it gets easy fast

Life without alcohol seems like a fairly untenable proposition to me. That's a personal statement, not a criticism of LFS or anyone elses' attempts at sobriety itt. Although I probably drink more than I should (read: definitely), I enjoy it far too much and associated it intensely with almost everything I really enjoy: socializing, sexy times, food, sports, music, etc.

I think realizing this has almost paradoxically prevented me from becoming a full-blown alcoholic, b/c I realize that if I went too far down that road, I'd have to totally give it up, which seems really depressing.

As I become older this is one of many factors that has significantly moderated my drinking. The thought of someday not being able to enjoy an excellent beer, a glass of wine with a nice meal or an occasional tasty spirit has done more to limit my current drinking than almost any other reason. Plus I have grown quite weary of being impaired.

Yeah, the shine is definitely off getting wrecked for me. I think when you're in your twenties you can do it unselfconsciously--just get drunk and act the fool, and who cares? But as you get into your thirties, that loss of control (at least for me) has become increasingly embarrassing. I hate the thought of being "that guy" these days.

Where does a 25 yo meet new people? The bar obviously, but this doesn't exactly work for my goals. I honestly want to get out of this cycle, and make an entire new group of friends, but I don't know how to do this. My current options are to continue drinking more than I should, but actually have a moderately entertaining social life on the weekends, or Stop drinking, sit at home on 2+2 on the weekends and more or less give the finger to everyone who I currently consider an acquaintance.

TBH the choice is WAY harder than just "put down the drink".

Most universities have recreation programs that non-students can participate in alongside students. I've taken private pilot ground school, sailing, surfing, and diving classes in the last 3 years, have met some great people, and heavy drinking or clubbing has never even come up.

Just stop hanging out with degens.

I wish I had some constructive advice for other people struggling with this.

All I can say is that it's a wholesale change. While my life is full of adult activities that drinking isn't normally associated with, believe me it was still an enormous part of my identity.

If I could go back to when I was 25 and make the enormous changes that would've been necessary to stop drinking, I would do it in an instant. One of the things I'm dealing with right now is the feeling that I wasted literally years of the "best" me. I have very high expectations for myself and I'm filled with shame that I squandered so much time. Until recently my life's only regret was not ****ing more women in college, but this is much bigger.

I continue to believe that for me drinking was a symptom of larger (or just other) problems. I don't know if that's true for everyone, but as much as possible I'd encourage looking at any issues with depression, self-esteem, etc, as a way to get to the root of the problem.

Best of luck.

This isn't meant facetiously, but have you ever tried just not drinking so much? I know it seems like a stupidly obvious thing to say, but it helped me to realize I could drink w/out going for broke.

Like, go out with your drinking friends, but don't pregame, drink slowly, have a water every now and then, drink Guinness (this is a new alcohol-cutting trick of mine, b/c it has relatively low alc content), don't do shots, etc.

It's impossible. The second I'm around people who are drunk, and I'm not drunk it sucks balls.

Well, I'm not saying don't get drunk, just don't get pukingly, hate-yourself-and-want-to-die-in-the-morning drunk. There is a difference.

I'm with you on this LFS...I consciously stopped drinking after my latest Vegas trip over Halloween '09. I've never had any issues with drinking or stopping when I want but I just started to loathe the feeling of a hangover and just getting bored with the feeling of being intoxicated. I've gotten drunk once since then and probably won't drink again for another few months.

I also do not enjoy the experience of going to a bar and not drinking, so for me so far it's been a delicate balance of hanging out with friends/keeping relationships while not going to bars/clubs nearly as often as I have. I find it interesting that over time you see who you actually have stuff in common with as your "going out" friends are merely just that, a superficial type of friendship coated by a layer of alcohol.

You could try meetup.com for local groups that fit your interests.

Are there any groups like AA that aren't religious? My girlfriend recently told me she is becoming an alcoholic, but we're both atheists, so she has no interest in "admitting to a higher power" or whatever AA tells you to do.

Any suggestions?

There are places other than bars to meet new people - work, organized athletic activities like volleyball or softball, dating someone is a great way because you get to know her friends really quick, volunteer some place with hot chicks.

I agree it's not easy. But it's not impossible either if you put yourself out there, and are open to people that don't think and act exactly like your current set of friends. That's the problem with a lot of my friends from my early 20s. We basically used to think everyone else who didn't think like us, including most girls, was stupid. Like literally we might not want to be friends with you if you liked the wrong kind of music. Some of them have never really grown out of that. It's sad.

Substitute alcohol with cocaine and this paragraph fits me pretty well. But then again the alcohol always fueled the cocaine.

The one thing I always try to drill into the kid I help raise is to stay away from coke. I hope it's sinking in.

Google is probably your friend on this one. There are most definitely alternatives that people have said works for them better that AA but I can't remember what they are now off the top of my head.

AA isn't the solution for everyone by any means. Although it's also my understanding that the whole "higher power" thing isn't necessary religious as much as it is admitting powerlessness and turning oneself over to something else, basically saying I can't do this on my own, I need help.

In AA the higher power can be AA itself. It doesn't have to be God.

Yeah, I get hung up on this when I think about going to AA (which I should probably be doing). Everyone thinks higher power means God. A higher power just means it's something that's out your control, and admitting that is one of the first steps IIRC.

I still don't go though.

Alcohol abuse counseling is covered by a lot of insurance plans. You can take an online survey or a phone survey, and if you're cleared, you can go to any therapist or counselor that takes that insurance. Just have to pay co-pays for every visit. You can probably find a counselor who doesn't do the whole AA thing or one who stresses responsible drinking over abstinence. They most likely also have connections to group meetings, online communities, whatever.

I have only attended a few meetings but the religious feel of it was pretty overwhelming to me.

I did go to the type of counseling that Scottie talked about, but paid for it out of pocket. I am much better at moderating my intake when I do drink, which is 3-4 times/month now, compared to 5-6 times/week before.

Good luck to everyone that is on the road to a better place.

I've recently quit drinking every night and only drink once a week or less and I don't get trashed anymore. Reading the condensed 12 Step AA book was a really big help in gaining insight into drinking. I recommend it, it's pretty deep.

yes !! i recommend this too. i found a photography group to join through there. it's a lot of fun to get together w/ random people to take pics , the guy organizing it is pretty awesome with the events he puts together, it's grown a lot since it first started. and everyone's really friendly. i've only gone a few times but it's always really cool. in the past i never would have seen myself getting together with a group of random strangers, but i am glad i did even though i haven't made any real friends from it yet. it still gives me something to do to with other people that i enjoy. it's a really positive group of people and i'm glad i found it. there are a lot of different kinds of groups on that site too.

I haven't used it myself, but I have a cousin that does. For example, one guy has a movie group and a bunch of people join him to go see a movie at a certain date and time. Seems like a good low risk option for people looking to give their social life some variety.

Using the search function for meetup.com the first result was a group to defend marriage, because apparently the homosexuals will kill us all. http://www.meetup.com/dmjasper/

Even after expanding my search range, the majority of the groups listed are not my cup of tea.

good luck with your path.
a former very good friend quitted alcohol which was good for his health but honestly he turned in the years after that to such a wussy its ridiculous.
its mean to say, but he was fun in the time he was drinking (he was a periodical drinker) and between but since he quitted he got no balls at all.
he turned into a shy oistriche while in the past he was quite a party animal.