And people saying to be nonchalant respectwise towards Law enforcement have no clue wtf they are talking about

every time I have done coke none of that shiot has even remotely entered my mind and Im sure it never will

Ya I think I would default to your "coke in the kitchen, serve yourself" scenario unless I was in a busto situation (kinda like now) in which case I wouldn't do coke. But it all makes sense and I now know coke etiquette if I'm ever offered some (which I'll take).

To get free fast food, go to a drive thru at a busy time where they have two windows, the first to pay at. Pull up to the first window and tell the cashier you need napkins or a tap water and at the second window accept whatever food they give you, the food ordered by the car behind you. Worked like a charm in high school.

How do you live with yourself doing that kind of crap?

If you have to give a eulogy, email family members and ask them what their favorite memories of that person are. Copy and paste said emails and change the wording so they sound natural coming from you. Add in details about the person not included in any of the stories and memorize.

This works especially good if you are not a good public speaker because stories are easier to remember and your family will write most of your speech for you. Furthermore the speech will be more nostalgic because it will include everyone's stories, not just yours.

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When making a frozen pizza, add parmesan cheese, oregano (a good dusting), red pepper flakes, and fresh ground pepper before putting in the oven. Everything will cook right into the cheese and toppings. It can make a $3 cardboard tasting pizza taste better than delivery. But it's not delivery, it's Jacks!

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If a backache is keeping you from sleeping, put a pillow under the small of your back. The pain will be gone and you will be able to sleep.

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Put cottage cheese on your baked potato, but only in portions you are ready to eat at that moment. The coldness of the cottage cheese and the warm starchiness of the potato are a combination that people greatly underestimate. If you put cottage cheese on the whole thing it will get warm and generally ruin the experience. Same goes for sour cream.

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If you ever get crabs, choose two random specimans and place them in a jar. Poke your finger with a needle and put some blood on a leaf for them to enjoy. This way they will be free to reproduce in an environment that doesn't involve chewing on your peen.

Also to clean the inside of a microwave, put a damp cloth in and nuke it for 2-3 minutes. When done, wipe out with a dry cloth easily.

Haven't done it since I was 17, over a decade ago.

W.T.F.

HAHAH its funny because his first suggestions I was like "hmmm...that is good, I like that"

WTF Are you than supposed to put the jar around your junk? wtf? or are you just making sure the crab population doesnt die out?

Plan B:
Get an ice pick. Pour lighter fluid on your junk. Light it. Stab the little bastards as they run out of the fire.

At first, I thought he was talking about blue crabs from maryland....I was soooo confused. Well, I'm still confused, really

Surprised if no one has mentioned it, but don't buy women drinks.

So, with these products you're getting 'market exposure' with a minimum return of Zero [in many but not all cases], huge surrender fees, and while taking the credit risk of the insurer. Even a 'guaranteed' return of 4%, before fees, is fairly low. Sounds Awesome!

I am SO SHOCKED your father sells these! I'm sure the guys at BFI will be jumping all over themselves to invest in these, free mobniez for your family imo.

Secondly, there is an additional layer of commissions on these, and only an Idiot Boy like yourself would pretend otherwise.
Well played. NH sir.

Again, anyone with a modicum of math skills and a few hours reading up on index/bond/ETFs could replicate the same long-term return pattern at lower cost. It's really not that hard to figure out. And no surrender fees. And no credit risk from an insurer. And no 2nd layer of hudge commission fees.

As for the plan I oversee, people choose their own investments, that's what a 401[k] plan is. I don't force an asset allocation or investment on thousands of employees and hundreds of millions of dollars. If someone wants to put 100% of their $$ into a MMF earning 8 bps or Davis NY Venture or Pimco Real Return, that's up to them.

ed: Consumer Reports weighs in - 'But there are several reasons why we are not big fans of these products. Because there are several different methods of calculating interest, it’s very hard to compare products. The commissions on most of these annuities are high, so the insurance company that sponsors them pass on those costs to investors in the form of high fees. And since they’re classified as an insurance product, they are subject to fewer regulations than securities and may be sold by people who are not registered brokers.'

i think youre confusing the awesomeness of the gravy/fries combo with the ketchup/almost anything combo

Gravy on mashed potatoes sounds delicious, yet on fries it seems disgusting to me. Such a paradox.

try it. you will love it

mind blown

i feel the same way and didn't even make the connection

The gravy on fries thing, while intriguing, smells like spam to me. First the image is posted, later a person quotes the post and gives further details on where it can be purchased, subsequently a seemingly identical post is made. The responding posters both offer the name of the restaurant, the distance from a major neighboring city, and how they drive for hours to eat it.

It's an ad.

With that said, treat a princess like a whore and a whore like a princess.

amateur

This times a million. Kiss ass, be apologetic, look helpless and sorry. Appeal to the reason they became a cop in the first place. I've been pulled over maybe 50 times. Talked my way out of 2-3 DUIs and probably 20 tickets.

Lol everyone knows the best way to cure crabs is to shave off half your pubes, then light the other half on fire and jab the crabs with an ice pic as they jump out to escape the fire.

DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!

i wouldnt have over a thousand posts if i was just gonna put up ads.

The reason it sounded so similar is probably because the two of us have been friends for over 15 years. We also have been on the trip to Murphy's at least a dozen times. If you don't want the "World Famous" hot hamburger, suit yourself. But you are missing out on an awesome meal.