My bf is currently trying to give up smoking. It has been a bit of an ongoing process where he has been gradually cutting back. He is now at the point he doesn't smoke at work and probably has 6-8 cigarettes outside of work per day. The plan is to keep cutting back and then in a couple of months quit completely.

This is really great and I am hoping quitting will stick this time around. Negatives are that he is not nearly as easygoing while he is going through withdrawal. I understand this and try not to take his grumpiness personally. Basically I am just wondering if people have any suggestions in how I can help him in the process. I want to encourage him obviously but not nag him about it. He says that when he has given up in the past he really misses it. What sorts of things have people done to try and replace the void of smoking?

Any input would be appreciated.

Be prepared for him to get fat.

This has actually crossed my mind because he is way more hungry now then he was before cutting back so I assume it will only get worse. He takes salads to work most days but I may start making some sort of healthyish snack for him to take for his other breaks otherwise he may be tempted by popping out and buying junk.

the absolute most effective way to kick a mental addiction is to substitute the bad habit with another habit. ideally, you could spin this into a positive by transitioning to a positive habit like running or painting or mopping floors. ideally you would be addicted to something that makes money instead of smoking so try yardwork instead of smoking or maybe stock trading instead of smoking. hope this helps

SA,

I think you are pretty spot on. My friend took up running when he gave up smoking and he said it pretty much kept him on track. I was thinking about putting a kettle bell next to his morning cup of coffee but possibly that may be considered a little passive aggressive with his sense of humour being diminished atm

Put something else into his mouth *wink wink*

almost

And (more) irritable.

https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/3...oking-1182285/

If he messes up, don't make him feel guilty or bad. Be supportive the entire time. Don't make him quitting about you or about your relationship; its completely about what is going on in his head.
Send him encouraging messages throughout the day.

Fortify within his mind how smokers are pretty nasty. I looked around at all the loser acquaintances I knew that smoked, and that provided inducement.

MLYLT,

If you have something to say to code, why don't you just PM him?

Posts like that are why people are saying you're only able to give advice that applies to you, by the way.

Been with my wife for 3 years and been smoking on and off during that time . We 're great but only time it gets rough is when I'm going through the first week or two of smoking withdrawals but to answer your question just be there for him , surprise him in the bedroom , be a nurse , etc ....

Also he should look into chantix, I've successfully quit using it 3 times and works like a charm but just like others said just support him as much as u can emotionally and physically as messoganistic as that sounds

Any idea how long the irritability generally lasts for?

Thanks for the link Emily, it could be something to consider.

I don't try to make him feel guilty for smoking. I met him that way and accepted it so it would be a bit weird to not accept him now. Probably the only time I may have inadvertently guilt tripped him was when my mum died of mouth and throat cancer and I was grieving. I may have said something like "How the **** can you keep smoking when you saw what my mum just went through?". It was a genuine question though as I was pretty mystified that anyone seeing someone they love going through that would continue to smoke. I haven't referred to it since though. It's 100% his decision and if he quits and then restarts again that's up to him. Every time someone trys quitting is a step closer to actually quitting Imo, so it's all a positive.

I'm not sure he would appreciate messages regarding quitting being sent to him but it's something to consider. Thanks for your POV.

I don't think I could do this lol but thanks for the idea

Fabian,

I couldn't resist

Thanks Chronic. I'll definitely look into chantix. I don't think it's misogynistic at all what you are suggesting, I would hope if the roles were reversed my bf would be just as supportive for me

Yeah. Code’s ultimatum could extend your life 20 years, what a douche.

I wish to have a strong relationship where I’d even consider changing my existence for the other half. Cig smoking will have to cease if my future wife wants to procreate with me, non negotiable.

RexX,

Maybe if you quit or work on a habit alongside the hubster (hubby) it could be extra supportive.

Clearly not.

There is nicotine withdrawal and there is psycological component to it. Nicotine patches, gums......? Try to get less into situations, where he habitually lit a cigarette? Substitute cigarette after sex with an apple or carrot? Generally put something else in his mouth is a good thought. The question is what.....

edit: I need a new keyboard. Few letters either don't appear after a hit or appear double.

Tuma,

I was thinking of giving up wine as a way to show support. I don't drink every night but maybe if I am also going without something I enjoy he would appreciate it and feel supported. Thanks for the suggestion

Lapka,

I agree with you that there are 2 components to him giving up. While I realise nicotine is tough to kick, I do think it is the psychological part he struggles with the most. He doesn't do drugs and barely drinks so smoking is like his treat/stress relief. He has been talking about going and playing social table tennis and I am trying to get him to play social doubles in tennis. Hopefully he can get addicted to exercise instead of the cigs. He is reasonably decent at sports, just a bit rusty.

Rexx,
Usually the first few months are the worst. Generally fades around the 4-6mth mark ime.

Rexx,

Best of luck to both of you. I've never smoked, but my dad was a heavy smoker for many years. I remember him telling me after he quit, a really hard thing to overcome was physical triggers. For him, it was something like, after dinner, he'd watch the news in his recliner and light up. Or a cup of coffee was always with a smoke; so drinking the coffee made him want a cig.

If you can identify some of those physical triggers, maybe you can substitute with something more healthy (have an apple instead or something?)

Heroball,

So 4-6 months plus the few months he is cutting down Sounds like I'm in for a fun year lol. Nm the end result will be worth it (fingers crossed).

Golddog,

I have also heard about the physical triggers. I think if he still drank alcohol on a regular basis it would be extremely difficult to not want a cigarette. The coffee trigger is something I think would be good to address as well.

Thankfully he only ever smokes outside so he doesn't associate TV or anything in the house with smoking. After meals may be a difficult time. Lots to think about. It's pretty difficult for someone to quit something they have been doing so long and enjoy. I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

Buy his prescription of Chantix for 3 months ($350-$400/month), could be <3 mths depending.

Easy game

Signed,
Chantix Survivor

... 2 years smokeless (cept for medical marijuana) best thing I ever did. I can literally smell someone peeling an orange in another room now and can taste stuff.


P.S. Dreams were awesome, had no more suicide thoughts than normal, never beat anyone or felt the urge to do so... shorter on patience maybe

Another great thing to do while going through smoking withdrawals is to constantly stay busy , I recall cleaning out the apartment and doing all kinds of errands just to keep myself busy tried to play as much sports as possible too. I mean he has to want to quit too else it's easy to give in to the urge of going back like
-more stamina in bed
-not smelling like ****
- for sake of the kids if you have any
Etc....

One thing my wife used to do when I smoked would be to put a picture of her with our son on my pack of smokes everyday and write something different on it everyday while I was trying to quit