I agree it's some % chance but it's worth taking because who cares. And I don't even use canned openers (for other reasons though).

Easiest hookup ever

I'm a touch confused, are you suggesting you are using online dating to message people you already know or you think you know?

Read further back. I'm not trying to date anyone right now.

Despite this, I do have a major date tomorrow

Does not compute lol

waow ur dense

Well done.

fyp, ducy?

Sorry I gotta leave team amazinmets for now because kind of creepy
I will rejoin in the future if circumstances change!

amazin,

Let go of the money issue. Just drop her from your life -- she's worthless.

You're angry and resentful that she did that to you, but mostly you're angry at yourself for allowing a person like that into your life and not being able to control it. There's a good likelihood it's a bigger theme in your life than you might realize, that you can't advocate for your own wants and desires. You want something you don't know how to get it (fumbling with her breasts instead of seducing her confidently, asking someone to settle up on a promise), and it grows worse as you bottle it up.

You're stuck in a pattern, dude. There are patterns of behavior, and then underneath them is a model of the world built up over the years that powers them. It needs to be addressed seriously if you want to find success dating.

There are tons of bad, incompatible girls out there who will make you unhappy, and you need to know how to recognize them and deal with them with deftness and grace. Until you can do that, you're just going to waste your energy with them by being disappointed and resentful, and meanwhile you're going to be missing opportunities with girls who *are* compatible.

heh. Glad that wasn't totally lost on this crowd.

Solid.

So Im going on a date tomorow and its going to be my first in ages and first online date evar. She's an American girl here for her master, she seems like a smart and laid back girl, 26 years of age, unsure what Im aiming for but guess Ill just go ahead and try to have a fun night. We are meeting in her town for drinks at 8pm, should I just check out what feels naturally and go with the flow ? I have no idea whats happening after we had a few drinks or what usually happens. Anything I should know/advice for a long time lurker in the dating scene ? I'm okish with girls, just never had to do the dating activity of meeting up having drinks and escalating. Pretty pumped and excited/nervous!

Just go with the flow, but definitely have a couple ideas in mind for a second location should things go well. Be it another bar, ice cream or walk etc.. From my experience the girl will rarely suggest anything, so if you have nothing in mind before it can definitely ruin the flow of the date.

being relaxed is the best advice anyone can give you. dont overthink things and just have fun. if youre nervous youre gonna make her nervous, if you have a good time, shell have a good time. + the things dontdoit said.

Ya, as said above. I just want to reiterate that you should NOT go into this expecting that you must do xyz in terms of physical escalation, etc. It's better to NOT have any physical contact than to have forced, awkward moments of it. If it feels right, do it. Have an idea of where you can go next. Be nice and pleasant to waiters/bartenders/strangers, hold the door for her, etc. Little things. Your only real goal for the evening should be to have fun

And smile a lot. But not too much.

Having a plan is really important, even if it's just a vague one: 'I know a few blocks away there's some good bars, let's check that area out and see what's going on'. It's really offputting for a girl when a guy says something like 'Well, what do you fancy doing?' or even worse 'I can't figure out where to go'. They want you to take control and be decisive.

Yak, it might not be your town, but its not her country. I think its ok to have a set plan then deviate as you see fit.

Lots of opportunities will arise during the date, high five if she gets a word in your language right, tease her then hug her when she messes one up, lead her by the hand when leaving.....definitely dont overworry about it but make sure the date doesnt end up too friendly. You have a very friendly look so i think its importnt to escalate at some level

Teasing = good. Hugging = lol. C'mon man.

Yakmilk, act like you're in control, talk slowly, and tell funny/interesting stories. And drink alcohol, preferably wine.

Thanks for the advice guys, should be able to do allright tomorow . Also, I dont really like the hugging thing personally, you need a lot to actually pull that off without it being forced/awkward imo and its def. way outside of my comfort zone but Im going for the high 5s and teasing for sure.

Its not a hug hug.

Its the hand accross the lower back kind of fast lateral hug. It works great. First time is fast, then before you know it your hand is there (pending your own judgement), then youre mating furiously.

Its the standard early physical touch if youre at a bar or whatever.

Most people couldn't pull this off on a first date without coming across as a hudge weirdo and even for those who can, it serves to mitigate sexual tension rather than build it. There are dozens of better ways to escalate physically than that.

I am lurking this thread for a couple of months now. It really inspired me to create a profile on OKC as well. I have to say I learned a lot about online dating, dating in general here. Mainly using the KISS -simple and stupid approach now. I had one attempt about two years ago were I was on lengthy discussions about the books I read -lol. What a waste of time and energy! Living in London now I straight up copied the seemingly most successful poster SandraXXII idea with the ping pong bar as a first date. I'll find out on Sunday when I meet up with the first british chick which ever responded to me if thats a good first date idea... . Guess I am too ugly even for them... . I will look at it as a purely cultural experience. Still unsure how to proceed though. First some drinks, then the table tennis or straight to the table tennis and drinks afterwards...?

I also talked to some other girl. This was my 4th message where I eventually asked her out...

Looks like you are doing a lot of traveling! I didn't visit Mount Etna. It was crossed out from the list as we had only like 5 full days on the island and were visiting Palermo, some small town in the middle and Siracusa for some days and then mainly sampling the local dishes :-).

I would really like to listen to more of those Peru stories! South America was always kind of flying under the radar for me... . Would you like to meet up sometime and have a chat over a glass of wine or coffee? Whereabout in London are you living?

Cheers

Her response:

I try to get away when I can. Sounds like you had longer in sicily than i will have- i am flying to Palermo actually.
I would like to see some other placed in S America.
Sometime - week after next? I have an assignment due in on the 2nd and will have my life back then :-)
Im based in the East of London and you?

Sounds pretty much like a blow off to me. Don't know how to proceed. I mean an assignment due and no time for like two weeks -guess she isn't very interested. Should I even bother to respond? Maybe I should also ask her out to the table tennis to clear her head from those difficult mental activities?

Many questions... . And thanks again for the thread. There are some real cool characters in here. I couldn't stop updating on the weekend when I was cheering for amazing and what kind of ending it will take!

Well, we'll agree to disagree then

Theres nothing yet to indicate a blowoff of any sorts. If anything its the opposite. Some people go into lockdown when they have projects or whatever. Its not some one paper homework i assume.

Stop saying youre too ugly and seeing blowoffs when a girl has msged u a lengthy reply.

she said yes to wine/coffee, thats not a blowoff. just set a date later and dont assume shes going to remember to message you first.

sometimes people are actually busy/have lives, its not a bad thing