You can't find stuff to do in Newton, Iowa? Shocked!

The people who are finding the religious aspects of AA should definatly check this site out. I went to AA but found it unrealistic and it wont work for everyone. The SMART program articulates everything that i thought about AA and is secular and science based. Ty sandcrab for linking it, it really opened my eyes.

I was a wine drinker, drinking it almost every night to calm me down. Then one night two months ago, I threw up six times after drinking the entire bottle without eating all day. Stupid me and I paid for it dearly that night. Haven't picked up wine since.

I skipped my usual Super Bowl party yesterday. It's an extremely drinking-oriented event - one friend makes a couple bottles of jalapeno-infused vodka and many shots are done in honor of another friend's father who passed away 10+ years ago. This group of friends is also not very understanding of my decision to quit drinking, and I just don't need the hassle.

So yesterday was weird. My son and I hung out, went to the park, watched a little of the game. Sad that I felt I needed to isolate myself from parties, etc, which isn't anyone's fault but my own. I still have a lot to learn about sober living, I can't let it simply mean I have to stay away from other adults.

After quitting drinking myself, I stumbled upon a book called "Drinking - A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. It's pretty interesting if you want to understand what goes on inside the head of an alcoholic.

I watched the NCAA championship game and conference championship games with drunk friends and didn't have a drop. Wasn't that hard. Just give it a try. Tell them you're pregnant.

Of course I got hammered for the SB party which led to the usual extra-curricular stuff which I am now paying for in the form of semi-crippling temporary depression. This is my biggest bugaboo - alcohol leads to harder drugs. So I'm shooting for no drinking until my birthday (3/28) and somehow avoid the other stuff too this time. I need smaller realistic goals. I don't know if cold turkey would work for me. I just am going to keep extending out my goal time.

After reading the LFS post I suppose I'm lucky in that I went to the usual parties for the game and wasn't remotely tempted to drink although everyone else was imbibing. Also, I've been to a few bars and a few social events the last couple of months when on the wagon and nobody has seemingly noticed I wasn't drinking alcohol or they didn't care. I could see where it would be really annoying to be pressured to drink by friends. That sort of coercion should be left behind in college.

Really, I have very little problem refusing the first drink, the last year or so I've avoided it far more than I've sought it out. It's all the drinks after the first one that I have a harder time turning down...

I had been thinking about this thread fairly often since it originally came out...and thinking to myself "hmm - I should think about doing that".

I wasn't really a huge drinker (most of the time) - but was finding it VERY easy to get home from work and have 2-4 drinks every night. I was also aware that after those drinks, I tended to slip into my shell - be a little less patient with the kids - be more selfish with my time/activities - all bad things ldo

So - I decided to cut back

in the last month - I've had two social occasions. Time's where I normally would have drank a lot in order to bury my insecurities and social awkwardness. At both occasions I had only a single drink - and in all honesty - was saying to myself that night and the next day - why did I even have that one??

Then I had a cruise - and I definitely drank less than I normally would have - but still lived it up vacation style.

I can't even explain how much better I feel just from dropping those 2-4 drinks per night. I wake up with more energy. I am a better father and a better husband. And, I've kind of gotten excited about the 'streak' / challenge aspect of it - I guess the fact that I feel 'proud' that I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks should tell me that it really was a problem for me.

All in all - it has been a great 2 months for me - and I'm beginning to believe that for me, alcohol at social events was actually hurting me more than it was helping me (I'm more confident without / less worried about what I say without / etc / etc).

So - thanks LFS and others who contributed in this thread - I look forward to hearing some updates from others.

Suzzer is dead on with this advice btw. Try volunteering at a local childrens hospital or clinic or university. Get involved. Life sometimes takes a lot of effort.

I myself am definitely cutting back on drinking because I don't want to be unhealthy in 20 years. I have friends that are definitely alcoholics, and I have no idea how to help them.

Thank you for posting that, I'm so glad that it's had a positive effect on your life.

I'm coming up on six months sober. I'm committed to never drinking again. As I've said a bunch of times in this thread, NOT drinking isn't hard. Dealing with everyday life sober is occasionally challenging. I had to go see a client do stand-up comedy last Friday night, something I previously would've NEVER done sober. But it was fine, I didn't enjoy it any less than I would have. But when I got home my wife commented how nice it was to not worry how late or drunk I'd be when I got home. That means a lot.

A friend from college is having his bachelor party in Vegas in May, I'm tentatively thinking of making a day trip out of it. Between dinner and poker I'm pretty sure being sober in LV won't be THAT bad. Weird, yes, but I'm kind of looking forward to the challenge.

A cruise, wow that would definitely be my kryptonite when it comes to staying off the sauce. Not driving? Check. (Well I sure as hell not better be driving...) Smuggled in booze? Check. Awkward social situations best managed by "taking the edge off" with a drink? Check. Although after reading the David Foster Wallace story about his cruise experience I'm not really tempted to go regardless so this may never come up.

I'm at five weeks and counting without a drink, following as I've mentioned before a couple of recent dry stretches that were 1-2 weeks in length. I wasn't really committed to a long-term stoppage with those though - when I resumed drinking I wasn't fighting the urge or ashamed for doing it.

Now, as Loss Tee noted about himself, I've got a streak going that I want to keep alive. Also, I don't have more energy per se but I keep getting compliments that I've lost weight. Well, not really - they say that in the absence of alcohol the body seeks out replacement sugar. I've never been a chocolate/sweets guy but I've been absolutely gorging myself on candy bars. Not gaining weight though. Getting up every morning at around 5AM to work out has helped body shape, which is making it look like I've lost weight.

Just all in all a good call, and it's good to hear some of the other positive results as well.

Whatever works.

Loss Tee, awesome story. It's really heartwarming to hear you care so much about being a better father. I bet the pride from that will only make you stronger in your resolve. Which will make you an even better father/role-model, etc. Sort of the opposite of the shame-spiral.

I've drank once since New Year's, at Irie's superbowl party. It was fun but also set me way back. I haven't had much problem going a month-ish at a time or with cravings. But I've got a pretty big test coming up this weekend in my friend's birthday party/pub crawl. I missed his 40th birthday last year and felt terrible, and I really want to keep up ties with this group of friends. There's a lot of girls in it, who know a lot more girls, and when I lose my last 20 I have a feeling I may meet someone through that group.

So I can't decide to just do the pub crawl and not drink, or try to just drink like 6 light beers. In the past a night like this, when I hadn't partied in a while, would end in a coke all-nighter about 80-90% of the time. If I start drinking I know this is a real possibility unless I give a friend my wallet before hand, and tell my dealer not to extend me credit - which is always a little embarrassing but doable.

Or I could just not drink. I've made it through 2 major sporting events now w/o drinking and it wasn't too bad. But I dunno about a pub crawl. I'm thinking the best bet is just to drink club soda and bow out when they all start to get super lit up. I'm right in the middle of a major fitness push to lose the last 20 lbs. and a coke night (with the ensuing 3-5 day depression, eating like crap, lack of energy) always sets me back 2 weeks minimum (a week of down time, and then a week to get back down to where I was before the coke night).

Or I could just say - dammit I'm going to be strong enough to drink a few beers and not do coke. Hmmmm. Then the shots will come out. Gotta do one shot with the buddies right? Don't want to seem like a little bitch.

this is like our own lil interweb aa sesh. keep it up lfs and all the rest trying to live a better life. its tough

Most of my life I have considered myself an Atheist. However, addiction can be a very humbling experience. When you obtain a certain level of desperation you start looking for something beyond yourself. I have since embraced the spiritual principle of open-mindedness. I see myself now as being about a 1/10 as smart as I thought I was and it's okay for me to admit that I don't know.

All right I'm permanently quitting drinking. 1st day without a drink today.

Thanks for the positive responses fella's -

I kind of wish I had gone without on the cruise - and I think I could have pretty easily - I just didn't want to make it all about me (explaining why / etc) - we were there with my family and another family.

But I feel pretty confident going forward - and even though (due to the cruise) - my current streak is only 4 days - I know I will get back up there.

Suzzer - I don't know your personal story - but my advice would be - stay strong.

Yes there will be pressure - yes there will be some jokes - but what a challenge! something you can really be proud of after accomplishing it

And beyond that - some of these girls in your circle of friends - a guy not drinking when everyone else is will stand out....that guy will be remembered - and whether it's now - or when you 'lose those last 20 pounds' - being memorable for something good is never a bad thing


edit: this is loss tee - 1 account at home - 1 at work since I can never remember the damn password - this way i never have to log in

Ugh, I felt like crap today. Headache, irritable, very thirsty, craving sugary drinks. Drank like two big glasses of orange juice in one sitting. I guess I have a physical dependence on alcohol. Not good, so it's good that I'm quitting. This past year or so I've been drinking nearly every day, but I rarely get drunk. Just drink a six pack or a couple of double scotches. I very rarely wake up with a hangover. Sigh. It's too bad, I just love trying new beers and scotches. Oh well. But I'm pretty sure I can't limit myself to drinking just a couple of beers; if I buy a six pack it is gone that night 100% of the time.

I'm really stressing about this weekend. How am I going to go on a pub crawl that starts at 1pm and not get shnockered? I guess I could show up late, but then they'd all be drunk. I think the only answer is to go early and just not drink. Hang out until they get too annoyingly drunk, then come back and go to work at poker. Every other option ends with me pulling an all-nighter and setting myself back 2-3 weeks on all my current short-term goals.

good luck with everything

I recommend not drinking or doing coke.

Yeah thanks. I'd never do coke sober. But over 6 drinks doing coke becomes very likely. And after 3 drinks, 6 drinks becomes a lot more likely. Basically if I drink I'll just need to give someone my keys and wallet and instructions for the one local dealer not to extend me credit. Pathetic I know.

arrive late and leave early suzzer

Well christ, good for you!...

WTF kind of comment is this.

I didn't realize this until someone told me, but in the absence of alcohol your body craves the sugar that alcohol used to provide. I have NEVER been a person for sweets - it's the one thing that's saved me from being a huge fatass. However, since this long-term abstinence has begun I'm absolutely slaying whole boxes of candy bars. One day over the weekend I think I had 7-8 full size candy bars, totally ridiculous. I've kind of been enabled by that comment about sugar, like I'm doing it to placate my body so it's OK. On the plus side I've gained exactly zero weight because all the workouts have sped up my metabolism.

Also, in Costco yesterday - same place I bought the 30 pack of candy bars last week - I noticed bags of Ghirardelli caramel squares, fifty for only $10. Can't afford not to! I even found myself getting annoyed at a chick visiting our office for the last couple of days who kept coming over to my desk to sponge them from me. Like I was worried about running low. Not normal.

Anyway, stick with it. On the plus side I feel as good as I've felt in a long time. See if you can put a few weeks behind you and find out for yourself.