Not small talking with an online first date for a few days is going to lead to flaking. There needs to be some natural conversation IMO since it's easy to flake or get distracted by other guys. Small talk + see you tomorrow = good

I'm not letting it bother me; just using it as a learning experience. I haven't done any recent dating until about 2 weeks ago and it seems like a lot of my current thoughts on dating don't apply in the same way online as they do in other situations.

thanks for the advice guys. I'm not big on small talk, but will work on it for future dates.

"Cafe XXX at 7?" or something like that is fine. No sane person would think you're insecure for confirming the details of the meet.

I made the joke earlier in the thread, but a good one I've used is "see you at _______, I'll be wearing the pink tuxedo"

Just text her afternoon of 'See you at 8:30, I'll bring a cantaloupe so you recognise me' (credit to who posted that). You definitely need to confirm.

So I had a subscription to the site How About We, never got any hits on it, so I didn't renew. Now I've gotten 3 messages in 2 days that I can't read or respond to without subscribing. Lolinternetscams

I've just been telling them, meet you out front at ???? when setting up the time. Haven't had any issues yet and it avoids, at least for me, the whole awkward sitting solo at the bar waiting for someone.

All,

If you have any qualms about confirming (and I agree, I would confirm any first date IRL or whatnot if it was like not the next day), say something about changing the time.

ex- you were supposed to meet at 830.

6PM: "Got caught up at work/gym/traffic and it pushed my schedule back. I won't be there till closer to 8:45 now. See you then!"

I just confirm the time with them, as though you are going with a friend to dinner/whatever.

So... No advice for me?

Maybe I need to start a live game thread.

Would you do a summary post or provide a couple of links?

Meet out front is kind of a wimpy move. Go inside, scope out the scene, be nice to the staff, don't sit on your phone the whole time. Sitting at the bar is not awkward. Be a gentlemen and secure a good table/location before she arrives.

I mention these things b/c the staff or the patrons may know your date. I always assume anything I might do while waiting before the date could get back to her.

What do you do for work? The office setting is pretty important. I'm usually very anti-date people at work, but depends on the job/atmosphere a lot. A happy hour with a few/bunch of co workers, or something outside of the office is def the best way to go about it.

I think the best thing is to introduce topics of conversation of non work related things so she might think about you outside of work, if that makes sense.

You needed to quote like one more post by amazin. He plays poker and she's with the floor or something.

EDIT: Here it is:

Usually a question mark in at least one of the responses is a nice way to engage in a message conversation with a total unknown. But ultimately I think you're correct, my "message game" is super rusty since I've basically not been doing it for over a month. That said, I got her to open up a bit...

She then sent a paragraph describing what she wants in a guy and how she spends her summers and winters BUT the response did not include a question... which is indicative of a poor conversationalist, at least through messages, IMO. Responding is an indication of interest, that she doesn't seem interested in knowing anything about me by asking a question or two is just ****ing annoying. I have low odds on this developing into an actual date if only because I'll lose interest in thinking of things to ask or write... that and you ****ers have trained me out of my naturally incredible wit

Amazinmets,

The ask out a girl thread in Student Life is pretty good. I think you've posted in it before.

I've been flaked on exactly once in my online dating career, maybe I'm running good?

Summers in the Hamptons? Winters in St. Bart's?

I've never been flaked on. Only had 2 dates from online though lol

I've never been flaked but had fatties show up. which is worse? did anyone have a flake they contacted that day and then didn't show up, that would irritate me i think.

also texting the day of saying whatever is definitely the move because if she never gets back to you then you can just not show up and save yourself the time. i say something like:

i might be running a little late does ____ time still work.

the ill be the guy with the watermelon sounds pretty solid also imo.

I was once flaked by a (secret) fattie. Lemme tell you, that's the nut low.

Anyone ever go on a date with a chick that had to be married? I had one like that, nothing added up, chick had to be married.

This made me lol for some reason. Can you elaborate?

The high flake factor is also a result of the girl having so many other options from being on a dating website. The girl you meet at a bar doesn't have a million and one other options so she's less likely to flake. Also, she has seen you in person before so the date is less of a risk.

Amazin,

It's impossible to give you any advice when you provide no information, which was the point of my last post. A point you apparently didn't grasp.