This is seriously paranoid, borderline schizo level ****. Be sure to lock your underwear away too dude, so they don't rub it on their snatch.

A little birdie told me if you pee on warts (he had no experience in the genital variety) they go away.

If you are surfing the web on a browser without add-ons, you need to get add ons. I used firefox without addons for like a year before i realized how much cool stuff was out there. I now regularly use nearly a dozen add ons and they've changed the way I use the internet.

Ive used Firefox for about 3 years now without addons lol.....elaborate please?

ime the add ons slow firefox down a ton.

I stayed in school so I can afford the expensive **** yo!

Then hire a maid to clean the knife.

I'm so poor I have to work as a housekeeper at an upscale hotel, catering to a bunch of rich yambags. I get even with them by using their toothbrushes to scratch my balls.

I guess you don't think they spit in your burrito at taco bell.

All companies ever preach about is teamwork when actually kicking your peers ass is the only way to get ahead in the company.

I understand why pens would come in handy, but what am I going to do with a corkscrew in my car?

Also to add my tip: When it's chilly outside, t-shirt + gloves or no shirt + gloves often keep you more comfortable when running than a long sleeve shirt will. Cheap finger gloves work better for this purpose than nicer and thicker winter or driving gloves.

I'm guessing to open a bottle of wine when you bring a hooker to your hotel room.

if you ever buy bottled water understand it is 100% for the convenience, it is no healthier and often times due to FDA loopholes is worse for you (if you sell the water in the same state it is bottled you don't need to run the same health checks you do whereas EPA has universal standards for tap water).

if you cook bacon, never throw the grease out, it is like the most useful cooking tool ever. store it in a cup or something in the fridge. there is no better substance for making sure things don't stick to pan and it has the bonus of adding some bacon-y goodness to your meal.

when you are shopping for something and you don't know where it is, just ask someone who works there. i do not understand why people spend 10 minutes wandering around looking through every inch of a store for something they want when there are people whose job it is to know where things are and tell you. i went to home depot once with two mechanical engineers because we had to build a flotation device and spent a good 20 minutes looking at pipes and valves, we tell one of the guys who works there what we are doing and in less than 5 minutes he has the entire thing basically assembled.

try to close memory intensive programs if you aren't using them, they occasionally have memory leaks that cause them to slow everything down if they are left open for along time.

don't be afraid of new things when it comes to computers, people get really attached to certain things (mail clients, browsers, operating systems) and don't want to change because they think it will be too much of a hassle. honestly you can make your life so much easier with a little bit of research and a willingness to learn to use a new program or whatever.

if you play the guitar don't pay a guitar tech at guitar center or wherever to restring your guitar, it really isn't that hard to do and they usually charge a pretty ridiculous fee for something that is so easy to do ($10-$20 sometimes).

if you are winding any sort of audio cable (i.e. microphone wire or monster cable) ALWAYS wind it with the natural curvature of the wire, never wind it like you would power transmitting cable (i.e. extension chord).

i don't know how many people have been told this but when they tell you that batteries have a memory and need to be run down completely before they are recharged it is a really dated concept that doesn't apply to most lithium ion batteries, though i'm pretty sure it is true of NiCad batteries.

Good job crushing an engineers soul.

i only recently discovered this but it is worth the extra block and dollar to get a real bagel with cream cheese than go to dunkin donuts (assuming this is possible)

Lithium Iron batteries perform best when they are kept continuously above 60% charged.

speaking of cables, never buy expensive hdmi cables as they should cost about $3-6 (monoprice.com) instead of $50 in a retail store; on top of that, they are identical quality too.


This is sort of a random one, but the optimal way to equally divide something for two people is NOT to let one person cut and the other person choose. That is unfair, because the cutter always gets screwed. You have to cut and then flip a coin, so that it's perfectly fair who gets what portion.

Don't buy old lithium ion batteries. Lithium batteries can be charged and recharged or drained completely, or hit with a hammer, or whatever, they'll do fine. But they have a natural degrading that increases with time and you can do nothing to reverse it. If you buy second-hand lithium ion batteries, it's really likely they are old and useless.

cream cheese goes on hot dogs.

if you're cold pushups are a really quick way to warm yourself up

This is really wrong, the HDMI cable is the key component in any HD TV set-up. The more you spend the better quality you will get, ideally for a perfect set-up you would need to spend roughly £100~ ($160~).

lol what? Most people are paying $40+ for cables that should only be $10, it's true.

this is bull**** and has been tested soooooooo many times, its only if your cable is very long this can become a issue.

stop listening to the guy who sold you the TV. The key component in an HDTV setup is the...HDTV. HDMI is digital, there is no signal quality.

This is too easy to game. In stead of zero chance of getting screwed by the cutter the other person has a 50% of getting screwed. The point of 'you cut I choose' is that the cutter cuts even so no one gets screwed.

Cut bacon strips in half and put them on a waffle preheated to medium. Two and half minutes then open iron and slightly move bacon around to make sure untouchted spots, hit the elements, two and a half more minutes again and perfect bacon every time.

Thanks Alton Brown!