Let's be honest, who wants to date a girl that would get offended by a silly comment about a place she goes to?

Insulted is prob too strong. The combination of the dig and pushing her off into next week likely killed the momentum.

I read it like this:

"LOL Jimbo's? Place was dead last time I was there! Let's grab a drink; you're my last priority so sometime next week."

ETA: On rereading it... the context of the convo reads like he's about to ask her out to one of the places they are discussing. It's the kind of chatter I've had when a potential date and I are coming up with a plan. Instead he insta-switches gears and pushes her into next week without even a tentative plan.

As much as I hate to agree with ATF here he's right in a way. It think it might be generational though, I think it might piss off older gilrs (like plus 35 I guess) cause you're having a dig at where they hang out. It's like saying 'they place you hang out isn't cool' and this does two things imo, make you sound like a dick cause who cares about cool anymore and you're have a pop at her choice of places to drink.

But I dont think it's a big deal, just sounds a little off.

And the pushing it back that far prob doesn't help either but if you're busy, you're busy.
Right after the lol comment it doesn't go together great imo.

I think women of a certain age have all dated a guy that puts work first and almost all hate it.

Yeota. It wasn't so bad that you said let's go out next week. It should have ended there. It's all the stuff you said after that was unnecessary. She doesn't need to know your personal schedule yet and there is no reason to make excuses. If she asks why next week. Just say very busy. You are also assuming she is not busy this week by saying what you said, thus telling her you have no life, but I do, so fit into my schedule.

Also, if the whole conversation revolved around bars in dc/arlington, you should have suggested a cool place to meet on your last message to keep flow. Hell even suggest to meet at the place you slammed and said she frequented.

this is what I was gonna do. figured to just push to next week and make plans closer to then, rather than trying to set something up now. but yes this is a good observation I agree with.

if she couldn't handle that minor dig, we wouldn't get along anyway. see: has nothing to do with putting "work first"- but just that I work evenings (sports official).

good point though I doubt she read that much into it- but I agree with the principle

this was coming up in my next message. part of why I asked out early, since the conversation was a natural segue.






anyway all of this is apparently irrelevant bc she just responded and gave me her number, lolz.

Yeota,

I wouldn't sweat it, she prob didn't see much urgency in writing right away and there might be a tiny bit of (IMO acceptable) game playing here, where she decides if you're pushing her off til next week, then she should act a little less responsive/available. I don't think the comment about the bar mattered at all and expect her to get back to you within a day or so. If not, just drop her a note Sunday or something telling her you're free the next couple of days and suggesting a place to meet up.

Edit: just read your post - nice!

Yeah that is probably what happened


also got a mutual like via the local swipe from this profile:


not sure which is a bigger pet peeve... improper use of too there or the fact that she said she is good at English. she has big boobs though so messaged her anyway, lolz

Mini golf girl just flaked lol. I texted "hope your mini golf game is up to par, it's been a while since I played. See ya soon". Basically responded that she just woke up and now has to go into work early too. Left it and just said to let me know the next day she has off and we'll set something else up. Correct play is to wait for her to initiate even though I'm free Thursday night correct? I obviously don't want to seem desperate. Well here's hoping my date tomorrow doesn't flake lol.

Yes, but a better way to think of it is to move on entirely and in the rare case that she actually reinitiates you can decide what to do from there.

Tinder matched me with someone who is 463 miles away so I say this:

Me: Only 463 miles away. Meet half way?
Her: hi...have we spoken before? 24/female here...you?
Me: No, I just downloaded the app yesterday. I was joking, it says we're 463 miles away.
Her: i'm sorry...i get to be forgetful at times!! how're you?
Me: I'm good. Do you find this app helpful? Have you met anyone?
Her: Just got out of the shower...busy week been kind of busy! but i am feeling naughty!! so what's up.. wanna have some fun??

Are there bots or fake people using this app?

I don't know anything about Tinder, but since you're clearly talking to a bot right now, I would have to say yes.

i had the exact same conversation the other night via tinder. def a bot.

i actually responded "what kind of fun are you thinking?" after the last message and then never got a response.

what could someone do with a bot like this? its not like tinder has much info on me to steal identity or anything? just that im within 10 miles of somewhere? or just a bot to f with people?

Yeah, seems right. Thanks.

Slightly off-topic but I was in Charleston, SC last weekend and that town is unbelievable. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a woman who is at least a 7.

For first dates - which I don't consider dates any longer, they're meetings IMO - do you guys give much consideration to the establishment you propose?

For some reason I'm always self-conscious about picking out some bar or lounge or whatever because I always get this impression that the woman really wants to be impressed. Or, probably more specifically, waiting for a guy to do something other than suggesting to meet up for drinks, coffee, etc.

Personally, I'd say that finding a bar I'm comfortable at, where I know the area and can bounce the date to a couple different locales if need be, is far more important. Forget trying hard to impress the girl, it's a first date with someone you've never met, who may or may not even look like the photos posted on their profile. If they're expecting to be swept off their feet, I'll let some other guy do that.

Yeah it's a bot trying to scam people for their credit card. Just block them.

http://news.softpedia.com/news/Tinde...s-364921.shtml

For the first date, I usually let the girl pick a bar in her neighborhood. Good or bad move?

For my first date I had just picked out a place half way between us that I found online and got good reviews/had cool pictures.

I pull up and its one of those bars that is part of/connected to a hotel, am like "wtf where do you park and how do you get in?," driveway is like super hidden, entrance in the back of the hotel, etc etc. Total trainwreck.

Bad move. Especially for the first date, always come out with something concrete. Let's meet [here] at [time] on [day].

Well it still ends up being a concrete plan.

for online i think its good to let the girl pick the place for the first date, especially because a first online date is more of a "see if were both not crazy" thing and less of a "date". although i dont think it makes that big of a difference overall vs. how the date actually goes

No. You have to say something concrete. When you come out and say "Hey, would you like to meet up for a drink this Friday. You can pick a place that is in your area," it's now more work and thought that she has to do than if you just said "Hey would you like to meet up at bar xxx this Friday night?" It's like one of the #1 rules of first dates that the guy proposes a place & time.

Basically, the way you're doing it, now not only does she have to say yes to you, but she also has to pick a place. Most of the time it may not make much of a difference, but I think over the long run you're going to get a few more declines than if all she has to do is say "yeah, that works."