I usually never ask for a number, I just ask to meet her for drinks near her place (I ask what area of the city they are in, in a previous message) and then they just about always give it to me. If not I give them mine and tell them to call/text if they need to and then they give me theirs in return.

I once got a number after one message without even asking for it. I didn't even know her name, got no response to the questions I asked, just a "Now that's a good one, (referring to the message)fair enough xxx-xxx-xxxx, don't blow it up"

Can hardly tell who is saying what but the convo/subject blows and your little declaration at the end is lol******ed

Planning on hitting up a prospective date on OKC, but am being thrown for a loop on his profile:

Under the "You should message me if" section his response is "if you like being the big spoon".

I have no idea what this means. I assumed it meant cuddling but in response to the question "are you a cuddler" he said sometimes, so maybe the maybe the means only if the person is bigger than him? If that's the case, this one is in the books.

Spooning

A form of affection between a couple. Where the man lays front to back with the girl. They fit together like spoons.

Big spoon means you're the one behind.

maybe he's a bottom?

Bends: that convo seems absolutely horrible

Knives: he wants you to do the ass banging

Agreed. Interesting how putting it up makes it so obvious. Ah well - first one so the only way is up.

Any suggestions for what I should be keeping in mind?

so in my response is "i am a big spoon iykwim" a good play?

the peen pic you send him will tell him everything he needs to know

I'm so bad at closing lines. What's a good way to say "hey you seem cool so message me" without saying that?

Best response I ever got on POF. I was new to online dating so I tried to respond to all my messages at first. This came after I told him he lived too far. But really, he was just ugly and boring.

Bends, the conversation didnt seem bad to me. Kind of strayed too much on one thing but she seemed responsive and matched the msgs so i dont think its that bad.

Bends,
The girls seemed pretty skittish about online dating overall, so she probably interpreted some of your weird comments a bit too seriously.
But I usually give my number to a girl and suggest we meet up much earlier in the conversation...usually in the third message.

She seemed to be on the same page humorwise. I agree that its just her general attitude towards the online thing. If the convo had been posted without the end result i think most people would have a positive impression out of it

Bends: I guess I don't really get the point of having a long conversation about random crap with someone you want to go out with. This applies just the same with numbers you get IRL at a bar/party/etc. don't text back and forth forever, cut to the chase quickly and just ask her out. This should be way easier in this context since this interaction has started on a DATING SITE where people sign up because they want to GO ON DATES.

Knives: I have a lot of gay friends and it never really matters what initial line they use. That holds whether they are just looking to bang or more interested in dating someone.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=49385851

These are pictures of elly tran, right? This profile isnt real right?

I reversed image searched a few of those pics, no hits. Think you might have a case of all Asians look alike syndrome

bends,

ignore the happy talk. your messages are terrible. there's no shame in being bad at something as long as you're willing to improve.

here's a short list of things to think about.

1. never tease a girl about her intelligence or 'trying too hard'. 90% of okcupiders will interpret everything you say as evidence they're smarter than you if you haven't already won them over. it's just like 2p2.

2. never hedge after teasing a girl. it makes you look weak. ''maybe i'm projecting'' is gayer than knivesout playing big spoon.

3. dont talk directly about a girl's interests. if you dont know enough to think of a playful and witty comment or question you don't know enough to talk about it at all. ''so, what got you into greek mythology?'' is the kind of smalltalk an uncle makes with a niece.

4. in fact, never use any inflection of the word 'interest'. ''that's interesting'' is the worst kind of filler because it's a comment and not a response. it adds nothing.

5. dont dwell on subjects for long. she knows and likes and can laugh about literally millions of things and you're talking about greek mythology in a detached tone that is ponderous and try-hard. when she mentioned the jealousy of the gods your next response should have been a story or comment about jealousy/emotions ("new thread time"). consecutive comments should not really be about the 'same topic' -- they only have to relate thematically.

6. never talk about rape. i mean, ever.

7. remember you're trying to make her feel things. you are not seeking her approval (''gee, his opinions are so well considered!") or learn about her academic history (you're not a prospective employer - who cares?). adopt the role of a guy trying to make her think and feel things she hasn't thought or felt before.

be more indirect, be more playful, be more positive (there is a lot of implicit criticism in all of your comments), think more in terms of feelings and themes, and be less approval seeking.

Bends,

Good stuff from yaobv.

Haha, this profile is awesome.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=48305104

24 is such a huge range of maturity levels for people. There are 24 year olds who are super mature and established and there are 24 year olds who are basically overgrown highschoolers. If you are 28 and find one of the former, it can work great. If it's the latter, it's going to drive you crazy (unless you are just looking for some fun, or are an even more overgrown highschooler).

As far as I can recall, there's only been two instances where I met up with a girl from a dating site on a first date where she refused to give her number beforehand. Both girls turned out to be very self-absorbed and not trusting whatsoever. Texting is a step-up from messaging on the site, I think it's fine to get a number and arrange things there, or even give her a call.

This is true of 40 year olds.

I think I may have inadvertently made an online date with a stripper for 6:30 this morning.

FYP