No POFers want to help me out?

I honestly cannot imagine rejecting someone for an hour drive. It's already so difficult to find someone I'm interested in, and even more difficult for them to also be interested in me. How could I possibly then reject them for that?

It would depend on how attractive he is and how interesting he seems. That goes into the calculus. Having said that, so doe the "u" and emoticons. Clearly not worth it.

She seems eager to please. I think she'll make it worth your while.

Clingy and desperate before you've even met. No way would I meet someone who sent me that message. Yuck.

He's wanting to be bottom I'd say. If ganstaman is a top then he'd probably find that attractive.

For gangsta, what is the pool of guys like in your area? 'Central Jersey'? If that means, 'smaller town with not a lot of gay dudes there', then you're hurting yourself by limiting your selection to people within an hour's drive, imo. I live outside a big city where the pool of women is much larger, so the distance is usually not a problem. There have been a few, though, that I definitely wanted to message or reply to, but they lived over an hour away.

There was one girl in Philly who I talked to a bunch on the phone and finally drove the 3 freaking hours to visit her. But that was when I was starting the online dating thing.

Alright, so 4 yrs. shouldn't be that big of a deal. Which was kinda what I was thinking in originally messaging her, but then it just seemed like we were at totally different stations in life.

I'm considering asking her on a 2nd date. I definitely thought she was cute, and nice. I guess I'm hoping maybe it was just some 1st date jitters and she will calm down on the blabbering a bit on the 2nd date. Thoughts?

On dating people 1 hr+ away, I just moved to Houston, and it seems like there are a ton of suburbs that are at least 30-45 mins away. I'm not ruling out dating someone from these areas just because it might be a little bit of a drive.

I'm not opposed to dating someone ~45 minutes away (that's about how far SF is from me and I wouldn't mind spending more time in the city), but I definitely wouldn't see someone who sent me that message (re ganstaman). He seems desperate and the grammar turns me off.

I also only message someone in SF if there's something about their look or profile that really jumps out at me.

"My greatest social skills come from being able to respond to something with a witty line"

"I came up with an all time great line after she told me she was originally from Albania "Albania? Like all white with pink eyes?""

wow

It's a Simpsons quote
http://wtso.net/movie/273-The_Simpso..._of_Wrath.html

6:30 in, she didn't get it

Pretty safe to say only the coolest, nerdiest girls will get a Simpsons reference nowadays. Family Guy reference is much safer.

So I pulled a number from a cute girl on OKC after 2 messages, wondering if I should try and set up a date for drinks tomorrow night after the Pats game, or if that's too soon. The next time I could see her is Thursday night since I'm away Mon-Wed, so should I just keep the foot on the pedal and go for tomorrow, since it's a holiday on Monday?

Your inability to understand homosexuality never fails to amaze me.

I just joined the site a week ago, but so far there appears to be no shortage of options. NJ is the most densely populated state in the country, so even outside of big cities there are lots of people within a reasonable distance.

Also, since I just joined the site, I figure I can see what's available nearer to me before branching out. If the route to this guy had places worth going to along the way, then maybe the hour drive would be worthwhile, but it's through the middle of nowhere.

Aint: In Houston you should def be open to dating someone 30-45 mins away since it's such a sprawling metropolis and IMO not enough of a concentration anywhere to really make sense to limit yourself geographically.

Duke: where do you live? 45 mins makes me think mountain view maybe? If so, you're gonna have way better success with peninsula and South Bay girls.

El D, pretty close (Palo Alto). And yeah I do have much better luck with peninsula/South Bay and focus my messaging efforts there. I'm just not opposed to going on a date with someone in SF, which has happened once on OKC.

I remember when I lived in central NJ and first joined OKC 3 years ago, I was really annoyed that I couldn't filter the distance close enough to exclude girls who lived in NYC. This was simply not a feasible distance for me to travel to meet someone on a regular basis, and since most girls who live in NYC don't have cars, it's unlikely we could meet halfway or they could come to me.

I think 50-60% of people it tried to match me with lived in NYC, another 30% lived in Philly (which was a little more reasonable from where I lived), and 10-20% actually lived in NJ or close by in eastern PA.

Living in a big city in a red state now, I need to be much more concerned with cultural compatibility, but distance is much less of an issue. I don't think I've ever driven more than 20 minutes to meet someone, and almost half my first dates I set up somewhere I can walk to.

You do realize that it takes more than 2-3 months to grow them, right?

Yeah I have the same problem with SF.

Duke,

Yeah if I lived in PA I'd want to date someone in the city too! Anyway, I was just making the point that most quality girls I know in the city are gonna need some extra special reason to date a guy who lives on the peninsula (hell, even the Sunset for some of them!). Sounds like you are already well aware of this tho.

Just use the "Search by username or feature" function on OKCupid to narrow it down by area. You could search for Palo Alto and only get matches that live there or mention it in their profile. A bit more of a hassle than regular search, but at least you aren't getting 75% of matches from San Francisco this way.

Fossil,

The site doesn't let you pick a search radius?

The problem is that the closest search radius is 25 miles. Not a problem for me living in Omaha currently, but I'm moving to Redondo Beach in the Spring and a girl being 15+ miles away can be a huge hassle in the LA area. This wouldn't be an issue if OKCupid would just allow 5 miles as a search radius.

Fossil,

Gotcha. Yeah 25 is a really silly minimum in lots of dense areas.

switch to metric so you can search within 25km, then you have a 15mile radius.

Ok I'm in the game. Was chatting to a cute girl on Ok Cupid. Rate my play. Gut feeling is that the message after the phone number was the killer & I fumbled it. Also think I had better play after the number rejection.

One factor here is she was in the process of leaving the site & deleted her account at the end. So it may be I was drawing dead but I don't think so.

-----

Kodos Gone with the wind to Total Recall is a pretty awesome favourite movie transition.*

Anyway in as much as you can judge from these things you seem super smart but you try quite hard. Not sure why that would be.
Sent to*Crumpets23


Jan 19, 2013 – 8:28pm
Super smart but I try quite hard??????



Jan 19, 2013 – 10:48pm
Ha. Just a feeling. Every possibility that I'm projecting here.*

What are you doing this fine Saturday evening?


Jan 19, 2013 – 10:51pm
Possibly you are.*

This fine evening I am lying in a hungover heap. What about you?



Jan 19, 2013 – 10:56pm
Pretty similar. Had a few too many last night (I have zero self control when the night has started). This evening has been a quiet drink & back for pizza & random internet browsing.*

I did my final year of uni on ancient Greece & Rome. I love the random stories you get that show the links between people back then & people now (I.E. we're all the same). What got you into Greek mythology?


Jan 19, 2013 – 11:03pm
Same I had no self control last night and now I'm really suffering. Can't beat a bit of internet browsing when you feeling ginger.*

Thats cool, I studied Classic Civilisations at college. I love how the Gods are shown as these hugely jealous and irrational beings. They all bicker and screw people over. It's great stuff. Jason & The Argonauts is obviously another movie favourite.



Jan 19, 2013 – 11:10pm
Yeah Christianity really made the whole religion thing a lot more boring. One perfect god or four hundred insane mad men & women. I know which I'd rather worship. Plus it's got to make life more tense when there's every chance that your god could turn into a swan and seduce/rape your wife.*

Also am I going mental or did you have pictures up last night? What happened?


Jan 19, 2013 – 11:15pm
Yes the Bible isn't so much of a page turner. All the seduction/raping amuses me, poor old Hera constantly being cheated on by Zeus.*

I did have pictures, I was contemplating deleting my profile entirely thus far I have only attracted real oddballs.



Jan 19, 2013 – 11:23pm
I hear very interesting stories from my friends of what being a girl on these sites tends to mean. Bad spelling, letching & topless, headless photos being the main themes.*


xxxxxx is my number. At least while texting you can stay hidden from the real nutters...*


Jan 19, 2013 – 11:26pm
Yeah it has been a lot of all of them. Lost of men asking if I want to come round and get high.*

How do I know you won't harass my phone with nutterish behaviour.



Jan 19, 2013 – 11:33pm
A very sensible question. After all I am wearing a white hat in my profile picture it's a fair chance I'm a little interesting.*

Hmm. How about this.*

I (my name) (all round respectable bloke) promise to never harass _____________ (cautious but fun girl) by phone. I hereby recognise that a fondness for greek religious literature does not mean she would like her life to be full of the same drama.*

If I break my promise may I be raped by a god in swan form.


Jan 19, 2013 – 11:40pm
Your mock declaration is a very kind gesture but never the less I am not in the habbit of giving my number out so flippantly, sorry.,

Jan 19, 2013 – 11:45pm

That's cool. Maybe we'll run into each other one day.