Quote:
Originally Posted by whatthejish
I don’t know how people live life stone cold sober, but I guess that’s sort of the problem for me.
I relate so much to this and can remember feeling this way. Like if you look back at my posts about 6 months after making this thread I was like "ok well I guess life is just a colorless, drab, grinding of days until the sweet release of death, but by God I'm going to keep doing this".
That did not work out for me! And it won't work out for me today. If I go back to living that way again I'll end up killing myself.
The program I work today is not easy. It's a daily commitment. But life actually has some meaning, which it never did back then. I actually think about other people before myself most of the time. On top of that, the other choices (drinking/using and/or dying) are so much worse than my worst day the way my life is now.
For someone like me, things had to get
really bad before I'd consider doing the stuff I do today. Believe me, if I thought there was anything left in the tank I'd be out there burning it.