Quote:
Originally Posted by NickMPK
Now, if I can use different patterns of conversation to have more success, I am totally open to changing that. But I am not going to change my fundamental interests (like going bungee jumping, which I would never have any interest in IRL).
I hate to sound like a wannabe patronizing dumb**** but im only elaborating because this is very familiar to me as i see a lot of what was holding me back in you. So if youre just sick of it tell me to stfu.
Its fine to first elaborate patterns and practical familiar crutches. Youre a rational practical guy that needs that as a foundation.
Def normal to pick a familiar location for a number of reasons.
But first, those patterns must be reexaminated constantly, especially when theyre not working.
And second, never underestimate the power of your state of mind, the underlying sort of mental state youre in. Itll come out whether youre aware of it or not.
Your ultimate goal is that by practicing bthese patterns, you wont need them anymore. They only serve to make you get out of your shell and experience enough dates that youll loosen up and be ale to have an attractive presence.
You could memorize an entire conversation but it still wont work if your mind is on an insecure overthinking overdrive, for example.
Im not saying you should like bungee jumping, but you should be the guy that, ifhe happened to like to bungee jump, hed do it. At least in term of dealing with females.
Once you make an effort to change your state of mind other things will come effortly, like body language etc....
When i first started going out a lot the girls id find hot but not really THAT much into, would be all over me. Then i met a couple of girls that i really liked and wanted as gfs, but it didnt work out. We went out but never led anywhere, became friends etc...
I made a conscious effort to put myself in a state of mind where id look at girls i liked like the ones i didnt really careabout that much. Instant results, honestly.
Not the same case but just trying to explain why your inner state of mind can have a lot of effects and let you experiment and venture into different patterns, conversations etc.... Until it becomes second nature to you.