^Why do you keep trolling me? Everyone in this thread except you is trying to be helpful to everyone else.

Because I couldn't think of a nice, constructive way to describe how creepy and insane that paragraph sounds

Gangsta's question was completely valid about why doing two places under a predetermined time constraint, then you dropped that level and I don't know what's going on here

You said two places didn't work out to your advantage, he then asked why you did it, then you completely ignore all the reasons why it didn't work and blame something out of your control as to why you can't escalate (?)

I think the simpler answer is that I didnt just want to sit across the table at a restaurant for the entire date.

FWIW, I actually didnt know about the time constraint until I mentioned going to the second bar. She still wanted to go to the second bar even though she could only stay an hour...if she wanted to ditch me beforehand she could have easily done so.

I just went on a 45 minute date at World of Beer.

Aw well you just for caught in a bad spot then sorry. I misread that timing thing and you shouldn't read too much into the second half/location not going as well. Kind of a dick move on her part dropping that info at that point she was probably a bit distracted or something

Three hours already seems pretty long for a date to me. I only need 15 minutes.

nick,

there was no time constraint.

NickMPK, you seem to be having difficulty with interacting with people in a relaxed environment.

As stinkypete mentioned, I'm positive that the time constraint was an escape valve for her to use as an eject button. This is particularly obvious because she didn't mention it until you brought up the second bar. That made her uncomfortable, so even if she was still interested up until that point, she probably checked out emotionally after that.

Speaking of which, there's no good reason to have a second location for your first date. Your first date should be a get-to-know-you opportunity. If you are trying to hook up on the first date, stop. It's not going to work for you. You lack the sort of magnetism and aggressiveness to do this (right now).

Why are you trying to angle things so that you can get more physical on the first date? I hope that's not a reaction to the email feedback you got.

Play the long game.

Not everything Nick does is wrong. Going for drinks after eating is fine.

Getting physical in the first date is fine. You can stand close at the bar, be more relaxed than at a restaurant, etc....restaurants suck.

The problem isnt that he changed venues.

Lol this.

Kind if surprised it needs to be said. Clearly she would have told Nick about the prior engagement beforehand. So either she is inconsiderate/dumb or that was her exit plan when her date started talking about how interesting the presidential debates were or whatever.

The internet says to change venue so that you go to three places, because that's like going on three dates. Anyway, whatever, screw that. I don't think any of us have much difficulty getting dates, so make the first date short. Then you can find out whether she is super boring, or worth getting to know more.

Maybe you just don't appreciate how intensely quantitative political science has become recently.

You are the worst.

Lmao "the internet." Stop reading Roger Lodge's guide to dating. Switching venues is annoying unless it is natural like from restaurant to bar.

Were you physically attracted to this chick?

I read his post as a joke, not a serious comment.

While we're on it

Garcia, do you use exclamation points all the time when you talk to girls or do you just do it on here to annoy everyone as much as possible? Because I think I speak for everyone when I say it's annoying and I want to throw a toaster at you most of the time.

According to a quick search from my phone, Garcia's used only one exclamation point in his last 8 posts in this thread. Maybe his problem is not enough exclamation points! He lives in a very conservative Asian city though, so caution is advised.

KPowers I use a high frequency of exclamation marks, this is one of my few flaws. I will try to lessen their frequency. I've just been picking up habits from my internet role models such as Dinosaur Comics and El Diablo.

I think it's classless to ask for a drink. I wouldn't accept one unless it was insisted on and I had been talking for awhile. I'm on a mission to find guys, not drinks. I also don't consume more than 1 or 2 drinks when I'm out unless I'm with someone that I have been exclusively dating. My tolerance is pretty low. I'm on antibiotics, so I wasn't able to make it out of the house last night. I've learned my lesson.

As for paying on dates, the majority of the guys I've dated have always refused to let me pay. I used to try doing it anyway, but it usually made them uncomfortable. This might be because they make much more money than me. My ex was the only guy who would make me spoil him, and he turned out to be a psychopath. I'll admit that I don't make the best choices when it comes to men.
Unless you're a very enthusiastic guy, girls are going to think it's weird when they meet you.

You guys are being too hard on nick here

- changing venues is totally fine there and probably the right move
- girl indicated enough interest to come
- he hasn't said why 2nd location didn't work out yet
- I do agree the time constraint was not very stringent if it existed


I mean, who HAS to be at their friends house at 10pm exactly on a Friday night?


I think we need more details about 2nd venue to decide what went wrong (or how does he know it was wrong).

Did she decline a 2nd date? Was the spark just gone from taking a break in conversation (assuming you took separate vehicles)? Was the venue too crowded/loud/etc?

my bad then. i pictured garcia having a very well-researched book of date openings and mid-game strats a la chess

I do have a well-researched manual of date opening and mid-game strats, but those are like training wheels. I don't use that now. My date strategy is 1) be natural. 2) the natural me is awesome!!!! 3) if it's not, improve myself

Sounds like she had no desire to have sex with you even though you were nice and smart and not deformed or anything. Good info though and props for asking her. You should be able to deduce some of this on your own going forward now hopefully.