I'm noticing that having a dog is much more valuable online than in real life. I have a dog pic on my pof profile but not on my OKC one. I'm getting a response rate of about 50% on pof, and much much less on OKC. Profiles and messages are similar aside from that. Although there may be sample size issues; I've only had them for two days.

BadL, if you're still around. Does this rule apply if you didn't have sex on the first date?

I just subscribed to Blackpeoplemeet. One issue... you can't use their message system before you subscribe to the site. Big issue here, if a non subscriber gets a message from a subscriber, I'm assume they can respond? If not, the site is a huge waste.

Congrats on being on top of the dog pile.

What's the line on acronyms and IM speak? I never use them when texting someone I know, but a lot of these girls use them on their profiles. So I'm considering using them more.

ty ty my e-peen had never been bigger


For those of you who use pics that make you appear significantly better looking than you are irl, do you ever get self-conscious before the first date? I was always peeved when I found out a guy didn't look nearly as attractive as he did in his pics. I've also noticed that many people who list their body type as average clearly aren't. How often does stretching the truth backfire on you?

I just put used up; if they can't take a joke like that, probably wasn't going to work out anyway

hasn't hurt me

some form of embellishment is priced in. so if your profile adds 1.5-2 points, that's par for the course and you're probably going to end up getting dates with girls in your range.

that said i recently shaved my head and grew a beard and and have yet to go on any dates since then. i suspect that some girls will be disappointed that i strayed from the profile pic.

My pics don't look better than me IRL, but I get self-conscious anyway. Ironically, I've only had one chick look much worse IRL and a few that looked much better in person. The one that looked worse tilted me because I had to sit there with a phony smile on the whole time. Couldn't wait to GTFOutta there.

Ive bailed on a date in < 5 mins before. Aside from being short and fat, the girl was insufferably negative so i informed her of such and she stormed off. I felt like a champion for not wasting time w her.

Only had one date. She looked significantly better in person.

On a related note she sent me a message a couple of days after we met stating that she was going to delete her profile but that I was welcome to call her in the New Year. Only problem is she didn't give me her phone number. 2 minutes with google was more than enough time to locate her Facebook account. I'm planning to send her a message as I'm free rolling, if she doesn't respond I'm no worse off than I would be if I didn't contact her.

Is there any way I can word this so I don't look like a crazy stalker that's spent the last week tracking her down?

Pretend like you lost the phone/forgot to save it?

you can go "hey i lost my phone (crazy new years, dont ask), send me your number"

Or " hey i was just gonna call you and realized i forgot to save your number!"

Or the more honest alternative "hey goofball, you forgot to give me your number. Had to stalk you on facebook for it ". It doesnt sound as bad when you own up to it

I vote for the honest option.

She didn't give me the number in the first place so it's her fault

I was considering "it's incredibly easy to stalk you when you use the same username for everything. The orangutan in the video on your Youtube account is really cute."

I wasn't too sure if using the word stalk would come across well in text. The humorous intent may be lost.

wp. If I had the balls, I would have done something like that but the girl was nice, just not 'athletic and toned'. More like 'stuff my face whenever I can'.

This is a very very bad idea. I am not a girl and have a creepy sense of humor and I got weirded out by this. I even got weirded out for the girl and also for you.

I thought as much. There's a reason why I haven't sent the message yet. I'm having a good think about it and running it past a few people before I send anything.

Noooo dont send that. You can be honest but you dont have to let her know the extent of your efforts lol.

You can take out the stalk portion. Youve already been out with this girl so you dont have to overelaborate the message.

csaba- i wouldn't start any side conversation, focus on getting down to brass tax

here's the problem with your version, you are excusing yourself for stalking (i.e. it was easy bc of same username). if you want to address the issue you are better off showing that you don't care by being lighthearted yet unapologetic (i.e. "hey goofball, you forgot to give me your #. fortunately i have elite stalking skills and was able to find your fbook. so what's your #?")

or you could just figure that if she liked you her reaction will be "nice he found my facebook" rather than "OMG STALKER!!" and just add her and casually ask for her #. i'd prob take this route

yeah it was def a lot easier given how unlikable she was. i wouldn't have minded hanging out for 40 or so mins if she was pleasant.

As a general sidenote, i guess we on this forum have a tendency to overthink everything, and thats amplified 10000x with girls. But while when you first are trying to improve with girls, its essential to think aout this, eventually to be happy and comfortable youre gonna have to lighten up about it all. If youre confident and nonchalant in general, you can get away with the creepiest or stupidest stuff ever.

Yeah just send that exact message imo. I wouldnt wait then ask for number, dont think itll make much difference as theyve already been out and everything and most her opinion is already made up so he only has to not royally **** it up in the msg and hell be ok.

I'm guessing from (a) Jelly's pic and (b) the 'You're hot' notification that an online 9 is a real life 5.

Grim life.

don't listen to the haters jelly, i'd snap ctrl + V you

I'm guessing lolwasntme didn't get the same email.

She is a six that thinks shes a ten.