just made my first profile on okc. rewrote my profile a few times to the point where it's semi-serious with a few jokes.

i sent one message out to a girl i thought was cute and a good match, and didn't even get a response. that bummed me out a bit and i've been reticent to send more messages. i think i'm overall like 0/3 so far.

cast a wider net mayb?

Cast a much wider net. Message like 15-20 girls over the next few days and if you're still without a response than you have to re-evaluate your profile/pictures/opening message.

I'm curious how many girls do you guys usually have on the go before you stop sending out first messages?

Reason I ask is right now I have 5 that vary between a couple messages/actual dates stages and find it quite time consuming. I can't imagine having too many more especially if they were all at actual date stages.

Do you guys just take longer responding to certain girls? Just curious how you manage while still maintaining an actual life outside of dating lol

4-5 girls that I'm either dating or have a tentative first date planned is enough for me.

If there are a handful of other girls in the online messaging stage then maybe I take a day or 2 longer to respond to a message or wait a couple messages longer to set up a date.

Maybe I don't have the energy or interest but 4-5 girls seems like a lot to me. Thus far in, I maxed-out at three and even then found myself burning out.

As an aside: to anyone seeking religious girls, I was bored and threw this out as a opener just to see what happens:

OKC keeps telling me I'm too picky. Stop showing me fat chicks then brah's I'm grade A prime.

This was a freaking disaster. She didn't even try to have a good time. I have no idea why she even agreed to meet me because she clearly wasn't enjoying herself. She pretty much ignored my every attempt to lighten the mood and cheer her up and she ended the night early which was fine with me. Then when I get home she texts that she wants to go out with me again. I seriously don't get it.

Did you make an effort to inquire upon why she's depressed / sad / upset / ****ed up?

ETA: Nevermind, she already told you. Copious amounts of empathy and alcohol is probably the best solution.

why waste your time?

she probably wants to feel superior in some way by baiting you into responding and trying to initiate another date. that's the point when she doesn't respond and feels secure about herself

Ugh, going over to exes. I want guaranteed sex. I'm such a sucker.

GH,

Hahaha, ex just left my place, I feel you!

For some reason of late OKC has been delivering a lot of nice looking girls when I click Matches, but when I first joined I had to sift through the usual slew of undesirables to find decent ones. Anyone else notice this?

GH, El D,
Something in the air, I guess...I just spent 3 hours AFTER last call with my ex in a park discussing our relationship and having 'see ya later' sex because she goes back out west tomorrow.

This girl sent me a text tonight around 9, shockingly.
"Hey you how are you enjoying your weekend?"

I responded by telling her I was actually down the street from her place (she knows one of my best friends is basically her neighbor) having some drinks...two hours later she writes "hope you had a great time! I was napping before but I'm out now...talk to you tomorrow "

For anyone following this story...could it be that she was being genuine with her excuse when bailing?? I've still written it off and didn't respond to her message, nor do I plan on messaging her tomorrow unless she inititaites.

Hey you

She sounds keen tbh

Sounds like she just wants a text buddy.

lazer,

What wet said.

So the L-bomb has been dropped. Everything went great, no regrets.

Friday I came up with what (I think) was a pretty good way of handling my little dilemma. I didn't want her to come out and say "I love you" when I wasn't ready to say it back yet....so, what I planned to do was Friday night at the right moment say: "I'm pretty sure I'm falling in love with you." This way I pretty much take the lead and now she knows to just be patient and wait for the full thing.

So I took that approach and it went over well, but by the end of the night the whole thing came out. YOLO.

splashpot:

NEXT!

To everyone about their exes:

Cut that **** out!

So what is this quiver thing all about?

This is just really, really sad.

Decided I will be giving the online thing a shot. Reason is my non-traditional work schedule fills up a lot of "going out" time, and tbh I'm more of a home person these days anyway. Most of my social circle, which isn't much so far in LA since I've only been back ~year, includes my brother who I am close with, but he just got married, and a bunch of coworkers and old friends who are married w/children. Basically I don't have a wingman out here yet.

Got a profile up with some catchy words and some good pictures (had to crop out the ex).

Just got out of a 3 year on/off relationship so I'm conflicted about how I feel about dating right now. I don't know if I'll be okay with casual dating or if I'm ready to start something serious again. Been 3 weeks since the breakup and I'm just starting to even out, first week was ****ing rough.

Anyway I've gotten 4 messages so far (haven't sent one out). 2 single mothers, 1 local 3/10, and one normal single girl same age.

This may sound super trivial but I would really like to meet a girl I could play golf with.

I'm going to go through the thread and try to find some insight.

Starting on a lower end free site, working my way up to the bigger ones (sans eharmony).

Any random advice appreciated.

Derada,

Ok, so your goal was to postpone anyone saying "I love you" and your strategy for that was to say "I'm pretty sure I'm falling in love with you."

Hahahahahahahhahaha

Congrats, you lovebird!

As for ex, we were just having a lol friendly dinner since she has a boyfriend now lolololol.

Note to everyone: it's usually bad news if your girlfriend is having friendly dinners with exes!

Ya, I have no clue what's going on with this girl. She's got a lot going on socially so I don't really see why she'd want a guy she had one date with as a text buddy. I'd prefer Otty to be right but odds are it's the other way. I guess I'll just keep waiting to see what happens, but obviously no chasing from my end.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=409Pjtq7jzY