walk her to the car, every single time. even big girls like to feel protected

I don't think first meetings where you just get a drink are really dates. They are a screening to see if you both are interested in going out on a real date. I never go for a kiss at the end of a first meeting. I will at the end of the first real date. This is if you're seeking a relationship. If you're both just looking for something casual, that's a different situation.

Thanks for everything thread - I wish you all (even atf) continued success in your online romantic endeavors

I'm curious on how you guys handle 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc date greetings with women you've at least made out with. For example, when cheerleader arrived Thursday for our 2nd date, though we'd already slept together, I wasn't sure how I should greet her. I went for the hug and kiss on the lips because, **** it, that's one proven activity that we enjoy doing together, however I seriously considered a hug and kiss on the cheek or something along those lines. The first ten minutes or so, while we were waiting for the next train at my place, were kind of odd as it felt like a "feeling out" period; sort of determining exactly what's going to happen even though she already asked if she should plan on spending the night. Beyond the initial greeting, once physicality was reestablished everything fell into place. It's likely that I was over thinking it but still, you never really know where you stand / what they are expecting / what you can get away with... especially so early on.

It really pays to be bold. I think a lot of guys are wishy washy about all this stuff and you can differentiate yourself from the pack by being assertive and confident. Basically acting, as you wrote, like George Clooney.

Single lips-only kiss is probably the worst of all moves. In my experience, it's basically meaningless in terms of establishing anything. Like if you see her again, then what? Greet her with a hug? Another single lip kiss?

You should have asked her from the get go. There's a reason she never texted you and two days passed, yet she snap gives her number out when you ask. Chicks rarely want to initiate contact because they don't have to.

Asking her to text you is almost always going to be a bad play. If you want to text her do it.. don't put the onus on her to do what you want.

A while ago I posted this:
---------
"So after the 3 dates and everything being great, she cancelled the 4th date and then disappeared for 4 days not answering a text. I didn't send any followups, she messaged today...after a bit of back and forth I said I was surprised to hear from her and she said:

I know. I've been thinking a lot these days and I realized I got a little scared and stand off-ish being intimate with someone. Reminded me of my ex and I guess I'm just not ready for anything right now.

------


I wrote her something aloof about enjoying hanging out with her and no pressure (something along those lines)...this was about 10 days ago. I want to fire off a text to see if I can get things going again. Is a 'hey xxx- what are you up to on ______ lets go to ____" better than just sparking a convo and asking after a few messages (assuming she responds)?

the brightest stars are always the first to burn out.

gl w your new found relationships. make jrkkcountrys after a few years and name one Lazer.

I think the first part is intended to be a compliment right???

Also grats kkc on the quick success and to a continued successful relationship. As well as all others doing well on their grind.d

It read to me like she was more comfortable not having him do it. Doing something like that after she's politely declined. I'd either just not ask and just walk her to the car or not push it if she declines.

what does it mean when someone insults the thread and then asks the thread for advise?

omg gonna see miss wonderful again tuesday, def didnt think i was gonna see her again

totally not getting excited
im not
im not
imnotimnotimnot

I personally would just ask her out. You will get all the info you need by the way she responds. Obv if she says no, you know she isn't ready, yes and it is back on.

After that last message from her would have been a good time to cut bait and move on, imo. She's probably just signaling 'not interested' and even if she isn't dating someone who isn't over their ex and has hangups about sex/intimacy isn't fun.

Lazer,

Just send a simple what up type message and see if she responds. if she does ask her out.

kkcountry,

congrats on coming off the grid. If you can give a quick final report on where you're at.

Does this maiden have a picture?

Depends what you're looking for, pof is better for hookups and okcupid is better for relationships ime. I've never used match. Based on what I've seen here and elsewhere I think there's a lot of regional variance too.

apparently pof's management is aware it's getting a reputation as the hookup-friendly site and is trying to become hookup-unfriendly. If I had to guess I'd guess it's because the male:female ratio veered significantly higher than okcupid's but I don't really know.

aaaaatta boy!

What do you guys generally do when your first date asks 'so, how has your OKCupid/Match/POF' experience been? What do you mention re. previous girls, and also other girls that you are currently seeing (e.g say you went on a date the night before, or you have one for the next day, or you're banging a couple of other chicks).

Gloss over the positive experiences and tell whatever horror stories you have.

Also be as vague as possible until you can change the subject.

I kinda like talking about it, I feel there's something we definitely have in common and can talk about all the weirdos and nonsense. You guys think no bueno?

Just got back from my 2nd online date. Girl ended up looking totally different than her pictures, although it was neutral. She looked pretty good in her pics and also looked pretty good irl, but just totally different.

Started out very well. She was more of an intellectual type, which I kinda am, so that was nice and we had a pretty good convo going over our first two drinks.

We then took a walk to get ice cream and she just wasn't giving me any opportunities to flirt with her or get a little physical. It wasn't really that she didn't seem into me (she actually sent me a text ~20 min. after we parted), but just that once she got some liquor in her she babbled on and on and on. I swear by the end of the night she had talked for ~20 min. nonstop. Most of what she was saying I was actually interested in, but I mean, come on, stfu already and let's flirt or mess around or something.

Gonna wait and see how mini-golf on Monday goes with the girl from Friday night before I make any decisions about whether to see the girl from tonight again or not. I'm kinda really feelin' that girl from Friday night as she seemed way more on my level than this one.

Yeah, it's a pretty standard question that comes up because it's both a test to see if you're ****ing other women and an invitation to be funny. If you put some thought into your response it's not that hard to be funny without hinting at the {fact|possibility} that you're actively ****ing other women.

derada: if she dominated the conversation all night it's because you allowed her to.

A 21-year-old Asian USC student messaged me on OKC (I'm 35, and my listed minimum age is 25). She lists herself as bisexual and links to a profile of her 19-year-old friend who is pretty hot. The 19-year-old also links to her profile (saying she has yellow fever) and indicates that she is straight but that she finds women super attractive and prefers them over men a lot of the time. Should I message back?