Girl language: "its ok you flaked on me. I have low self esteem I'll keep on chasing you" in guy language is "OK, np. Let's do something next week. How is Tuesday? Or Friday?".

Really like the idea of saying "no problem, but how are you going to make it up to me?"
Playful, flirty, sets up for discussing another encounter and more than anything cannot be misconstrued as sheer bitterness.

That comes across as needy.

Ok party,its not as bad as rescheduling right away.

"Ok no problem,but you're buying icecream next time. I like vanilla"

BL,

That I like. I've had a near 100 percent success rate inviting girls out for ice cream, no joke.

Haha yeah. Its my default asking out line.

"Drinks and thumbwar,loser buys icecream .7 @ bar xxx. Wear something sexy so we match "

you're right actually, re-reading. Would need a "" smiley but I have a no-smiley policy for the most part.
The ice-cream one is just great!

JLB its ok to use smiley faces just don't overdoit.

if you can't think of anything playful to say when you get snubbed, there's nothing wrong with "that's too bad, i was really looking forward to meeting you" and walking off. if she's still down, she'll let you know.

I like going with Henry's line of "Shame"

I once said "okay - ball's in your court", implying I was done with it unless she pursued. She did, and we dated for a bit. She later mentioned that exact text, definitely left an impression on her.

Or yea some kind of "punishment" like she owes you a beer now.

You have some pretty good advice but most of it seems like it's straight from some pick up website and it's just over the top and not necessary especially for guys who are struggling.

Like for instance, on flaking, you guys should realize girls also have lots of anxiety and doubts (especially those on a dating site) and most likely the flaking has nothing to do with you but how she is feeling. Right? Like can you empathize and feel that mindset that she is likely in when she flakes? If so, saying something super smooth and witty isn't going to matter that much because she isn't in a fun mindset and you are not going to change that because you won't have much of an influence on her since she doesn't really know you yet.

So, saying "ok no problem" is completely fine at that moment and shouldn't be something you should focus on or question. If you think she is testing you or she has flaked more than once and is being inconsiderate and you still want to pursue her, I would just not respond and try some other time when she is more receptive. I wouldn't try to "punish" or change someone that I have barely interacted with. It's just a waste of time and counterproductive. Once you meet for the first time, whatever you perceive the power dynamic to be that you had via text, is not really going to matter anyway compared to what you can create face to face.

People really think BL has given good advice?

I just reread my post. There's no reason for me to be critical of the guy I quoted. It seems he is just trying to share his knowledge for the benefit of others. Nothing wrong with that.

Right. If you read couple posts above El Diablo was saying he had a lot of success inviting girls out for icecream.

Why is that? It's more casual and it doesn't put pressure on the girl.
Guys think going on a date is a big deal,especially if they were chasing the girl for a while. They ask the girl to dinner and other crazy stuff making it like a special day or whatever. A girl is more likely to say yes to drinks&icecream than to dinner.

Those responses sound fine for when a girl actually cancels on you. But what about when he just starts ignoring your texts? Do you still send another text telling her "ball's in your court" or something?

"Balls in your court??"**** no. DON'T do that. If she doesn't reply wait a day then send another text,if she still doesn't reply just delete #.

Nick,

If a girl doesn't get back once, a followup text is fine. **** happens, people get busy, texts get missed, etc. She doesn't get back again? Let it go.

Nick if she didn't reply the first time send this:

"You don't write,you don't call,the kids are wondering where you are. What should I tell them?"

"You don't write,you don't call I've been waiting by the phone every night eating insane amounts of icecream and crying myself to sleep"

I seriously can't believe you would think it is a good idea to say that.

Perhaps we are getting to the heart of the other dating issues you've been having. Not sure.

If I missed a text from a girl or didn't respond or something and then she sent me that I would run away fast. Yuck.

Same goes for if I became friends with some guy through people from work and we were going to meet up later to get a drink or catch up or something. If I missed the text and then he said that my reaction would be "WTF? Why is he such a whiny bitch?"

Basically, in a lot of these situations you can use the standard of somebody reaching out to you. If it is creepy or weird coming at you then you should reconsider saying it to a girl you like who doesn't even know you.

It didnt really sound like a good idea to me. But I mentioned a girl flaked on me and got a bunch of responses that I should text her along these lines. But I wasnt sure if people were assuming she had actually told me she was cancelling, as opposed to just ignoring.

sup microbob and others,

planning on online dating to ring in the new year. feel good about initiating conversations/beating the #'s game and setting up dates. but:

1) how do i handle not having my own place (in the messages, or sharing this information in person)
1a) i have a leased and respectable car, work 30 hrs/wk and school full time, and some spending money

2) dates - maybe date one will be quick coffee type thing to feel each other out, then something fun for #2

2a) while i have $$ im not in a position to be throwing it around on dead ends and don't especially like the idea of paying much more than half the time nor do I want a girl (i am seeking relationship) who expects me to as well. not sure how to handle this.

2b) go in for kiss at end of first real date pretty standard?

btw my english is fine just feeling rl lazy atm...thanks in advance, enjoyed reading 7.5 pages of futility