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Old 06-19-2017, 12:31 AM   #4951
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

i guess it's pretty messed up that mly doesn't consider much of her daughter's interactions as consequential.
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Old 06-19-2017, 01:34 AM   #4952
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

mly, this post:

Quote:
Baaaa
There is no possibility of a future with him, that is very clear. But, I've got nothing else going on right now and we have fun together, I want the sex, and we already have a lot of plans for July....river trip+camping, 4th of July party, WPT, and moving. So, I'm just going to enjoy the good times while working on myself. When I feel mentally healthy enough and stabilized I'll let him go and start looking for someone. I want to work through my mental issues, get physically healthy, and be completely done with smoking before I try to get into another relationship. He knows that I want a life partner and that he wants to be alone, so moving forward I hope he will help me work on myself so that I can eventually find what I want.
is pretty messed up when you frame it in the context of your sex addiction (which iirc you have been talking about in therapy?) and the possible effects on your daughter.
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Old 06-19-2017, 01:54 AM   #4953
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

J,
She's not even thinking about her daughter so all that stuff is ok.
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Old 06-19-2017, 07:38 AM   #4954
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

Her not thinking of her daughter is why I would be motivated to keep giving advice. But she clearly doesn't care enough. Her daughter's a high priority, but about #3 on the list behind code and poker.
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Old 06-19-2017, 12:12 PM   #4955
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

5-14-17:

Quote:
I've been feeling really great for about a week now. I don't feel like I'm in a manic high state, but I'm skeptical because of my lack of sleep. I haven't slept more than 6hrs straight since last Tues night and I don't feel tired or lack energy. It's been a really long time since I haven't needed a ton of sleep from depression. I'm just feeling really good and I hope it means my depression is lifting and I'm not manic and going to crash hard next week.

A lot of happy thoughts today. Spent a lot of time with my daughter and we cooked dinner together. Got lots of kindergarten mother's day crafts and pure sweetness from my baby.

My boyfriend offered to come to me next weekend and I know he will mow for me and do my laundry and help with everything else I need to get done before moving the following weekend. I'm so thankful for all the many things he does for me. When I moved into this house it was just he and I doing all the moving and he did most of the work. He will also move me the weekend after next. I don't know what I would do without him. He is really working hard to show me he cares.

I've got a lot to do at work next week and I'm actually looking forward to going to work and being busy. I'm so incredibly lucky to have this job and work with the people I do. Everyone is caring and the company culture is amazing. They are letting me leave work whenever I need to go to therapy and I've been able to leave work early a few times when I was manic and they don't make me use my vacation time. I get to set my own schedule within reason that allows me to go to the gym before I have to get my daughter from daycare as well. The work is incredibly boaring, but I couldn't get this work life balance anywhere else....it's just awesome.

On 5-31-17:


Quote:
Originally Posted by MeLoveYouLongTime View Post
It's perfectly fine if no one post there, and is a more of a reflection on the viewers than myself and what I post.
I have a ton of good things in my life, and it's helping me to post about them so that's what matters.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ungoliant View Post
Is attempting to "rewire your brain" by writing romanticized fiction something your therapist recommended, or was that your idea?
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeLoveYouLongTime View Post
It's not romanticized. I have amazing people and things in my life and I have made some amazing, strong connections with different friends.
I read a study that showed how neuron pathways are formed when you complain and then complaining and being negative gives you a "good" feeling and it just becomes habit. The same thing happens when you focus on good things instead of complaining.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmakin View Post
So, not your therapist then. Got it. As always, you know best. Carry on.

Look forward to the code meltdown in two weeks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeLoveYouLongTime View Post
I think you meant since 3 PHD Pyschiatrist ruled out BPD.

I appreciate your concern Jmakin and said I'm being skeptical of my emotions, but I'm in complete control of my thoughts right now unlike when I'm manic. I'm completely under control. I'm conciously focusing on positive things in my life.

Maybe due to my past posting history, it's hard for you to accept that I really do have a lot of good stuff going on in life.
I don't think you have had a chance to read anything I post when I'm in a normal state, so you are immediately thinking I'm manic because I'm happy.
On 6-15-17:

Quote:
Originally Posted by MeLoveYouLongTime View Post
This is the way I see it now.
We both really like the sex, playing poker together, watching shows, hanging out. Ok, we can keep doing those things.

He doesn't really have conversations with me, but likes talking to his sister. Ok, he can talk to his sister and I can find a guy that likes talking to me.
He doesn't want to be affectionate with me. Ok, I'll find a really affectionate guy.
He doesn't want to acknowledge or care about my feelings. Fine, I'll find a guy that does.
He doesn't want marriage, I find a guy that does.
He doesn't like going to basketball games with me, but does with his sister. Good, he can go with her and I'll find a guy that wants to go with me.
He doesn't want me, I'll find a guy that does.

He wants sex, I'll give him sex because I want it too, but I'm going to get everything else I what I want.

so, I was off by one day. sue me.

And in a month, they'll be back together "working things out."

Surely you can see how insane this is, right M? It's literally the same thing every time and you seem oblivious to that fact.

Last edited by jmakin; 06-19-2017 at 12:19 PM.
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Old 06-19-2017, 12:19 PM   #4956
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

Also I am no longer giving code 0 culpability here. FFS think of the daughter dude.
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Old 06-19-2017, 12:28 PM   #4957
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmakin View Post
5-14-17:




On 5-31-17:












On 6-15-17:




so, I was off by one day. sue me.

And in a month, they'll be back together "working things out."

Surely you can see how insane this is, right M? It's literally the same thing every time and you seem oblivious to that fact.
What does code3 and I coming to a mutal agreement that we won't continue the relationship have to do with me having positive things in my life. Ive still got a lot going on and wonderful people in my life and I'm still going to focus on the positives. Yeah, we held on too long and he and myself didn't or couldn't see that our relationship would not be forever. He didn't want to admit or he didn't realize that he didn't want a partner or family and I couldn't accept it. We are moving forward and my life is still good. Nothing I write in my blog is romantized; that is my life.....you should be asking yourself why that bothers you so much.
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Old 06-19-2017, 12:30 PM   #4958
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

Where does your daughter fit into all of that?
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Old 06-19-2017, 12:57 PM   #4959
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

M, do you know what romanticized means? I don't understand why you object so strongly to that term at the same time that you admit the whole point of the blog is to focus only on the positives and ignore the negatives.

You also said a couple weeks ago that you didn't see any problem with focusing only on the positives, to which I brought up that you were blinding yourself to the obvious issues in your relationship with Code. Now you act like what happened with him was a huge surprise, except it wasn't to anyone but you. You've admitted repeatedly to living in a fantasy world, which is not a healthy thing. You're still doing it with this fantasy of a FWB relationship with Code that everyone but you can see is going to end badly. The sooner you face reality instead of letting your actions be guided by wishful thinking, the sooner you'll actually break out of this rut you're in and have a chance of finding real happiness.
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Old 06-19-2017, 01:04 PM   #4960
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

This all makes me wonder what CRAZY, WACKJOB, COKEHEAD ex is really like because code basically said the other day MLY's stories about him are pretty much pure fables.

He's probably a good dude that just got away from his crazy ex and loves his daughter. Seems to be spending a lot of time with her anyway, as does his family.

But then I immediately stop wondering because MLY.
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Old 06-19-2017, 01:06 PM   #4961
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

I'm going to be blunt here, MLY, and tell you that your entire relationship with code3 can be replaced with 2 Duracell AA batteries. So much less drama.
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Old 06-19-2017, 01:08 PM   #4962
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

the ill-fabled ex doesn't pay child support

Spoiler:
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Old 06-19-2017, 01:28 PM   #4963
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

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I'm going to be blunt here, MLY, and tell you that your entire relationship with code3 can be replaced with 2 Duracell AA batteries. So much less drama.
It's not actually about the sex, it's all about her feeling wanted/needed/whatever.
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Old 06-19-2017, 01:37 PM   #4964
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

27, you should try to get in on this weight—loss bet that MLY and Thremp are putting together.
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Old 06-19-2017, 01:39 PM   #4965
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

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It's not actually about the sex, it's all about her feeling wanted/needed/whatever.
You know that and I know that, but until she knows that, I am responding to her comments as if she is being honest. She wants to think it's all about the sex, well there are lots of ways to be happy in this area without all the drama.

She has sadly already set herself up to fail by stating that she intends to move on when she gets stable enough. What a great way to sabotage your therapy.
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Old 06-19-2017, 01:42 PM   #4966
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

Quote:
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This all makes me wonder what CRAZY, WACKJOB, COKEHEAD ex is really like because code basically said the other day MLY's stories about him are pretty much pure fables.

He's probably a good dude that just got away from his crazy ex and loves his daughter. Seems to be spending a lot of time with her anyway, as does his family.

But then I immediately stop wondering because MLY.
This.


At this point, seems prettttty likely that in reality ex is a much better parent (and better person) than MLY
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Old 06-19-2017, 01:58 PM   #4967
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

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27, you should try to get in on this weight—loss bet that MLY and Thremp are putting together.
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Old 06-19-2017, 01:58 PM   #4968
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

MLY,

1. If your "relationship" with Code is going to be just about "having fun," are you still going to block off whole weekends to drive both ways to see him instead of spending the same time with your family or in positive activities? Seems pretty ridiculous to me, but YOLO? I mean you could get all that time back to hang out with your daughter and sister, and swim and hike and lift and cook and generally live life. But on the other hand I guess you have the opportunity to drive a few hours, not get your errands or chores done, to spend time with a guy who wouldn't drive a car you bought for him to see you in your home. Like I said, YOLO.

2. Any thoughts on how any of this is going to play out for the good of your daughter? Are you going to continue to bring her to see him? This sort of thing was a MAJOR concern of yours just a couple months ago. Are you still going to try to sell the concept that she's too young to have any of this have an impact on her, or are you going to resell the entirely contradictory message you had that that was that your daughter knew exactly what was going on? Is she now just so super mature that you're going to say that you'll just explain to her that it's a sex-only relationship with no future and she understands such things?
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Old 06-19-2017, 01:59 PM   #4969
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

I would agree re the ex- except I am loath to dismiss her account of him being abusive just because her she unintentionally misrepresents the situation with Code.
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Old 06-19-2017, 02:02 PM   #4970
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

Citinal,
It just depends on whether MLY explains it on a day that her daughter has the maturity of a 30 year old, or on a day she has the maturity and memory of an ant.
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Old 06-19-2017, 02:05 PM   #4971
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

So is this daughter in any activities? I mean other than walking the strip at an early age. Tee ball, dance, gymnastics?
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Old 06-19-2017, 02:06 PM   #4972
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

gregorio - which is more likely?

Ex is physically abusive and none of MLY, MLY's family nor Code does anything about it?
Or Ex is a fairly normal dude who was lucky enough to escape his bat**** crazy ex-wife, and MLY demonizes him for us in her fantasy world?

Obv could be somewhere in between, but if you had to pick one...
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Old 06-19-2017, 02:10 PM   #4973
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

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So is this daughter in any activities? I mean other than walking the strip at an early age. Tee ball, dance, gymnastics?
Tball at least.
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Old 06-19-2017, 02:20 PM   #4974
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

cs3, lots of women are in abusive relationships and nobody does anything to the perpetrator. Do you expect Code to show up at the doorstep of her gun-owning ex and beat him up? I don't think MLY has gone into details about the nature of the abuse, and even though she's shared a little bit of personal info here, that's really none of our business. I'm happy to take her at her word on this and move on.
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Old 06-19-2017, 03:34 PM   #4975
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Re: OOT Bad MTT Dealmaking Containment Thread ft. MLY

You're right, let's move on!

Last edited by cs3; 06-19-2017 at 03:37 PM. Reason: I was talking about doing something in terms of the daughter. Not specifically between MLY/ex
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