It won't be worth it by the time I get that done (I live alone). She messaged me first, so she's prob a dude. NBD

Edit: May as well give all the details since I'm going out with this girl tomorrow.

She's 25, has a degree but is currently going back to school for nursing (I just graduated college the 2nd time (thnx Black Friday) so we have something in common, but she doesn't know this yet). Works as a nurse, taking summer classes, and teaches fitness classes at a local gym so she's super busy. She initiates texts and her profile is no longer public but still exists. I'm guessing she has a handful of guys given her profile photos, so I wanted to lock down a date ASAP because she's so damn busy and likely has a lot of offers. On Sunday, I asked for a weekday date this week and got a maybe. She initiated today and we found out we have a ton in common, so I "won" the date.

i really dont think a mirror shot in this situation is a big deal at all
"Hey I didn't have any recent ones so I took this one just now."

seems hugely overthinking this

tell her you need more fake stories for the internet

Tell her about this review you could have read on RottenTomatoes:

"Luhrmann's current creative mindset reflects more PT Barnum than J Gatsby; a manipulative showman able to conjure images of light and colour to dazzle the masses while wilfully neglecting their hearts and minds."

And then she'll be happy to see Iron Man III instead even if it was a test.

Though more seriously, did she really say she was excited to see Gatsby, but will see another movie instead since she didn't think you'd like Gatsby? She sounds really nice.

Girl that I have been dating for a few weeks from OKC wants both of us to delete our accounts. What do I say to this? She seems like an exclusive type and has been posting on twitter how she is in love for the first time in awhile. OH JESUS. Obviously I don't want to, but I want to continue to date her and other girls without coming across as a scumbag. I lied and said I didn't know how to, but she said she would help me next time we are together.

Gatsby isn't that bad btw. Saw it yesterday and I found it passable. She will prob tear up at the ending and you can take advantage.

LT,

It's something I would write and would likely be scolded here for doing so. However I'd go more over the top with it to avoid coming off as snarky.

Green,

It's all real bro. Everything. My three months of online dating - the good the bad the ugly - all captured here. 350+ posts here, 30-40 opening messages across OKC and POF, one re-up on my pay-as-you-go phone, 10 dates with 8 women, $200-$300 spent, 8-10 hours of commuting. All worth it, even the failures. I'm only upset with one thing and that's my Saturday afternoon text to Mercedes where I asked her out and she didn't respond until late Sunday saying she just got the text (yeah right). I thought it was low class to leave an offer hanging and it disappoints me that 30+ year old women act that way.

I'm actually curious about the account deleting, too. Has anyone asked a girl about deleting it? Been asked?

you can deactivate your account for this reason exactly, so you can restore it in 4-8 months when things don't work out
Would never ask, never been asked, but I'm not a baller.

couldnt you just block her and if she round abouts to see you blocked her then shes obv insane.

Just tell her the truth. That you want to continue to date other people, 3 weeks is too soon for you to be exclusive. She will either move on because she wants a serious relationship, or continue to see you to seek validation after you have essentially rejected her, until she eventually gets hurts over and over after numerous attempts to pin you down on commitment with fail.

The other option of lying doesn't really work because she sounds like a clinger and will end up stalking you on the dating site and catch you and it will blow up on you.

Better yet, convince yourself that a short first message is the perfect message. I rarely have good results when I try to write more. It's not even a matter of not being worth the time. I'd spend an hour crafting a message if it would increase the odds of starting a conversation that leads to a date with a higher quality woman, but it doesn't work like that.

Consider the fact that if you're asking about something that she's into, she will probably want to spend a few sentences talking about it. Now multiply that by three or four subjects. Now add in her own questions that she wants to ask you. It can get overwhelming quickly. I had a girl message me a few weeks ago and she asked about 4 different questions, all of which would have been great subjects for me to talk about individually. But in order to address all of them I would have spent 30 minutes typing out a response. And I couldn't really ignore any of them or not address them in full because they were all very basic foundational questions relating to all of my hobbies and things I like to spend time on. I felt like if I ignored them it would be awkward to revisit those subjects in the future, and if we never talk about them it's going to be hard to get that initial feel about whether we might get along. I decided I would write back later if I had more time, then never got around to it. If she had just stuck to one question in that initial message it would have been easy to fire back a quick response immediately, then over the next several messages we could have got around to all that other stuff, or better yet saved some of them to discuss on a date. Don't try to fit everything into the first message.

I asked a girl once about it becuase she de-activated her profile after I got her number.

she said it was becuase she had a few dates lined up and wanted to see how those went. I assume thats a pretty normal play for girls after lining up some options.

fwiw after our date she reactived her profile a week or two later. lol

Here is a new wrinkle. I can't hang out until next week. I hate this since I normally crush OKC, but I actually like this chick. Strange, I know. Write back e-mail, and then text check your e-mail? And in the e-mail I run out why I'm tied up? I'd obviously add more than that in the text.

Our messages have been bricks of text FWIW (paragraphed of course.)

are there europeans here ? What are your favorite (best) sites ? OKC and POF has like 0 traffic in my country

Yeah, she just finished reading the book and was definitely excited to see it. That was why I thought it may have been a test to see if I was legitimately interested in seeing it or just doing it to get into her pants.

Anyway, I ended up telling her that I actually did want to see it as I was curious to see what made the book so special. Partially true, but I know going to see it should definitely score me some points haha

She sounds legit crazy. Why do you still want to date her? Talking about how she's in love after a few weeks and in a very public way while asking you to delete your account is over the top.

I went over the top in subsequent messages so it was clear I was trying to have fun

Is The Purge a good film to go and see with a girl? I'm on third date. She's agreed to see it. But is it too grisly/serious?

Where's the leak here?


I'm guessing I should have used another message to clarify that I'm not some scumbag that's only interested in slobbering over her with something like

...and that I did not and was perhaps too forward by asking for the digits probably compelled her to bail. There's a different culture to POF than OKC, the women seem to expect more message interaction. At least from what I've experienced thus far.

ETA: In retrospect, I also don't like that I used stab, death and abducted in my messages. That's poor form and a potential red flag I think, especially so early on.

I would not go see a movie. The type doesn't really matter.

Agree with this. Unless you've already dialed up the physicality, it seems like the worst early date idea ever.

As with all of the messages you have posted here, you are trying to be too cute and too witty. A little bit is good, but at some point you have to be able to interact like a normal person.

Thanks for the feedback. I more or less write whatever comes to mind first but for whatever reason I find it abrupt to switch gears to a normal convo.

Taping this to my monitor, courtesy of Sly.

I don't like the delivery of this last line but it seems to be the right idea to me.

Wasn't there someone who was going for a castration for the first date? That seems worse.

The conversation about a castration date could be fun. The actual date, no words. Then again, I did spend like two hours at a ****ing cemetery!