she might just feel awkward making out with someone in front of a NYC subway station. considering all the other info you provided this may even be likely answer.

kisses on 1st dates dont increase the chances you get a girl in bed i dont think.

anyway she appears to be prime mid/long term relationship material. meet for drinks near your place next time and ask her up for nightcap then make her tap from rear naked strikes to the poon.

Asians are hotter than redhead/cokeheads...aka they are better fooooockkkks.

Hey guys,

Decided to give this a bit more serious attempt.

I'm looking for some help/tips about profile pic.
I set up an account at a really good local site, and my profile is theoretically really good, it's got lots of pics in it of me with various girls and in cool exotic locations doing all sorts of stuff. Text is a mix of cocky jokes and generally decent-written material about myself and what I'm looking for. It's pretty much textbook pickup stuff, so I'm not worried about it.

Now, usually I'd use one of those pics I already know "work" as a profile pic - however, I've had a lot of change since then and look very different; it wouldn't be right and somewhat misrepresenting myself to do so.

I have now longish hair and a longer goatee thing, it's sort of a typical heavy metal look - actually, I'm just realizing writing this that my style and look is very similar to James Hetfield from Metallica.



Really close to this, except slightly longer hair and beard. (my facial qualities are about the same, maybe 1/10 better, which still means not very good looking)

This is not necessarily a bad thing because it can trigger me as a cool rock&roll guy, but it's tough to portray "correctly" on a dating site. I know very well that getting a haircut, shaving and taking a good pic in a slick suit would work, but it's not true to who I am anymore. This isn't problem for regular picking up, but it is for online.

Should I just go see a professional photographer? Taking pics of myself with (OK quality) webcam don't come across well, the lighting in my apartment sucks and they don't allow photoshopping at this site. Nobody is gonna click my profile if I look average or even somewhat ugly, and the profile pic is super important.

Thankful for any help

Yes. If you low on cash find a student. Pics and volume are the cornerstones of a good breakfast

btw I am guilty of having used terrible pictures, too lazy to do otherwise even though I think its a great idea.

wat

Yes, photoshopped pics are banned if discovered. They're really strict about profile pic, you have to be the only person in the photo, it has to show your face super clear etc. It states that 60% of profile pics get rejected. It's silly and it's not good for someone like me, who comes across better at a distance doing some sort of activity.

They don't allow sunglasses either. Not that I would use that anyway.

OK managed to do something that will do for now, but it's not a "wow" pic...oh well.

I'm completely blown away by how white women age. I'm 29 myself, and most of the people they show me are 25-32. It varies sooo much, I've seen several 30 year old women that look like they're 45 already. Dunno if it's because they tan all the time or what. Maybe they look way better/younger IRL? The real attractive girls are generally 18-22. JFC. Bring on more Asians plz

I would go off of the worst pic that they have posted and then can you live with that. Like that's what you are going to be waking up in the morning to. It's our initial instinct to completely objectify the whole profile.

Short TR. Had an amazing date with an asian girl last night. An engineer that moved here when she was 18. Was able to get over language/culture barrier and have a great time. Sexy as hell. Place was closing down, started hooking up at the table, then moved it to the car eventually. She got home, texted me she was masturbating to me, lol!

This was a bit outside my zone, because I'm more the cool/jocky type and she is a straight up nerd. But obviously with age, I've become more the intellectual/nerdy type.

You should have gone for the kiss from what it sounds like. It's not completely lost though. Escalate the flirtation in texts/calls and obv on next date. Go for touching early on if you see her again. She'll just end up thinking you really liked her and were more conservative for not attempting to kiss on the first date. That you liked her for her personality too. Basically you have to overcome that you are not a pussy, so show her you can be aggressive/intimate the next time you see her.

My play would have been not to go for a kiss at all. First date kisses are vastly overrated if it's not going to directly lead to sex. Better to maintain some aloofness.

Eh, women highly overrate kissing. It's as intimate as sex to some of them. So if you cross that barrier, you've become really important to them. Obv if she is slutty, it doesn't mean much.

Wait until you're mid-30s. It's a mine field out there.

lol i was kind of drunk last night, jfc. As an aside she told me a story about one of her male friends who created 50+ fake profiles with smoking hot girls just to draw the attention of other dudes making it easier for him to get noticed by the real girls. No wonder reply rates are so low lol.

Right, and they are also used to men trying to kiss them on every date. This is why withholding it from them is +EV.

Heh, men's taste in women doesn't change as they age. We're attracted to youth and fitness. Your options will narrow as you age if you're not rich/successful but you'll still be most attracted to the 18-22 year olds.

Not sure if any of you guys have had the same experience, but what's up with chicks referring to themselves as "nerdy" or "I'm such a nerd" after revealing something they really enjoy that may fall outside what society makes us believe is the norm?

Almost every chick I've gone on a date with has done this at some point. Examples range from admitting to enjoying board games, enjoying certain TV shows to admitting to ditching her friends to stay in and watch 6hours of hockey (Which is ***** awesome btw).

Just rubs me the wrong way I guess for some reason since I find identifying anything as "nerdy" somewhat ridiculous given we aren't in grade school anymore.

OK so efforts are apparently good enough to not get ignored, thanks guys.
Started getting quick replies from HBs already, they either pretend to not understand my openers or simply they don't get it (then why would they reply? they're red dots). It's just silly/semi-witty playful jokes based on their pictures or what they do. Is this standard?

I'm hyped either way

'Nerdy' has become cool and women put much more stock in trendiness than men do. (Most men pay attention to trendiness only so far as they think it will help them with women.)

I theorize that women are taking to calling themselves 'nerdy' because 'hipster' has evolved to take on a specific connotation most women don't identify with, but it's basically the same idea: "look at me, I'm so unique!"

What I'm trying to say is, right now it's very mainstream to not be mainstream.

That makes sense. I'm guessing it is obviously a good thing then since it is them trying to demonstrate for you they are unique and different than other chicks.

Sure, but it's no different from you needing to differentiate for them why you're different from other guys. If you're looking for a serious relationship then hobby/interest compatibility is also a question that should be answered early.

inside?

This is hilarious. Good luck with game all, haven't flirted with girls in years so I'm tired and off. Cheers

Yes cold and distant works in some cases where the women are attention whores. And there are certain times to bring that out. This is not one of them. The sooner you share physicality with the girl, the more power the man gains.

Without going into a psych discussion,the uninterested bit works in the beginning. But Penelope spent like 3 hours with this girl, hitting it off. She knows he is interested. The only thing holding him back from taking her by the hair and kissing her is that she intimidates him and she knows that.

Being uninterested works a hell of a lot more than just in the beginning. You are correct that being uninterested is a very different thing from being intimidated and the latter is an immediate shutdown for women, though.

so basically what you guys are saying is....it depends on the girl =\

Oh, ATF would be so mad at me.

The guy I've recently mentioned, first met up 1.5 weeks ago, now seen 3 times, has slept over once, texts me nearly every morning, blah blah blah. Tonight he texts me asking if I'm in a mood to talk on the phone. And I turned him down.

I was really tired from having worked overnight the night before and having now just slept the entire day away. Also, I feel so uncomfortable on the phone unless I know the person well/for a while. I explained this and he seemed fine with it. We continued texting for a bit, and we still plan on getting together tomorrow (where I join him and a friend on their drive to drop her off in another part of the state), so I don't think I ruined anything. Plus, I don't think my answer sounds terribly surprising to anyone's who's met me, so it hopefully wasn't a big shock.