okay. I feel fine but my hands are a little shaky. Anyway, guess I just wanted to post here because I enjoyed reading this thread and I learned a lot. thanks

i think it's "wet your whistle", right?

My friend's younger brother died from mixing alcohol with a prescription after they warned against it. Pretty sure you're much safer abstaining.

In severe cases of alcohol dependence you do need medical help to abstain or you could die. Since his doctor said it would be ok to abstain hopefully we can trust that medical opinion though, as those cases are probably for only the most extreme alcoholics.

I don't know... I think I'd find a new doctor. How long you've been keeping up with that schedule? I would think that kind of routine would require benzos or something. However, if you're taking a med that you can't take alcohol with, you have to find a different solution (not that you could wean off alcohol). There are meds when mixed with booze that can cause very serious complications and not just a reduced effect of the drug, or whatever. Hopefully one of the MDs will chime in on this.

His case seems pretty extreme to me. I know there are worse, but he's polishing 1.75 liters in 2-3 days. That's like what, 13 -20 shots a day?

At the very least I'd get a script for some benzos to keep on hand just in case. I learned a pretty costly lesson by ending up in the er a little under a week after quitting when a few xanax probably would have done the same job for a couple grand less

Yeah I would recommend a 2nd opinion. Can your prescription be postponed to get off or your alcohol dependence first if need be? I would keep abstaining from alcohol and taking your prescription as instructed by your doctor but this is definitely something you might want to research a little more just to be safe.

EDIT: Responding to Mitch but my question/advice directed towards Keyser.

Roughly a year, but with a lot of fluctuations. From like March-August a handle every two days was pretty standard. I drank less during the winter, and even went 10 days without drinking in December with no problems). Been drinking a lot more for the past few weeks since it's nice outside and I've been more active which makes me feel like I burn it off faster (not sure if that is true physiologically).

First thing tomorrow I'll call my doctor and make sure he knew exactly how much I was drinking, and I know a Doctor of Psychology who works with this stuff so I'll get a second opinion from him.

I'd imagine. I've only taken the first dose. (Fwiw it's Paxil, which from my understanding isn't that dangerous to mix with low levels of alcohol--some of the things I read just scared me a little)

Could you elaborate on your symptoms? Did it happen suddenly or gradually get the point it required hospitalization? I've been reading everything about alcohol withdrawal for the last few hours but I'd appreciate a first hand account.

See another doctor.
How could you possibly be correctly diagnosed for paxil while drinking that amount of alcohol?

Sorry if I missed it, but what were you diagnosed with? I have no idea what Paxil is for.

the human condition

Sigh, me being ******ed has something to do it with (no judging plz). I definitely stretched the truth a little, told him I had gotten down to two drinks a night. I hadn't really, but I thought I could; I just wanted a little extra boost for anxiety purposes before I cut down.

anxiety for me, but it's also an anti-deppressant. I'm not just saying this, but it's true and seems important in determining if my doctor is a quack--I really don't have any serious depressive problems and was apprehensive about SSRIs but he thought it'd be a good fit. I had tried xanax before but did not like it. All my friends told me I was a much different person while on it, so he recommended this.

No judgment here.
Being honest with your doctor is a good first step. (He's probably heard it all before)

Many alcoholics are helped by anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds. (I personally like my effexor)
Just watch out for the addictive ones.

How could you assume that a random on an internet poker forum would know more about your diagnosis and how to treat it than your dr would.