Dozens. A friend of mine once created a fake account and he said that he was getting tons of messages ranging from guys who just say hi to guys that just say they wanna **** to probably 1 or 2 guys who actually put some thought into their response.

LA,

A couple of pretty hot chicks (8+?) I know around that age get 10-50 messages per day depending on how active they are (on OKC it shows them in search/featured/etc more/less based on how active they are on the site).

Some ok looking girls (6ish?) I know get 5-10 messages per day.

I improved and corrected your observation for you. Good luck.

Weird...just got a text from this girl who I had been messaging with on OKC like 2 months ago. She ultimately flaked right before we set up a meeting time. Now apparently she saw me on another dating site and has changed her mind & wants to meet up. Does this seem worth it? It would have to be after Christmas, since I'm going out of town tomorrow.

Do YOU want to meet up? You are a man. You decide whether you want to meet up. Then act accordingly.

She might
Flake again but it's worth a shot

I certainly wanted to meet up before she flaked the first time. I'm just not sure how much the flaking is a sign of general untrustworthiness (or a sign of rudeness to just start ignoring my texts w/out explanation), and thus how much it should demean my view of this girl.

Who cares about that. Do you feel like she is unworthy of your time? If so, don't meet up. If you feel that you could spare some of your time for her, then meet up

Flaking seems very common from what friends tell me about pof girls. They get nervous or meet someone else, after you meet for the first time I doubt it would be a prob

i have a strict no flaking policy, but im a punctuality nazi.

in fact if she kept me waiting for more than 15 minutes i would probably leave if there was no phone call/ text (and i have done so in the past).

Nick, one flaking = don't be so upright.

Sure, it's not the coolest thing in the world. But relax and move on. Maybe you can save any judgment of whether you like her or not for when you actually meet.

Yeah, I texted her and said I would be happy to meet up for a drink sometime after Christmas. She replied that that works, since she's not free until New Year's anyway; IIRC she's a flight attendant and travels ~4 days/week. So we'll see if this actually happens...

Make sure you text her something every couple days till the meet up to keep momentum. Anyway flight attendant = easy lay.

re: flaking in online dating

for me, the first flake isnt necessarily a dealbreaker. most of the time its the chick just blowing you off and you wont ever meet her (75%ish perhaps?), but sometimes they legit want to meet you but something came up. why ruin those times by being a flake nazi? what i will do though is adjust my expectations accordingly, chase less, let her get back to me, be less available, etc. those types of things.

also, i feel like girls are more likely to meet you if youre cool and laid back about things like this. though, thats just a theory, ive never actually discussed that with a girl before. maybe somebody here can confirm?

i dont think ive ever told this story on here before, but my current gf who i met online blew me off for our first date. we had plans to meet for coffee (lame) and she texted me that something came up last minute. kinda thought it was b.s., but nbd this happens once in a while.

she insisted she still wanted to meet me. so obv i played the 'how you gonna make it up to me?' game and worked a late night meetup at her place for drinks and a movie for the first date. told her to text me day of with her address with the intent of not really communicating with her again if she didnt get back to me. got a text with her address and the rest is history. so its not always a death knell.

def this. wait a couple of days, then send something FUN. maybe have a short back and forth conversation. then wait for her to text you first the next day. if she never does, wait another couple of days and do the same thing. repeat until she starts texting you first or you have your meetup.

Yes. You have to be cool about her flaking but you have to call her out on it. You have boundaries and her flaking on you is not ok. The trick is you can't be butthurt and you have to use humor. The moment she senses you're butthurt,you're done.

Oh btw this text drives them crazy:
"It's cool. Maybe we'll run into each other some day"

haha nice. im totally gonna steal that if im ever back in the game someday.

Also,some hot girls will flake on purpose to see if you stay cool or turn into a stalker.

wait what, that can be read like the most passive agressive/butthurt text in history... or is it just me?

That's not my best text ever but works.

Read it in girl language:

You're awsome and I would like to see you but I have other girls in my life and I'm not going to chase you.

JL,

It's not just you.

Definitely strikes me as a terrible text to say. Yuck.


Nick, so she's a flight attendant who is away for days at a time...and you just mentioned that now? Ummm, maybe that's related to the previous response issues? Cmon man. I don't even know why you're asking what to do here.

You definitely need to relax and just go with it more.

'OK, np' seems like a more efficient way to convey to a girl that you don't care that she cancelled on you.

i like it and dont think it comes across as butthurt at all, but i do normally go with somethling like dean said. usually 'its cool, some other time then'.

the key (imo anyway) is to not have it look like its a big deal or it bothers you. which is why i normally eschew the standard PUA guy advice of "SHOW HER YOU HAVE STANDARDS AND TELL HER TO **** OFF AND DONT EVER TALK TO HER AGAIN!!!1!!!"

It may seem good but its not. You don't punish her for flaking so she will do it again.

In girl language: "its ok you flaked on me. I have low self esteem I'll keep on chasing you"